


His Name is Bucky

by daisherz365



Series: The Other Halves [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, M/M, Post CA:TWS, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Captain America: Civil War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-02-14 03:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 60,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2176644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisherz365/pseuds/daisherz365
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Within the first ten minutes of their introduction she throws a knife at him. He catches it, but it's enough to give him pause. He's looking for answers and she has few worth mentioning but everything else seems to confuse him. Not only about himself but why she isn't afraid. She told him, he wasn't the first killer to ever be close to her. He blinks, needing to know more. Post TWS - Civil War</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this thing will only be a three parter. An already excessively long three parter that I've been working on physically for a month but mentally probably since I saw CA:TWS. 
> 
> It's probably changed over a hundred times before I got ready to really write it and I do have the second part done but I'm testing the waters here because I've never done anything like this before but I hope you like what my brain is going with this and feel free to send all the suggestions you got because I'm still writing it currently.
> 
> I hope you like this first chunk though! 
> 
> much love,  
> day
> 
> ( **EDIT: there are definitely more than three parts but after the third we go into extra shots which as of now are heading into civil war territory - 5/6/2016**
> 
>  **Now in Civil War territory. Have been for about four chapters. Still have a few more to go - 8.19.2016** )

**1/3**

Her first introduction to the WINTER SOLDIER or the man with the wild eyes as she had come to call him in her mind was the day she decided to take a run through the backstreets that were closest to her home and the safest to boot. It became clear when a gloved hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her down an alley that maybe not even the roads you called home were safe anymore.

She had glanced at the newspapers of course, and seen what covered the front page only to go to the comics section that was minimal for a Sunday. The front page was more often than not covered with travesty and while she was aware of the horror of it, she didn't wish to be involved in it too much. She liked to think everyone had a chance of having a normal life and having a happy one at that despite of what was plastering the newspaper and talked about daily on the television in the early mornings and the late nights. She preferred to try to find a safe balance between staying completely out of any trouble if she could.

Damn it if she hadn't had her fair share of troubles from the past.

However, when she looked into the eyes of the Winter Solider. The man that had a profile on her newspaper late that evening she had been scared for a brief moment before she settled and really looked at him. He wasn't all that scary in the dark. She had been the kind to feed strays that came to her door on a good day and even buy a sandwich for the man who sat on the intersection by the grocery story she frequented. Everything was cute until you really looked at it.

She could vaguely remember a small paragraph about the man with the codename. He was supposed to be avoidable at all cost due to his danger to civilians and the recent trouble with attacking one of the most noble and loved men in history; Captain America also known as Steve Rogers. She hadn't been able to avoid him it seemed, and the idea that he had tried to kill Cpt. Rogers weighed heavily on her mind. Yet, right now that was not her main concern. Something felt off about this and him.

When she looked at his intense eyes that glowed with the dim lighting of the street lamp that was posted a few feet away from them, and the clothes that barely fit him she only saw a man who was in panic and needed a hand.

So what did Emilie Timothy do? She reached for his arm even though it was pressing into her side casing her to the brick will. Pain was irrelevant when there was someone else in distress in her company, and he recoiled from her – only a small fraction, a millimeter at best.

He huffed, turning his head away from her before hearing her speak to him.

This was the first time he felt something that he as a human being was supposed to feel. Something that wasn't triggered by the agony of the pulses that scrambled his brain. It was foreign but he felt good because of it. It was strange, her voice that is. It was quiet, and curious and he felt stunned at not only the sound of it but what she asked him.

"Are you okay? Can I do anything for you?"

Like an ape in the wild that wasn't sure whether or not to trust a human, he moved closer to the woman with the honey auburn hair and leaned close until he was nose to nose to her. He looked for the signs of fear that he was used to, she smiled at him then and something clicked inside him.

"Okay."

Emilie wasn't sure what that meant so she asked him, "Um, what do you mean? Sorry you're not exactly clear."

She watched him swallow quickly as he looked at her. "You offered to do something for me. I need something." The word help wouldn't make it past his tongue. It seemed lost on him, he had done such much lately that it felt wrong to even ask this. If she asked him he would leave her here. There was something off about her, something he couldn't have seen when she passed the first time. However, he felt too centered right now to even try to put a name to what it could be. He watched her now, closely.

Emilie bit her lip as she surveyed him closely. She didn't stray from his face mostly because she didn't know if he would react well to her trying something that he didn't understand. She didn't say anything at first. This whole situation was pretty bizarre. An image flashed in her head that almost made her hesitate, she tossed it back into her head where it stayed. It wasn't the time to have a complete breakdown even if a dude with a metal arm was pressed against her. If her grandmother was still around she would have been calling her stupid for even thinking of helping someone who was seen as a menace to the world at large but sometimes the papers were wrong. In this case she hoped they were very wrong.

"My house is on the left side. It's better if we talk there. People aren't out exactly but…" The soldier seemed to understand what she was trying to say so he grabbed her arm as he backed up and turned her so that they could begin walking in the direction that she indicated. She knew this probably wasn't any better but he didn't seem to think so. She went along with it. It wasn't like she had a choice in the matter exactly. He probably had weapons on him.

His eyes were shifting everywhere as she led on. He was probably looking for targets and making sure that there weren't anyone noising around. Right now, there weren't many of them, she knew but she prayed that no one would be watching. She would hate for anyone to get harmed because she decided to help a guy out. Granted he was a guy who had pulled her into an alley when she was probably the first person to pass by him.

At some point as they headed down the path of Miller Avenue she had forcibly made him bring his hand down to the side so that it wasn't so obvious that he was holding on to her in that way. She didn't think it was the wisest decision to tell him that this wasn't the first time that she had been in a situation like this but he would find out fairly soon. Her mind had already begun to make a battle plan once they were in the safest environment of her house.

214 Miller Avenue was were a fairly large house that sat next to two hedged covered homes. Emilie found herself almost grateful for the two families that hadn't gotten around to clearing away their gardens. It was the fall so not that many people were itching to snip away hedges. She moved away from him slowly and reached for her key in her pocket which alarmed the man with the metallic arm for he was breathing down her neck as she made a grab for it. "It's just my key. I don't keep knives on me like some people." She huffed not daring to look at him though she could feel his eyes on her every move. She quickly unlocked the door before rushing inside with him close on her trail. She locked the door, exhaling deeply as she turned to stare at him. He was still standing near her as if she would do something stupid like make a run for it.

Where the hell would she go? This was the safest place to her. It was her home.

"Feel free to sit. I'm parched, I need water. Would you like some?" She smiled at him a little. His face was made of stone as she slid past him to walk towards her kitchen. He didn't follow her thankfully, as she got a bottle of water from her fridge. She made quick work of drinking some from it.

She looked around her kitchen a minute. It was clean apart from the dishes in the sink that she had planned to do when she got back from her late night run. Her eyes caught the knives that sat in the block and her plan from earlier came back to mind. She took another swig out of water bottle before grabbing one of the knives and hiding it in front of her but low enough that it wasn't visible to anyone that walked into the room as she posted against the island in the center of the room.

Emilie called out to him slowly, "Are you sure you don't want anything?" Her voice was calm though she felt the familiar sensation of nervousness settle in at being in the same similar situation as two, maybe three years ago. She breathed in and out as she heard his boots against the wooden floor as he followed the same path to the kitchen as she had.

As he appeared she threw the knife at him only for him to catch it as it nearly grazed his ear. He tilted his head to the side as if to ask her what she thought she was doing. He didn't say it though but he stepped closer to her and tossed the knife back at her making a similar motion, except it made its mark as it slid across her ear, taking strands of her hair in the process and landing at the wall behind her under one of the cabinets.

He watched as she touched her ear, looking at the red ooze of blood that began to drip slowly from the shell of her ear. She turned away from him as he moved around the island and towards her again. She ignored the tightening of her chest as she made a grab for one of the towels on the handle of the oven.

"Are you one of them?"

His voice had an edge to it. He bite ever word as he enunciated it perfectly, trying to make sure that she understood him. She didn't like it but she didn't answer him. She wasn't sure what he was talking about. She peered at him trying to gauge whether or not she should try to leave the room and risk him coming after her or if she even had to do that at all. His hands were curled at his side. He looked tense and more so furious at her.

"What do you mean? One of who?"

"You threw a knife at me. You must have a reason. Are you HYDRA? They can blend in with anyone who's to say they haven't used civilians as well."

HYDRA

She had heard that name before. She shut her eyes trying to pinpoint where she had heard it before. It wasn't very helpful, she couldn't think with him so close to her. He didn't scare her exactly but he gave off this vibe when he was angry. She had known him for only ten minutes but she knew that was probably long enough for her.

"No. I've heard that name before but no. I'm ordinary. I needed to see something."

"What?" He muttered.

She didn't know if it was the confusion in his voice that made her look at him or if it was the idea that he could probably kill her in two seconds flat that made her want to look at him. "You're not the first man to attack me. I wanted to see how fast you were." That was all the information she felt like sharing, she walked out of the room.

-x-

He didn't know what it was about the woman but hearing her tell him that she had been attacked before by someone who wasn't an assassin (at least he figured that) made him feel odd. He had picked her out of the stragglers who were still out so late on the streets because she was on her own. She had also been running so if he needed her to get out of a bad situation she at least had a chance. He didn't know if he would need to dispose of her in the long haul. A part of him hoped not. There were already a long list of bodies in various points in time that he couldn't exactly remember that were already on his hands. One more wouldn't hurt but he also knew that wasn't true. He was searching for something.

He honestly didn't know what he could get out of her. She had offered to aid him but then she turned around and tried to throw a knife at his face. It was highly confusing to him. If this whole mess with the man in the stars and stripes wasn't enough of a hassle and the lack of memories of who he really was then she was another piece of it. It was just his luck that he had chosen her.

She did seem different than the other people he's had to deal with as the killer that he was. He had seen his fair share of men and women who had pleaded for their lives just as he was about to pull the trigger or slice their throats open with his knife but she was different. He didn't understand why she's done anything at all to help him, even if it was just taking him to her home.

He stayed in the kitchen for a few more moments before moving to the sitting room where she had left him at first. She was sitting on the couch with her head in her hand. She looked worse off than when he had taken to throwing the knife back at her. She should have ducked, he had given her at least a second to do so, yet here she was on the couch looking like she might have a break down or cry. Possibly both. He hoped for his sake that neither of those things happened.

He couldn't remember if he had even consoled a woman before in his past life as Bucky Barnes. He could barely remember the pieces of himself that were wholly considered to be good. A small flash entered into his head then of a cleaner version of himself with his arm around the man in blue who was much tinier, giving him words of sympathy. He looked at the woman again and saw her staring at him. She didn't look too bad anymore but she looked curious.

"What's your name?"

He didn't know if he should answer her at first.

"I rather not refer to you as what they have you listed as in the paper. The Winter Soldier." Her fingers on the left hand – the one that wasn't pressing to her ear with the towel used air quotes around his alias. "What should I call you?"

He folded his arms as he thought about it for a moment. He knew who was supposed to be. This James, but he didn't know if he could connect himself with it. "I'm not sure. I'm still trying to figure out the answer to that."

"You don't know who you really are outside of what the papers say?"

He shakes his head. "I haven't read them but I know who Steve Rogers thinks I am. Who I'm supposed to be."

He couldn't grasp why he was talking so much currently. She was a stranger, and he was a stranger to her but her eyes told him another story. She would listen to him. She would ask questions and he wanted to know why it was so easy for her to do that. Her ability to switch from breaking down to this other woman who filled the same shell as the one who stared at him with those eyes.

"Who is that?"

"His name is Bucky."

She takes the towel from her ear and looks down at the red that is covering the corner of the towel where she pressed it against her ear. He can't see what she's thinking. Her hair is forming a curtain of concealment from him.

He can see the way she swallows. Her body shakes as she slowly centers herself. He wonders if it's something connected to the name. Bucky. Did she know him? No. He rejects it immediately. He's been frozen so many times that this woman who doesn't even look a day over twenty five if that would remember who he had been or who he had become in the process. He had so little memories of time as either but he would hope he would remember her.

"Do you want to know who you are?" Her voice is quiet again, like back in the alley. He decides he should probably sit down so he sits ever so carefully on the other couch which is more like an overgrown chair. He settles down into it, and finds it a bit too comfortable but doesn't move to get up. He can hear the sigh release from his lips but he doesn't say anything at first.

She's the one watching him as he stares down at the silver arm and the flesh one that he has on his lap. He knows that she's just a stranger but something tells him that not only will she be able to help him even just a small fraction but that perhaps he can help her too. He doesn't know why he wants to, or how but it's just a small feeling he has. Perhaps it's who he's supposed to be peeking through all the bloodshed and mayhem. He has no idea but he's resolute in it.

He doesn't know if he can say anything else so he just nods. Yes. He wants to know.

"Okay." She tells him. "I'll see what I can do. I'm not exactly a genius or anything but I can try my best."

He grunts in appreciation. He tilts his head up and sees the way her face brightens a bit, she's trying not to smile.

She gets up though when she notices him staring. "You can take the couch. This house might look big but it's actually doesn't have too much space. Most of it is out back." She almost leaves him in the room but seems to think better of it. "I'm Emilie by the way."

"Emilie…" He tests it on his tongue, trying to memorize it as she makes to actually leave him this time. He watches her cut through a corridor between the kitchen and another room. He is tempted to follow her so he can have a proper look around but he stalls. She didn't give him much time to follow anyhow for she comes back with a stack of blankets and pillows. There are also clothes on top of the pile.

"In case you want to shower." She mumbles to him. She doesn't tell him that he has to but he feels like it would be a good idea anyway. He doesn't remember the last time he bathed himself. He recalls being hosed down a few dozen times. None of it on his own.

"I'm going to use my own in my room but if you need anything. The other bathroom is the first door on the right. There should be towels and soap in there. I'll make sure before I go." She ends as she turns back around and goes back the way she came. Something seems off about her but he ignores it as he stands and takes the clothes and follows where she went down the corridor to the first door as instructed. He's better with directions than anything else. Probably do to the fact that that's how he is programmed to deal with situations. Follow this and everything will be fine. She had left the thought open to him though. He had a choice now.

Emilie bumped into him as he found the door though. She was checking as she said she would. She looked shocked to see him so soon after but she slid out of his way anyhow and went further down the hall. He waited to hear the door close before entering the bathroom.

It was a small bathroom, but it had everything he needed. The towels were in the cabinet right behind the door and toilet was near the tub. He was quick about cleaning up. He gave his hair a thorough scrub and made sure he had given himself a good clean before drying off and getting dressed. It was more methodical than anything else but somehow the action of getting clean made him feel less tense.

He took a look in the mirror afterwards. He didn't know what he was expecting to see. The face of the man they called Bucky. He looked away, taking time to toss his towels in the bin by the door and taking his clothes with him. Like Emilie had hinted at he had been carrying weapons with him. He had used his bare hands to grab her but he was equipped with enough that he could take someone out if he had to. Maybe even everyone on this street, if necessary.

He made sure to wrap his clothes tightly as he made his way out of there and back into the front room where the couches were. He noticed she didn't have a television. Most people nowadays did.

Nowadays.

He shut his eyes for a moment, stilling himself. He sounded like an old man. In theory he supposed he had to be. Every time they took him out of the chill of the cyro-sleep he was faced with a different take on the world, and every time there was something different. Except now he was stuck here. He didn't want to go back. He felt tense and the rage building every time he thought of going back to the madness of HYDRA or SHIELD. He didn't know where he was supposed to go but he knew the first thing he needed to do was deal with himself and figure out what he could.

He had someone willing to help him now. He only hoped what he was looking for could be found.

He sighed, trying to rid the thought of failure from sticking with him. He had failed in the past couple days and that was still with him. He couldn't stand to think about what else he could fail at now. So, he took the blankets and pillow and built a wall around it and shut his eyes for the night. He didn't know the last time he rested properly.

He hadn't slept in days, he was aware of that.

It came easy now though and it was relieving.

-x-

Emilie wakes to the darkness and the silence of the early morning. It's 4am and she almost forgets about her house guest in the living room. She almost wants to forget the fact that she's harboring a fugitive (at least she thinks so) who is a master assassin with several weapons that he's probably holding right now. He could kill her, this is really the first time she really takes the time to think about it.

She realizes that it doesn't bother her. What happened a few years ago cemented her care for her life. Or the lack of caring for it. She moved because she was breathing not because she had a choice. She supposed that wasn't true. She managed to get herself out of it, didn't she?

No one had been looking for her, the only person who had been happy to see her was the woman who lived next door. Mrs. Littleton, an old widow with a sweet Labrador who had made a mad dash for her when she fell into the hedge on the right side where his master lived. All the lights on the street had come on that day.

She sighs now, closing her eyes and rolling over. There's the photo of her brother on her nightstand. She doesn't remember much of her parents but her brother is the one person who mattered. She hadn't heard from him in years. He used to send letters but the last one came right before the pain started. She stopped herself from thinking about him. It always made her sad.

She fingered the photo briefly before rolling back over and trying to calm the ache in her chest.

Emilie must have fallen asleep again for the next time she woke it was sunny and her alarm had gone off. It's Monday which means she's supposed to work. She slowly slipped out of bed and changes into normal clothes. She decides that she doesn't want to go in today. It will seem odd to everyone else but she needs a day to settle The Soldier.

She realizes that she doesn't think she would feel right leaving him here.

To her surprise he's sitting up when she passes by the corridor. He looks better than he looked last night. A good washing will do that, a voice told her. She doesn't smile at him and he doesn't say anything as she goes to the kitchen and puts the coffee on. She spreads out on the island as she waits for the coffee.

She's nearly pulling out her hair by the time she hears the nearly silent shuffle as he enters the room. "Coffee?" She asks as she stands up straight and turns back around to the cabinets and fishes out one cup, and then another when she hears his grunt. It's a weird reaction but she kind of almost smiles at that little noise of his.

They wait in silence but when the drip stops and the machine makes a little happy alert to let whoever is around know that it's okay to take the pot off, she moves quickly as if it's just like breathing.

Most mornings Emilie goes without coffee but today she feels that she needs it. Today feels like it's going to be worse for wear. She can just feel it. She almost blames the fact that she started thinking of Ethan so early on. She misses him, but tries not to let it take over what she is supposed to be doing for her guest.

She pours two cups before taking the creamer and sugar from the cabinet which is a little too high for her but she manages just fine. She thinks nothing of the fact that the man in her kitchen is taller and could have probably reached it just fine. He's posted to the entrance leaning casually against the door.

One arm folded across his abdomen as his other metal one hands to the side. He pushes himself off when she places his cup closer to him and takes a step back. She gestures to the sugar and other things that he could add to suit his taste but he simply takes the cup in his hands and tosses it all back.

It has to burn, she tries not to get too excited about that but he simply places the cup back in the place where she set it. She stares at it for a second as she adds a little sugar to hers and takes her first sip.

As she's relishing the warmth that is slow to start on her tongue and flow to the rest of her body he forms a question. It's nothing too out of the ordinary. "Don't you work?"

"'Course. I'm taking a day."

She expects him to take that as a final answer but he seems to want to dig deeper. Emilie just wants a few seconds to herself but she should have realized last night that that was only a wishful thought. He doesn't know her, nor does she know much about him. "Can you afford to do that?"

"Yes." She quips as she takes his cup and places it in the sink and goes for another cupful of her own.

He is silent for a few moments as she enjoys her second cup. He seems like a silent type of person so she isn't too bothered by the quiet, she is used it being on her own so much. "I'm sorry that I don't have breakfast for you. I'm not in the mood to cook exactly. Not in the mood to work either, but I did agree to help you." She shrugs. She hates these days. She longs for the quiet, the solitude of being on her own but there is something almost comforting about having someone there to keep an eye on her when it should be the other way around.

When she slips by him, she feels his stare linger a little more than it should. She doesn't look to see what look he carries now as she grabs her bag that is by the door on a hook. "I'll be a few hours. You're welcome to peruse anything that is in the fridge or watch the television."

Before she can think of anything else that he could possibly do, she ducks out.

Bucky hears the click as the lock clicks in place.

He was right to think that there was something off about Emilie. It's more than just a feeling, he saw it then in the kitchen.

He doesn't make it a habit of snooping into people's things but the whole suspicion thing is a new thing to him. He wouldn't have thought twice about anything he was told prior to being sent to kill Steve Rogers. It's just his luck that his apprehension is worse now than it had been months ago. He wants to know everything, even if it won't help.

He starts in the living room where he slept. He spends less time there as there isn't much to look through. Emilie has a wall that contains a small bookcase with vinyl records on it in a random order. He reads off a few of the titles but doesn't see anything of interest there as he looks at the paintings that sit on the walls above the bookcase.

Both of them are centered on the sea. He thinks their nice to look at but doesn't see anything particularly telling about them. It's possible that she picked them up because they were appeasing to the eyes. It wasn't that important so he moved down the corridor not looking back.

Emilie had left and she claimed that she wouldn't be coming back for a few hours. That was enough time for him to do what he needed to do then settle back down on the couch.

He came back out her room frustrated and more confused than he had been when he entered it. There was nothing of use there either. She either threw away everything that held any significance or didn't keep anything like that at all. He couldn't wrap his head around why.

She had a laptop sitting on the counter that he briefly thought about combing through. Most people put their lives on those but he didn't think that she did. If she didn't keep anything worth looking into in her house then she wouldn't trust a computer to save those mementos either.

There was that photo in her room though.

He backed track to it. It was a photo of a man, who was a few years older than her if he had to guess. He didn't think he was a lover, however. They shared a few significant features that had him leaning more to him being a sibling.

He decided to look more into the photograph and took it out of the frame that she had put it in. There was a year on it that was about ten years ago. There was also a name scribbled on it.

_Ethan, Summer of 2004_

He put the photo back in the frame and sat it back where he found it. He wasn't sure what he could do with that yet, but filed it away for now.

Bucky didn't know what to think of Emilie now. There wasn't much to go on on the surface. She seemed genuinely not afraid of him or completely bothered by the fact that he had a metal arm. However, there was something that he saw that reminded him of well, himself.

The sad disposition that was trying not to make seem like a big deal. He wasn't sure if this was just a mood swing of some kind, but he would watch out for it as long as he was entangling himself in her life. He would try to be in and out of it if he could help it.

A few hours turned into nearly eight.

The first thing she said when she stumbled into the house with what appeared to be a busted up lip and soaked clothes was, "Give me a minute. I need a minute." Before she dropped her bag by the door and rushed through the corridor and into her room.

-x-

It's cold. This is the first thing she feels when she awakes. It takes her longer than usual to want to move even though she knows where she is or why she's there in the first place. She also knows she's not alone. She's not as cold as she should be. There is something else covering her naked skin besides the fluffy towel she had around her middle before she was hit by the trauma again.

She doesn't know how to express to him what had happened or whether thanking him would be better.

Emilie opens her eyes anyways and looks over at him. He's sitting by the sink across from her. One leg bent up, his metal arm thrown over it as he looks at her.  
It takes her another moment to realize just how much of the arm she can see but it doesn't matter really right now. She takes a deep cleansing breath before closing her eyes for a few seconds as she speaks to him. "People think I'm crazy or ill but if I had to tell them that I had a fit in nothing more than a towel while in the company of a trained killer well, they'd still think I'm crazy." She was sitting by the end of her statement and then she was slipping through the door and towards her closet.  
He had come into her en suite when she took too long to come back.

Well, she decided he did want to know what she had found out about him and she couldn't let him wait much longer. So she was quick about pulling on a camisole, an old flannel that belonged to her brother and some denim shorts - all of which were the first decent items of clothes that she could find.

In turn she took a brush through her hair and then headed out to the front of the house which thankfully was where he decided he wanted to be while she was getting dressed.

Bucky could see how shaken up and tired she was but she still had a slight determined feeling to herself as she took her computer and sat at the wooden table that was wedged between the kitchen and the living room. He stood behind her as she booted it up and muttered, "This little drive holds everything I could find on you, The Winter Soldier, and your friend Cap." She waved the little stick in the air for a moment before sticking it in a port on her laptop.

He had been waiting for this all day but something made him want to wait to read about what she had found on him. Call it hesitation, but he had been concerned when he found her convulsing on the linoleum of her bathroom floor.

He had gone into a panic internally. He had never had to deal with a person who did something like that before. He didn't even know what it was exactly.

He moved the laptop away from her. Shutting it first before sliding it to further section of the table. "Hey!" She swiveled around to look at him, glaring partly with a frown on her face. The soldier was quick to follow her movement by caging her in with his arms on each side of the chair. "What the hell was that in your bathroom? It's not normal. I figured you'd be a fairly scared human but you have barely given me anything that read 'I'm fucking scared of you, you filthy assassin'. You said people think you're crazy. Why is that?" He spluttered out.

She swallowed but apart from that she was letting nothing show. "Why does that matter? It's not exactly relevant. I need to show you what I found. That is why you're-," he cut her off by turning her face back to him as she had started looking at her computer as if it would save her from his questions. From his pissed off spouted questions.

"I need to know everything. About you. About me. I cannot be in the dark about it anymore. I think I've had enough for about 70 years."

Emilie licked her lip as she looked at him. She reached for his hand that was still resting against her face. He moved it before she could touch it and she was speaking before he had could do anything to make her talk. He could he knew. He was still in her space. "You don't scare me because I've been around someone like you before but you're nothing like that man. He nearly killed me. You have had plenty of chances to kill me and maybe you will once I give you the information but I'm not afraid of dying. I've already been to hell already."

She can tell he doesn't quite know how to deal with that. He just stares her down another moment before moving back and walking over to where he pushed her laptop and sliding it back to her. He stays over there, turning his back to her. She opens up her laptop and begins opening up the files and arranging them on the screen. This isn't a StarkBook or whatever Tony Stark equivalent there is to her old Gateway but she manages to set it up nicely for him.

"One more thing before you get started..." She waits a minute, waiting for him to give her some kind of sign that he's listening. He gives her a gruff mumble that has no real meaning before she continues on. "What you saw back there is my mind's way of reminding me that I went through it and I still have scar tissue that hasn't healed yet."

His question surprises her. Not just because he's still talking to her but the way he sounds when he says it. "How long has it been since...?" He doesn't have to point out what. She suspects he would like to know what exactly, but she wouldn't even know where to get started on explaining to him how much pain and torture she had experienced.

"Three years next month." She ignores his eyes as they train back on her and she turns the computer so it's angled towards him. She gestures to him to have a go at it.

He takes a seat a few spaces away from her and takes the device closer to him and he just gazes at it. She had set it up so that all he had to do was scroll down the document to read everything that she found. There were hours of reading material.

She moved from where she was sitting in order to go fix her something to eat. She would fix him something too, not that he would be too worried about that when his focus was clearly on learning more about himself. The one thing the paper hadn't said, she had managed to make herself read the short columns that she could while transferring much of the information was how he had ended up losing his life story. They had labeled him as a dangerous man but little else was told.

She had read a few of the articles but had decided that anything else she could ask him later.

There was one thing that she did want to ask him however, "You speak Russian?"

The Soldier for his part was quick and muttered something at her from the table while she made sandwiches in the kitchen. It wasn't English that was clear. "What was that?" She peeked over from inside the kitchen.

He turned, his fingers that were on the keys to control how fast the information slid across the screen for him to read halted as he stared at her. "I said, 'What does this tell you?' Yes. I speak it." Then he turned back to the laptop and resumed reading.

She doesn't know why she asks this of him. Call it curiosity if you will. "Will you teach me some of it?"

He doesn't say anything until she sits a plate well in his reach. "Why?"

She circles back around to get water before sitting in the spot she had been in before. "I'll probably never use it but it couldn't hurt to know a little of another language. You find it useful, don't you?"

His shoulders raise as he shrugs. "I guess. I don't remember how I learned it." He grumbles before reaching for the sandwich that she had left for him. He takes a bite out of it. Stares at what it is, she takes the fact that he takes another bite that he likes it. It's nothing fancy, ham and cheese, tomato and lettuce on wheat with a splash of mayo. A few chips on the side. Not exactly healthy but filling if nothing else. She needs to go shopping on the next spare moment she has.

When he's done, he pushes the plate to the side. She grabs it as she did his coffee cup earlier and heads to the kitchen. She hears a delayed 'thanks' as she passes by him. It makes her smile a little.

The sound of the door jiggling a little makes her stop as she begins to wash the dishes. He's right behind her within a second. "Don't move." She feels the force of his metal hand as he carefully pushes her down onto the ground and then he's out of there. It's much gentler than she figured it would be. He's much more controlled than she thought he would be.

She doesn't know where he is, but she waits to see if whoever it is leaves or gives up. For the life of her she can't figure out who could be at the door. Then the lock unlatches and someone comes in. Her heart is beating in her throat at this point. For the briefest of moments she's wanting to make a dash for the knives in her block. She's good at using them on people who aren't The Winter Soldier, she thinks.

The sound of feet moving sways her attention from the knives before a familiar voice pans through the silence. "What are you doing on the floor? Did you forget that I was bringing the movie over?"

Emilie quickly gets to her feet and runs a hand through her hair as she tries not to look past Greg-comma-Jerry to see if she can find the man who had been so quick to protect her and then run away. She focuses long enough to apologize. "Sorry, it must have slipped my mind. I haven't been feeling all that well and I called in this morning." She lets out a controlled sigh and tries to seem defeated, it's not too hard to do with the way today has gone.

"Damn. I probably should have called. It did worry me not seeing you at work and all. Thought you were just flaking or something. No one actually likes coming in the first of the week." His short cropped hair shakes as he turns all the way around but stops. "We could do this another night, if you prefer?"

"I think that would be best." The half lie sort of spills out of her mouth. She doesn't know what she's doing but she knows that she has to get Jerry out of her house. It isn't clear if the Soldier is even still in here but she'd rather be safe than sorry. "I'm sorry about this again. It's just been a bad few days." Again, she isn't completely lying. Before the man with the metal arm grabbed her last night, there were the slew of days when she felt horrid for several different reasons. It was like the morning picked back up on that.

"It's fine. Give me a call in the morning and let me know how you're feeling."

"Okay." She sniffles, it isn't until then that she realizes just how watery her eyes has gotten. Her chest feels a little tight but she manages to keep it together long enough to hug Jerry at the door.

It shocks her into a staggering sway when she feels something sharp press against her side as Jerry embraces her. There is the sound of glass breaking but after that she blanks.

-x-

Emilie's laughter wasn't comforting to Bucky. He had stayed hidden in her room for only half a minute as they talked but he hadn't felt comfortable in there. In the same way that he didn't feel okay with it when she was changing earlier after her episode in the bathroom. He was careful as he slipped near entrance of the hallway where he could see them closely.

He had noticed the small object in this Jerry's hand right before he embraced her but he was farther away than he needed to be when he plunged it into her skin. He is quick enough to make sure that there isn't too much damage done to her body even when she hits the glass table that is wedged in between the large chair that he liked entirely too much and the other couch that he realized she preferred to sit on. He laid her at an angle that was comfortable before Jerry realized that there was someone else in the room.

He kicked him in the shin as Jerry started to open the door. Bucky had already pulled the knife that he had stowed away in the waist of his pants early on and charging at him. "Who the hell are you?" Jerry asked, eyes wide as he saw the shape of the knife that he had pressed close to his clavicle. The syringe had been dropped when Jerry had let go of Emilie.

Instead of answering him, he decided to just knock him out with a maneuver that he rarely got to use. A part of him hissed because he hadn't coated the floor with the man's blood.

He was supposed to be Emilie's friend. At least that's what it appeared for a brief moment. Whoever this Jerry was, Emilie couldn't be allowed to trust him anymore. He quickly dragged him over to one of the chairs in the room, and finding something to lock him in place before heading back to where the unconscious home owner was. She had definitely harmed herself in some way when she fell back.

He wasn't great at medicine or patch work but he made a judgment call fairly quickly when he realized just how much blood was on the floor and his hands as he checked on her head and the puncture wound that was a little shy of her hip. He knew that it would be weird to explain that he had even touch her in any way that involved lifting up clothes but he had a priority to make sure she didn't die.

It was something he had never experienced before. The want to help someone. He had the urge to kill people (by order and demand). He knew he could have left her there but he had already handled her and if the cops got involved they would find out that he was there. There were already people after him and if she had read even an ounce of the part of the documents that entailed his involvement with the murders that he had committed he didn't understand why she had been so willing to continue to help him.

He ignored the thought for now, as he hoisted her up into his arms and opened the front door. She couldn't stay here. He couldn't do much else here either. He had managed to grab her keys and the flash drive with all his information on it before leaving.

It shouldn't have surprised him that he knew how to drive. At some point, he had to have learned. It was automatic and this tiny part of him was a little shaky as he moved them out of the neighborhood. He had made a note of all the facilities that were important in the D.C. area when he had been searching for an easy way in and out of places.

There was only one place he wanted to go and he would have to enforce some of his training to get inside.

It was easier than he thought it would be as long as he kept his head down and told a few lies.

_"Are you related to her?"_

_"A very distant cousin."_

_"Does she have any family?"_

_"None that she bothers to keep in contact with apart from myself."_

_"We will let you know when you can see her."_

He had nodded, pretended to be distraught by the blood on his hands. Her blood. Then they had let him borrow some clothes from the staff supply. He kept his smiles into polite territory even though he was feeling a little bit more than mischievous. Appearances were everything weren't they?

When they called him back to go see her in recovery Emilie was still asleep as he expected. He had made a small trip back to her house for a small bag of things that held her necessities in it and to have a talk with Jerry Greg as he learned was his full name. He was still alive when he left him a few blocks over.

He was usually less controlled when it came to his marks. He couldn't afford to be reckless. As a rule for Emilie's sake he kept the bulk of it out of her house. It looked just like it did when they entered it minus the dishes and a broken chair. She'd be able to go back to it in a few days when she was better.

He had gotten enough out of him to be useful for whatever Emilie decided she wanted to do. He decided to try to distance himself from her. He only known her a day and he had already nearly gotten her in some deep shit. Greg Jerry, Jerry Greg – whatever the hell the guy's name was as he suspected someone who had been approached about finding out information from Emilie about his whereabouts. He had done it for money, of course.

He couldn't have done it for love or something cliché like that. Sometimes he hated people for reasons that didn't involve dossiers or illegal acts but this was fairly close to that if he had to guess. It did remind him that he was about to give the woman a reason to actually be scared of him. He also seemed to realize that she might find a way to twist it into a positive light. There was something the guy had said just before he dragged him out of the house that made him think that Emilie had a different perspective on things than normal people were supposed to view things.

" _She kind of gives you this look sometimes that make you want to protect her from getting treated wrong again. You just met her but she slips up sometimes and you just know that she's been in some shit that she hasn't properly dealt with. Fucks her up. You've got that look too but it's different. You're not Emilie._ "

It made him think very briefly about why he was going so far to protect someone he only knew for 24 hours.

He sat with her and was there when she woke up all of six times. Each time she was spluttering about something very difficult for him to stomach. The last time featured her waking up choking on air. He moved to focus her this time. All the other five times he was quiet as he listen to her until she rolled back over and slept. It was almost time for him to leave. Visiting hours only lasted so long but he was going to stay. He knew a way.

He used his right hand to touch her cheek. "Hey." He sighed.

She looked like she was crying. She wasn't but her eyes were really watery and she took in shallow breaths as she looked around a bit before she looked at him. "Where am I?" She asked quietly. There was this look about her that made him think about what Jerry had said, and what she had been spouted out to him.

"The hospital." He cleared his throat, unsure how to begin to start discussing what she had relayed to him in her half drugged self.

He moved away from her slightly as she tried to sit up but he pushed her back down. "No. Don't move."

His words seem to trigger something in her. "Shit. Jerry was there. What happened to Jerry?"

Bucky sat back a second. He knew he had to tell her what he had done but perhaps he should tell her slowly. "He sedated you. You hit your head on the table, lost a bit of blood. Does your head hurt?"

His throat was starting to hurt from how much talking he was doing. He didn't talk. Not The Soldier. He wanted to put her worries to the side for a moment. This wasn't something he was comfortable with doing at all.

"Not as much as the rest of my body. Thanks for making me stay put." She looked around to the other side of the room for a moment as if thinking there was something there before turning back to Bucky. "I feel like crap."

He nodded. "A very heavy sedative. High grade military kind of stuff, he was supplied with it."

"Who could give that to him? We do temp work. We don't have access to that kind of stuff." She closed her eyes for a moment and he decided that she was either struggling with staying awake or was in pain. Or it could have been something mentally going on that dealt with how she had woken up.

He decided to leave it for now. He needed to explain a few things to her.

"Someone wanted him to find information from you. I suspect it was about my whereabouts. The vial that he used was something I've seen before."

"With HYDRA?" She rolled her head back over in his direction blinking rapidly to try to focus on what he was saying.

"Or SHIELD." He nodded.

"Do you hate them too? I get why HYDRA…" She stopped for a full second, shutting her eyes again and he watched her swallow slowly. "SHIELD wasn't bad before, or they weren't supposed to be."

He was really distracted by her reactions. It wasn't the subject matter at all. So, he made it the subject. "You said some things."

"When?" She nearly bolted right up as she jerkily answered. He folded his arms as he leaned against the wall that was closest to where she was laying.

"You woke up a few times."

"Don't remember. It wasn't important." He could see the way she was starting to shrink up and shut down. It gave him this small flash of a memory. A woman who he mirrored in a way. The quiet smile that she gave a younger version of him as the drip in a hospital room that was much smaller than the one he was sitting in currently. She was in pain but she smiled and reassured him that all would be well.

He tried to keep the flinch out of Emilie's line of sight. He itched to scratch at his head. It made him feel a little fuzzy but he pushed through it to negate her claim. "This Luke person…" He began only for her to stare at him with this look on her face. This was the look Jerry was referring to. It was full of fear, and hate and death. It was pathetic and all-consuming and desperate for him to stop. Stop probing into matters that didn't concern him.

His tongue glossed over his bottom lip as he waited.

"Please. Stop." Her words were slow and quiet in a slight slur that all came from the drugs that she had been sedated with. She wasn't bad off but there had been blood and they had been thorough. He had checked over her head while she was unconscious. He didn't trust them. He didn't trust anyone really.

"What did he **do** to you?" He grunted as he caught her eyes again.

Emilie realized that it wasn't asked in a sympathetic tone. The Soldier was anything but sympathetic to anyone. He had a list of things that he had endured that he could recollect that was far worse than anything than anyone else had ever experienced. He did feel a little shot of something in his chest as he watched as she pulled at her hair as she sat with her legs propped up close to her chest. She was so quiet that she frightened him.

It was a different kind of fear. She was in pain but it wasn't anything that could be easily fixed. Especially not by him. He didn't even know what he was doing here. Why he was trying to be as close to a friend as he could to Emilie. He didn't know where the instant need to comfort came from.

Was that Bucky's natural reaction to people who he cared for being in turmoil? He had a flash drive in his pocket that contained more information on who that man was and who the person he was as the Soldier but it would never tell him how to handle things like this. It would never make it easier for him to stand idly by and not be able to be sure how to proceed with the emotions. He had been turned off for decades.

He was screwed up and he knew he was the last person to need to try to offer advice. So he didn't even try but he kept his eye on her as she trembled and shook and wept before finding a slight amount composure and answering his question. It was quicker than he thought it should be, the swift transition from broken to okay. She was easy to confide in a man who knew little about himself and that was probably the tell-tale of why he was here.

" _I don't know anymore._ "

She had looked at him as she said it. Eyes swollen and all, with that look on her face that was supposed to make him feel something. Against his better judgment he did feel something. Something earth shattering and numbing that he couldn't put an emotion to. It was just there just as he was looking in from the outside.

He offered no words of apologies for what she had endured, or what she still held onto from whatever had happened to her – she had given him small details, as he grabbed the chair that was against the wall. He had been sitting in it for a couple of hours. He turned it around so the back of it was facing the bed as he drew it closer to the side of the bed and sat on it with his arms thrown across the back as he sat with her.

If he were to sleep he knew that he would hear her cries. They reminded him of something from far away.

For now he wouldn't think. He would focus on the details of what she would share with him. He was offering the chance.

"Remember what I said. I don't want to be in the dark anymore."

Emilie watched him as she wiped her face and tried to regain some of her dignity after having a complete breakdown just from Bucky speaking a name. She took a few breaths as she weighed her choices. He wasn't going to get up and leave her currently, she realized. He wanted to know her pain for some reason. She didn't think they were linked in any fashion. That's not what this was about and she couldn't bring herself to think that he was doing this out of the decency of his heart.

The Soldier, the one that tried to kill Steve Rogers and brought down a large security operation under orders was at the forefront but she think she could see someone else peeking through.

He was doing more than he was trained to do. He had protected her, he got her to a safe place when he weighed his own options and chose to get her out of it alive with minimal scarring. He could have left her but he didn't. She would take that as a small gift.

She owed him.

"Okay," She croaked. She rocked a little in the bed as she tucked her legs closer to her body. "I want something in return."

He was silent but he was listening, his eyes flashed for just a second. She could see the glint of his metal arm in contrast with the scrubs he was wearing. They looked odd on him but she supposed her brother's clothes had gotten bloodied when he had carried her.

"You have to tell me what happened to Jerry. I know I shouldn't care, he was going to torture me I guess."

She waited. There was a few solid moments of silence before he broke it with his one word answer. "Fine."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little more for you. Did I say little? Oops. Hope you like the second half. The third part is a bit of a doozy ;)

**2/3**

Bucky had disappeared before she could even begin telling him anything. She didn’t understand at first why. He had even moved the chair back to its place against the wall. He hadn’t gone anywhere exactly, just into the only other room that was within her room. The bathroom that had a lock. She thought at first he really had to use the bathroom but then the door into her room opened and a nurse came in. Then it hit her, it was past visiting hours and he had been trying to stay with her when he wasn’t supposed to be there.

She kept her focus on the nurse who checked her vitals one last time and gave her two ibuprofens for her head before leaving her to rest for the night. She had kept it together up until the point it was completely dark in and outside of the room. She hadn’t even heard him at first until he made a noise of clearing his throat to let her know he was back beside her.

Emilie tried not to grin. He was sharp and would more than likely notice it. So, she began talking quietly just in case there were guards or something milling around. She was supposed to be asleep or trying to sleep. She didn’t think she would be able to even if she didn’t have a bodyguard of sorts in her presence.

“Its weird thinking that I was grabbed close to the same manner as you grabbed me last night. He was quick and rough and full of himself even in the first couple days when I was locked away starving and having no idea how I could possibly get myself in a situation of first being kidnapped. I was just getting off of work. I had only been working as a temp for a couple months and I was doing okay. I was stable enough financially that I wasn’t too worried then about much. Then well I was taken and I could probably tell you specifics about the things that he did but it wouldn’t really matter. He tortured me along with two other girls who were much younger than me. He’d take turns with who he messed with. For two weeks I didn’t even see him but he had friends who would bring food in for us to eat. It wasn’t anything special but I learned early not to eat any of it.

It was drugged as was the water that was supposed to help keep us hydrated. It was like prep for the hard months that I was going to endure when he killed the first girl. She was only maybe sixteen if not younger. She was from out of town and it was still horrible. He made us watch her die after he had beat her so badly.

Eventually I was on my own.” She sighed. Her hands covering her face for a moment as she tried to will herself to make it through the next part. This was the worst of it and he had to know that. “It’s nearly the normal story of how someone gets through being kidnapped and torture except I don’t think most people plan to get out in the way that I did. I learned how useful those instruments he used on me were when he wasn’t using them on me. He was distracted actually at the time. I had been preparing myself for a little while. I honed on his behavior and little tics that would give me a little time to get my weapon of choice which isn’t even all that lethal. It was just a little blade – or of those surgical tools. Not a scalpel I can’t remember what it was but when he got close enough I drove into his side. He was pissed and tried to get it from me even when he was bleeding. I think that’s when I got mad. Not in the ‘I’m angry because Luke had taken a lot from me’ but in the way that I just wanted to end this and try to find a way out of this. Alive.

So I just kept at it but it wasn’t easy. He was stronger and quicker but I had a lot of pent up exertion to get out and he eventually couldn’t move. Then I got out of there. Someone found me about two acres away. He lived in the country with fields and all that. Typical spot for someone who wants to keep things private. I was huddled in a little ball and there was so much blood that they nearly put me in a psych ward until I mentioned the house and what I had done. I couldn’t say what happened for a long time and I don’t go talking about it.” She stops for a second, looking over in Bucky’s direction.

“I told you that they think I’m mad in the head a little bit. It’s because the only thing people know or like to connect my time in that place was that I killed a man. There were photos leaked from the crime scene. Such horrible things. I couldn’t get away from it for a long time. I couldn’t go outside because there was such backlash from it. Not because it was out of self-defense but because I wasn’t supposed to be like that. I kept to myself long before there was Luke but this was so much worse. There was so much coverage of it. It was screwed and complicated and dark but I did what I had to do, but it’s not something easy to forget or let go of. Those are two years I can’t get back but it happened. That’s it, I guess.” Emilie finished quietly.

Bucky sat there as she finished it and he knew there were things that she didn’t say. Things she couldn’t possibly say when she was awake but she had when she was drowsy and not all there before. He wouldn’t tell her that she had shared specifics. He kept that locked somewhere to assess later.

This hadn’t been easy for her. Sharing this piece of her life. It was something that a part of her seemed to swat away as if it was just like those other stories that people had lived but with that there was something distressing about it. It changed her way of viewing things and he couldn’t figure out why completely yet. He decided not to press it yet, she had given him a foot. They could walk the mile later if necessary.

“Jerry died by my hands.” He started after a long pause. He tilted his head so that she could see his face in the small light from the window. He wanted her to see this part of him. “I tortured him like Luke tortured you but in a more visceral way that was easy. I had my reason for doing so. There are no orders anymore on my side but it felt better to get rid of him than for him to do more damage to either one of us. He isn’t that important. He did it for the money. Money that he didn’t need.”

“How do you know?” She asked him.

“His bank statement that he had tucked in his wallet for some reason. He had over five thousand dollars in his savings.” He watched as her eyes widened fractionally and the way she swallowed. “He was willing to toss you over to be dissected like a lab rat just for a measly two thousand.”

“You think they would have dissected me?” Her voice changed a little as fear crept in.

“In some way. Yes. These are people who want to drag me back to do more ‘good work’. If they knew that you knew even a fraction about me or what I am planning to do then they would take everything from you even if it’s small. It’s no comparison to what happened to you while in Luke’s company.”

Emilie was quiet for a second as she thought about what he said. She was grateful he hadn’t told her any details about his slaughtering a man she thought was her friend. One of her only friends, really. It did confuse her why he did it. She knew what he told her was one of the reasons. He was in no way trying to get in her good graces. She figured it was an impulse for him to just get rid of anyone who stood in his way for his mission.

It bothered her a little but she still didn’t think he was a horrible person. It was about survival and she seemed to factor into that.

“What do you want to do next?” She asked him.

He looked confused for about half a second as he blinked at her. He shifted slightly in his seat and drew back so that he was out of her immediate line of sight. “You are not obligated to help me.”

“Who else is itching to help a trained killer these days? Regardless, you aren’t bothering me in anyway.”

He took another moment.

“When we get you out of here I need to finish looking over these files. Then we can go from there.” She could hear the strain in his voice that was meddled with the confusion. Emilie didn’t think he was used to be partnering with anyone who wasn’t handing him a gun or aiding him and getting to a mark. He had been silent and isolated for so long that dealing with someone like her wasn’t exactly easy for him.

Noon the following day, Bucky had managed to slip out of the room for two hours to change clothes and buy a decent cup of coffee at Emilie’s insistence that he get out of her room and walk around for a little while. He managed a two block radius window where he took to walking around for about forty five minutes before doubling back to the entrance to pop in and say hello to his ‘cousin’.

The nurses had figured that he had left the last night but of course he hadn’t. He was polite again, as he thanked them for looking after her before entering her room. She was reading a book that he taken off her nightstand seeing as she seemed to be in the middle of reading it before all hell broke loose.

She closed the book after a few minutes. She was getting ready to tell him something when the sound of glass shattering broke both of their concentration and Bucky was unhooking her from the IV – yanking it out of her hand causing her to scream. He covered her mouth as the sound of feet in the hallway thundered. They sounded like boots.

He had her in his arms quickly. He grabbed her bag and moved towards the window without second thought. Across the way there was a scope in view, and he cursed. The footsteps were getting closer and there was only one way out of this.

Down.

He looked at Emilie who looked a little rattled but rather calm about this whole thing. “Don’t let go.” He instructed her before he jumped out. They fell all of the ten feet with a slight pause.

Bucky wasn’t moving at first. Emilie realized that she could hear his breaths coming in short and close together. He was stuck in a panic, she realized.

Was it the jump or the heights?

She couldn’t decipher at first but she acted fast even with his arms basically crushing her against him. “Hey Barnes, you’re okay. We made it on the ground without dying. This isn’t like before.” She remembered that that was how he died, falling from a train. She nearly cursed herself for forgetting that.

He had seemed so sure at first about it (them jumping to the ground like it was nothing), that it had slipped her mind that he was scared of it repeating itself. Forget the fact that he wasn’t alone in the fall this time. She wasn’t exactly important or necessary but he had pulled her with him to keep her out of harm’s way. Just like he had the day before after she had hit her head.

She could feel the increased rhythm of his pulse as she lifted her body up carefully so that she could touch his face. “Barnes,” She decided that that’s what she felt comfortably calling him. “I’m right here. You need to breathe. In out, in out. You’re on the ground and safe and I’m not going to leave you. There’s guns and men in uniform and we need to move, do you hear me? We have to move.” She wasn’t sure if that was still true but that seemed to trigger him to at least open his eyes and look at her. His eyes were so strange now. She hadn’t paid too much attention half the time to it because they usually weren’t talking or he wasn’t facing her completely as she talked at him.

Sometimes she thought she saw death in his eyes but right now she saw the image of a little boy. He was utterly petrified. It lasted for a few long moments before he blinked and looked around. He didn’t say anything as he swung her around so that she was hanging on his back almost like an old rag doll. It took her twice as fast to click onto the fact that he was ready now. She didn’t know if he was okay really but she was willing to hold on as tight as she can until they got where they needed to be going.  He was quiet as he held her legs in place making sure they were secure as she tightened her arms around his neck. Her breath was fanning across his shoulder as she tried to look at his face but he kept his head down as he took a few steps. It lasted until they got to the corner where there was barely anyone.

Then he started running again.

She didn’t hear anything but the wind for a little while. He didn’t talk and neither did she but he was moving and she supposed that counted for something. They just kept moving and even when she was tired of holding onto him like that she felt a familiar calmness run through her. She had helped him a little and that resonated in a way that she liked.

He stopped when they found a rest stop that was in the lower district of the city. There were a few trucks there but no one paid them much mind as he handed her the bag which she hadn’t realized he had even grabbed before their mad dash out the window - and pushed her into the restroom so she could change into actual clothes. She was still in her hospital gown. She stopped, hoping that no one could see too much of her as they were escaping. That made her very conscious and uncomfortable.

Emilie slipped right in and took a brief moment to look at herself in the mirror. She thanked her mom for not giving her the long tresses that she knew that she could have. Her hair was wind swept and a bit frizzy but some water and she’d be able to brush it down enough for it to be presentable.

She got dressed in one of the stalls first. He had packed a few things for her. Shorts, shirts, jeans, shoes varying from flip flops and tennis shoes. Then there were her under garments which were rather plain for a woman her age. She hadn’t exactly been trying to impress anyone so she wasn’t that annoyed that he had rifled through her selection and picked out some of her favorite pieces.

She decided on a pair of jeans, a grey camisole and her jean jacket would do well. Then she exited the stall to wet her hair and face and make quick work of the brush through her hair. Before joining Bucky again she tossed her hospital gown in the trash not thinking she wanted to carry that around.

When Bucky spotted her coming out, he walked straight over to her. He had moved away from the door over to a small pillar that was by a trash bin and had leant against it as he waited. A man had offered him a smoke and he had thought about it minutely but decided against it. He didn’t think he needed anything that could affect his stamina not that with that serum it would.

They began walking again side by side this time taking a round trip to her house. It wasn’t until they were safely inside that words were exchange. Bucky being the first one. “Thanks.” He muttered.

She didn’t asked what, she just smiled before sitting on the sofa for a few minutes. Bucky had gone for her laptop that had been left in her room. She noticed that the table that she had fell into was gone leaving a void in between the space that separated the chair and sofa.

It was then that blurry images flitted through her mind. She pressed her hand against her temple cautiously not because it hurt though there was that, it was hitting her all at once. It started with Jerry talking to her as normal. He hugged her and then the pain that burst through her skull as she fell back. She blinked before deciding that she couldn’t sit still right now. She felt shaky and angry and nervous but not because this had happened in her home but because she didn’t know why she had been so oblivious that it was at the time that it did.

She joined Bucky at the table by a way of standing near him but far away that she wasn’t too close to him. “There’s a chair missing.” She mumbled.

“It broke.” He stated.

It was at that moment that she realize that it had been here that Bucky had done some of the damage to Jerry. She didn’t move for a few moments, unsure if she wanted to know or not. She decided it was better if she didn’t and took the few steps to the kitchen and then she saw that something else was missing.

“My knives…” Two of them to be exact were missing from their slots on the knife block.

She didn’t hear him come up behind her but heard him when he spoke to her, “I took them with me when I disposed of Jerry. They’re gone. Sorry.” He wasn’t apologizing for doing what he did (Killing Jerry) but for the knives. He realized that she liked them. They were special for some reason.

“It’s okay.” She moved away from him with a slight brush of his shoulder with the movement while bending down under one of the cabinets at the floor level and pulled out another block that had a similar set of knives. “I have another set. Don’t go stealing them. I thought you had your own?” She gave him a look that he seemed to get as he let a slight smile slip onto his face.

She set the incomplete set in the cabinet where the other ones were as she swapped them out.

“A matter of convenience.” He coughed. Then he turned back around to go back to the laptop.

An hour passed slowly with no new turn of events. Emilie was curious about if she was truly safe here after their drop from out of the hospital room which was supposed to be a safe place. Bucky didn’t seem to be on edge about anything. That didn’t say much about how he felt about it. He had been concerned about finishing the rest of the information she had found out on him. She didn’t tell him how she had come across it, he hadn’t asked and she realized that this was something that he needed. Something he wanted more than anything else.

This was one of the signs that she had read on him immediately in the alley. Desperation. It was sometimes stronger than any other motion, and she got it. She had once been desperate too.

He joined her after a little while, sitting down in the chair and leaning forward with his hands linked and holding up his head. He sat there for a few minutes with his eyes closed. “Was that everything?” He asked quietly when he was ready to talk.

“Everything that I had access to. I’m sure there is more but I think that was a lot for anyone to find given the fact that Natasha Romanov had leaked nearly all of it a few days ago. Do you want to find more?”

He waved a hand. “Later. Thank you.” Emilie had this weird itch to smile a lot in his company. She knew it wasn’t because he was a warm person. He had small moments but it was the inflection in his voice most of the time or the way he reacted to her that made her want to smile not only at him but because of him. She tried to keep a lid on it though. She didn’t know if it was doing any good.

There was a small breath of silence before Bucky asked her a question she hadn’t really begun to think about. “What are your plans now?”

“Is it safe here?” She felt like she had to ask before she could even begin to answer his question.

“I don’t think they want to have to kill an entire street of people just to find one person. They might but I’m prepared to do what I have to.”

“Which is what?”

He gave her a look. Did she really want to know the answer to that question? She had danced around the idea of probing for more details about what happened to Jerry. However, now she wanted to know what his plans were. For him, a lot of what he could do weighed on whether if he would be on his own. Emilie wasn’t anything special and he knew that but he realized that he could trust her.

“Privet menya a zovut Emili.”

This was the first time he could see that she was visibly shocked by him. There was slight confusion there as well and he tried not to smile when she stuttered through a small exclamation of, “What? What was that?”

“That’s how you introduce yourself in Russian. Specifically I said ‘Hello, my name is Emilie’. You said you wanted me to teach you a little…” He tilted his head to the side as he looked at her.

“Can you say it again?”

He did and he shared a few of the bare minimum of phrases that one should know if they just wanted to know a little. He tried not to get too irritated or laugh at her attempts at mimicking the dialect over dinner which was only tomato soup and toast. It would have been better with grilled cheese but Emilie needed to make a grocery run because she was out of cheese. Bucky didn’t mind. It was still just as good.

She managed a nearly full sentence in Russian by the end of the night when they were curled up on the chair and couch.

He could tell that she wasn’t sure if she should go to her room tonight. She told him that she wasn’t scared of him and had even went out of her way to make sure he didn’t die or hurt himself when he went into a panic when they hit the ground earlier, but she didn’t know what was out there. What could come inside when she was sleeping and too far away from the trained assassin who decided on staying for at least another couple of days.

She was safe in here with him. Emilie knew that.

Before she fell asleep for the night she answered his question. The one that she hadn’t answered yet. “I’ll take a few weeks off from work. They’ll expect me to be grieving the loss of my friend. Two weeks is enough time for that.” Then she turned away from his lingering eyes and fished around for the sleep that she so desperately needed even still.

Bucky stayed up thinking about what had happened since coming into the company of Emilie Timothy. He had grabbed her first and she had willing helped him without any scare tactics or threats being thrown about. He hadn’t even done any late night recon on her, not as much as he would anyone else. It had just been an in the moment decision and he thought about that now with everything that he had learned about her. Things that she discussed with him and things he had saw on her when she was avoiding his gaze or pretending that he wasn’t there. She wasn’t afraid of him or his arm – it could be used against her but because of the situation a few years ago she wasn’t batting a lash at it. The fact that she was able to throw a knife and it have a possibility of hitting him if he wasn’t who he was was also something to think about.

It made him think that perhaps he didn’t have to protect her. He already knew that she knew how to kill a man but he could teach her a little more for when he wasn’t there. He would leave sooner rather than later but there was something about lingering for a little bit longer and having the time to really decide what he wanted to do next that made him stay put for now.

He couldn’t go back to HYDRA. That was never going to be an option. He hadn’t thought too much about going to SHIELD or what was left of it after the fall of the Triskelion and the supposed death of the director both interim and Nick Fury. He hadn’t been able to read much on that. Emilie had been targeting matters that focused on him specifically and had to figure that he had known that the man was still dead. This also had him thinking about the man in the blue and red uniform.

Steve Rogers.

Captain America as he was called.

He didn’t know what he was going to do about him. He had failed to kill him as he was ordered to. Then there was the idea that they had been best friends from a young age. He could remember bits and pieces of it. Steve had been puny in the memories that were slipping through the void of darkness. How had he become this version?

The data told him that he had been shot up with the Super Soldier serum before he was.

He paused as he thought about this. He wasn’t around when Steve was injected with it. So where had he been?

There were a lot of holes. It frustrated him.

He ran his hands roughly through his hair before standing up and walking the perimeter of the room. He was pacing and he didn’t like that. There was nothing that he could do about this. Sleep wouldn’t help. Waking Emilie wouldn’t either, though he would prefer if he didn’t have to suffer in silence like this. It was maddening.

Emilie was fairly smart as far as he could tell. She had known what to do when he was frozen like stone in his boots. She managed to try to talk her way out of having to deal with someone who didn’t have her best interest in heart not that she had been exactly aware at the time. He still gave her points for that.

And now, he was sure she’d be able to help.

-x-

“Why not just find Steve?” She said.

Maybe he was wrong. He wasn’t putting too much belief in her. She wasn’t extraordinary as she told him before. She was ordinary. She had a boring job which she had taken two weeks off to aid him in ways that it was clear that she had no idea about.

He just stared at her as she ate a breakfast burrito that she had went to get from a vendor a couple blocks away. She planned to go to the market and get food later and even asked if he liked to join so he wouldn’t have to stay here and do more waiting. He was thinking about it. He would have to make sure his arm was covered with something.

She had bought him one of those large burritos as well but he wasn’t all that hungry. Not true really. He just wasn’t as hungry as he felt was needed in order for him to consume something so large. “I’ll save it for you for later if you want it.” She mumbled as she finished hers and put his in the refrigerator.

He caught a whiff of something when she turned away, stopping him as he turned to go and wait for her by the door. They were going to try to beat the crowd. On a weekend people shopped apparently. It wasn’t something he ever did while out on missions.

It was a sweet scent, vanilla and sugar. She hadn’t handled that today so she sprayed something on. Wasn’t something he remembered on any girl he took out back in the 40s. He remembered dating quite a few people. No names but the women were beautiful and eager to be at his side.

It was an interesting contrast to how they cowered from him now. Emilie didn’t cower. She was an odd kind of breed. He wasn’t fond of the fact that he kept comparing her to someone or something that he knew of from his past. It was only because she was the only one around to hold his attention.

“I was joking about finding Steve. I think he’d be trying to lay low after getting pummeled by you.” She smiled at him. A smirk surfaced on his face just before she tossed something at him. “They should fit. Sorry, I don’t have anything more manly.” She giggled.

Bucky looked at the fabric as it fell off his face into his hands. One single glove that was black of course. He was already sporting a pair of jeans and a navy blue button up with short sleeves. What he held was something that had to come from Emilie’s own collection. He looked at it with a look of distain for half a second before slipping it on anyway. “Thanks.” He grunted, and gave her a very annoyed look. It was long enough and fit but they would have to find something for him later.

“Sure.” She mumbled as she pulled the door open and stepped outside with him following behind her. She locked the door before they began their journey along the sidewalk. “It isn’t that far away. Rather close to the little place I got our-my breakfast from.” She paused watching as he stowed his gloved hand in the pockets of his jeans. “Anyway, I think it would be good to eventually seek out Cpt. Rogers. He has to know more about you than anyone these days. I certainly only know very little. I didn’t read much as I was Googling – that’s a search engine that is used to look up anything you need to know about anything.”

Emilie was aware there were a lot of things that he didn’t know of due to his memory wipes and the time allotted for him to do what he had to do with HYDRA and for them. “It’s certainly better than BING, also a search engine but I prefer the wonders of Google. Sometimes it makes me laugh though.” She coughed, realizing she was getting off topic. “You’re from New York, I’m from Pittsburg actually but I moved to D.C. when I decided to go to college. I don’t really think it’s necessary to have a degree to be a temp but that’s not what I got my major in.”

“What did you want to do then?”

She was surprised that he was actually wanting to know. She supposed since she had shared something rather heavy with him just a night or two ago that that might help but she couldn’t have known if he really wanted to know anything else about her. “Teach actually, little children and I was offered something just before the Luke thing happened but it was as if it no longer existed after you’re painted as a killer. Unfair, I guess but maybe I’ll try again someday.” She shrugged as they turned their third corner. “Here we are.”

The market was a small vendor’s district where there was enough natural product to feed a few small armies. That’s one of the reasons she liked it. There was something about the people too that made her happy. She picked things up as she went asking Bucky at times if he had ever had any of these. Most of the time he wouldn’t answer but he stuck close to her and watched the people as they weaved through it. Bucky had eventually taken the bags from Emilie as she searched for her wallet to give the money to the man who was in charge. Usually you paid people individually for their goods but this market was different. It would all be given to them eventually, she knew. Plus she tipped when she could.

Today, she just wanted to get in and out though she did talk to a few people as they called her name surprising Bucky as he turned this way as she guided him by arm over to them. She would introduce them and Bucky would be pleasant for Emilie’s sake knowing this was a part of her life even if this would be the only time that he would see these faces. It was refreshing. He had never been introduced to so many people at once and for them to smile at him with true glee of meeting his acquaintance. It was shocking.

So, he asked her on their way back home with a malt shake as a treat (her words, not his) on their way back to her house.

This was familiar.

“Are they always that nice?”

“I’m a regular.” She commented as she took a sip of her malt.

“Doesn’t mean they have to be so pleasant?”

“You don’t like it?” She gestured to his shake.

Bucky hadn’t even realized he hadn’t taken a sip of it yet. He did then as she watched and then he just stopped mid-step causing her to take a few steps back so that she could stay with him.

It wasn’t a normal type of halt. He just stopped, the drink falling to the ground as he seemed to be locked in something only he could see. Emilie decided that perhaps she didn’t need to touch him. Let whatever it was that he was experiencing ride out on his own. 

It took a few long short minutes but when he did he touched his head.

“What was it?” She asked as he apologized for dropping the drink that she had bought for him even though he didn’t asked for it. She was constantly doing something like that for him. He realized that first she didn’t get opportunities like this and second she wanted to. Like those people he met, she genuinely had a kind heart it was just rotten with the pain of what had happened to her. She didn’t give up though.

“They remind me of the ice cream my mother used to make. Tastes almost the same. I remember her more than I do Steve.” He confesses quietly as he tightens his hold on the bag that he’s holding for her.

“Your mother was very important to you.”

“He was too, apparently.”

She nodded. “I understand. I never had that though, you know. A friend that I would do anything for.”

He’s silent as they walk the rest of the way. Is that who he is to Steve Rogers? Someone worth sacrificing your own life for? Is that why he let his shield drop so quickly when they were alone on the helcarrier.

_“I’m not going to fight you.”_

Why he let him hurt him so much that he had to drag him out of the water? Something ached in his chest just thinking of that moment. There was a reason why he saved him. He just wasn’t sure what it was yet. He only knew Steve couldn’t die, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t be the one to kill him. There had been something holding him from completing his mission. He knew him. Emilie was right.

He’s the piece that’s missing.

/

 

Its three days into his stay with Emilie and a small routine has started. They have breakfast where he sometimes partakes in actually eating. He eats most at dinner. Emilie says it’s him working up to eating what he hasn’t all day. She goes out to run before dinner which he doesn’t get since she’ll just be eating the burnt off calories.

“I don’t do it to stay in shape.” She tells him when he tells her that. She also shoots him a look which makes him believe that there was something bad about what he said and the way he said it. His tone almost never changed, it stayed neutral and never swayed by the words that slipped off his tongue. “It’s fun for me.”

“You often come in out of breath. How is that considered fun?”

She sighs. She doesn’t know if this is how he gets his amusement by mocking her or if he really doesn’t understand people that much. She wonders how different he would be if he still retained his persona of Bucky and not this other thing that he is. “Barnes,” She calls as she runs hands through her hair and trying very hard not to glare at him. “I push myself a little hard on the last mile that doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun.”

“Why do you call me that?” He finally asked her. He knew that it was a part of his name but why didn’t she just call him James or Bucky. Why go for his last name out of all the parts. It was just odd.

Emilie rolls her eyes at him before answering. She’s honestly surprised he hasn’t asked her this before. Then again he isn’t much for talking if it something that involves him. He keeps it all locked away for another time when he has something he think will benefit him more. That’s when they have deep discussions about what can be done or if it’s something that can’t be controlled.

“Well, Bucky I feel it’s Steve’s nickname for you so it makes me uncomfortable to even think about calling you that. James – your first name is too damn formal so I just can’t do it. I’d call you Jim or Jimmy but knowing you you would probably want to punch me in the face if I even tried. Besides it doesn’t suit you.”

“Barnes does?” His eyes are wide showcasing how bewildered he is by this but she can tell that he wants to get to the bottom of this.

“For me, I guess it does. In the military it’s what you would be referred as. No one would be itching to call you Bucky if they weren’t Steve. Barnes is a mouthful and strange and I like it. Just deal with it okay.”

He realized that one of the things that he liked about Emilie Timothy was that sometimes she said things that no one else would say to him. She wouldn’t backtrack to conserve his feelings. This subject wasn’t something that could hurt him exactly but he realized that it was something that he could link to hurt. He didn’t like talking about Steve but it was something that was necessary. Emilie knew that better than he did. It was the same reason why at times she would start sharing a small piece of what happened when she was with Luke.

Luke and Steve were nowhere near the same person but the fact that had both had to urge to kill them for reasons that were wrong tugged at something inside him. Emilie killed Luke because he was going to kill her and she was afraid. Bucky would have killed Steve if he hadn’t slipped through his hands and given him a reason not to. The reason that he was still toying with. Little pieces coming to his head to make the guilt and anger he felt about it less prominent.

His nightmares were delayed much longer than they were supposed to be. He didn’t understand that it was happening until he felt something soft brushing hair from his brow and he had grabbed them and tossed them under him choking them in the process. It took him a good short minutes first realize that the eyes were not of any enemy he had seen before and the solid hand that was grasping at his shirt was weak and feminine and posed no danger to him. He let her go before rolling off onto the floor beside the sofa.

Emilie didn’t leave him to rot in his misery. He was processing what he felt and what he experienced subconsciously when he felt her hand in his hair again and she had angled her body so that she could talk to him quietly even though there was no one else there beside the two of them.

“So, that’s what that arm can do?” She was trying to joke with him but he wasn’t in the mood. If he had squeezed any tighter or held on for any longer he would have killed her. It didn’t sit well with him.

It wasn’t because he cared about her. He didn’t fully understand her enough to say that he felt any certain way about her, but this wasn’t something he felt was welcomed.

“Sorry…” He choked keeping his eyes trained on his hands. The metal one more so than the flesh. It had been an automatic reaction to someone touching him and what was happening while he slept. The anger boiling along with the gesture that he wasn’t sure was real. He just snapped.

“You don’t react to touch well.” She continued, drawing back her hand. He could feel her legs as they swung beside his right side so that they were touching the floor. He couldn’t see her but he could feel the movements in his back as she shifted on the couch. A small groan leaving her lips as she stretched and then she was standing up.

He had woken her up. She had taken to going back to bed in her room two days ago – four days since the incident. Nearly a week had passed since he had to escape from the hospital and it was quiet. It shouldn’t have been this quiet. He didn’t like it.

“Something’s wrong.” She told him. “Not with me, with you. You seem off balance. Not that I know you.” She added as she ruffled his hair again causing him to look up at her. She moved away and towards the kitchen. She was still talking as she did, making her voice louder just in case he didn’t want to come in the kitchen with her.

“I’ve been thinking about hunting down Steve but --- oh shit.” She stopped suddenly and that was what seemed to truly wake him up and he was standing across from her on the opposite side of the island.

“What?” He sounded on edge and he knew that. She had already said she thought there was something wrong with him already. It was different though. She had caused him to go into a panic, worrying that something had happened but she was looking at a calendar.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” She turned to him smiling a little when she saw the expression on his face. He looked worried for her, but it dropped.

“Tell me.” He commanded and she just rolled her eyes at him.

“I forgot about this family thing that’s supposed to happen on Monday. They’re supposed to be coming over and I’m going to cook and stuff.” She rubbed the back of neck for a moment and he zoned on her neck seeing that it was already starting to bruise. She was fragile.

He blinked, backtracking to what she said. “Besides your brother, I didn’t know you had any family.”

“How did you know about my brother?”

He just stared at her. She isn’t his mark but he had to find something out about her.

“You went into my room. God, do you know what an invasion of privacy is?”

“First, you have nothing on the walls of your house and I had to get you some clothes when you were in the hospital. Remember that. Right. I like knowing about the people I’m interacting with.”

“I don’t suppose you did that with the HYDRA people too?”

“Didn’t really have a chance.” He growled.

She sighed. “Okay. Calm down.” She opened the fridge. They still had plenty food in there from the two runs to the market and Walmart that happened earlier on in the week. “I don’t know if you’d like to be there with all that happening so you could make yourself disappear for the day if you want.”

Emilie wasn’t fond of the idea of Bucky being elsewhere. She didn’t like the idea of him being stuck in her room, either. It was like being trapped in a cage. He was stuck in a metaphorical and physical cage for a long time. She didn’t see what good it would do to suggest that. So, she gave him the better option.

He didn’t really say anything about for hours. They had an early breakfast that featured pancakes and sausage. She had retired to her room for two hours to shower and work on a checklist of things that she needed to get when she went out. Then she came out to him doing pushups, shirtless in the place where the coffee table was. He moved it.

She was distracted. Really distracted for the two minutes it took for him to realize that she was watching him. He didn’t stop moving but he spoke in grunts as he did about five more push-ups. “If I say I want to stay for the family thing on Monday?”

“Wait, why would you want to even be here for that?”

“Answer the question, Emi.” This was the second time he had called her that and she shook away the immobilization that struck her when she heard it again coming from his mouth.

“I have to get you some clothes. It would be weird for you to turn up in my brother’s clothes.” She sighed turning away from him and heading for the door. “Move the coffee table back when you’re done.” She told him before she exited the door.

Bucky sat up on the floor to cool down about fifteen minutes after she left. He knew that it bothered her now, the idea that he wanted to sit in on her family’s gathering. There was something strange about her family dynamic with them. She didn’t talk about her brother and there were no mention of parents but perhaps some aunts and cousins were going to attend.

He knew why she gave him the option to leave the house for the day. She wanted to continue on a rouse that was already set. His being there would create chaos. This was one thing she should have known about him even if she didn’t know him. Not in the way she thought she thought. He – The Winter Soldier enjoyed chaos, but that was not who wanted to be here. It was him; every part of him that wanted to learn more about this woman who kept more secrets than anyone he had ever known.

He remembered the women who Bucky admired. The ones he spent time with willingly. The girl who went with him to expo was sweet. Her friend had eyes for him too. Then there was Peggy. Steve’s Peggy, he reminded himself. Where was she now? He was almost curious enough to leave the house to search for information. It wasn’t in his data. He wanted to know more about that one. She had red lips and a flare that was unlike any of the others. He remembered watching Steve’s face when she was in the room with him. She had been off limits and he understood why. Not at first, but it was because she had eyes for Steve. Not the tall buffed version of him that he had come to know later when he tried to kill him but the part of him that was still genuinely the kid from Brooklyn who got into fights that he would intercede and pull him out of.

He had a heart that wasn’t like any of the ruthless mercenaries that he had fought with in the war. The war that he had dreamt of that night. The torture that several of his platoon including himself had experienced.

He remembered the light in the pain and the darkness. That was Steve. He had come for him and he dragged him away and back to camp where Peggy was waiting for them both.

He closed his eyes and let all that soak in the dark patches that clouded his mind. It was slowly coming together. He had only gotten glimpses before. Nothing had ever been shown so full on and clear.

Emilie was bright. She tried to help when he had been howling in pain and twisting in the throes of what he had experienced for the second time, anew. He was trying to find a way to repay her for her decision to go along with him for so long now.

It had only been a little over a week since he had met her. This was something that he couldn’t grasp. _Time_. It was so fleeting and hard to center. He hadn’t had a use for tracking it, but it was one of the only things he could think about when he really factored in how many years had gone by between the events that he was seeing. It hadn’t been too hard when he latched onto what he was wearing at a certain point in the memory.

The loss was heartbreaking.  His hands found his hair and tug at it hard as if that would help make it stuff. He breathed out in rough little huffs. He stopped about three minutes shy of completely tearing out his hair and began looking at his hands. He was shaking. This was the part of him that he was afraid of.

He was losing control. It wasn’t right. This is what they had done to him, what they made him into. He was feeble and weak but he held strength in one arm that was enough to kill anyone who stood in his way. He hated it. He hated this too.

This is why he hadn’t left yet. He needed someone to focus him enough to not completely breakdown when the time was right.

He needed Emilie to smack some sense into him. She had in her own way. She’d given him enough curiosity to sate him for days. She probably would be more confused by this than he currently was. He didn’t need to be attached to anyone, but at the same time he wouldn’t mind it. He hadn’t been attached to anyone in a long time. Not since before the war. He had seen women and had them touch him in ways that made sense but he knew that was different.

She was wrong about the fact that she thought he didn’t like to be touched. She had taken him off guard the first time. He had been asleep and unaware and he grappled at her throat as if she was the one who was hurting him but she wasn’t. She wasn’t hurting evil. Tormented? Yes, a bit like him except she had all her memories intact.

She was also gentle. She hadn’t picked him up off the floor and commanded him to do anything. She had even went so far to try to soothe him again for a few seconds before moving away. She thought that was what he wanted. What he needed.

To be fair, he didn’t exactly say anything to her that made it seem like he wasn’t completely disgusted by her soft fingers sifting through his hair. He was so still, like a rock.

He can admit now that he isn’t sure that this move to meet her family isn’t completely reckless or wrong. Something tells him that he should want to. In his gut, the same place that made him stay close when Jerry was in the house. It was a different feeling, though. He felt like this would be something beneficial to Emilie.

He couldn’t figure out why. He wasn’t good right now but he planned to make it work for that day. He knew how to act decent enough in public settings. The hospital was a good example. Also the market. 

Bucky decided to head to the shower, he needed a clean rinse after working out and the buildup of panic and frustrated needed to be tossed away for the time being. By the time Emilie had turned back up two short hours later he was dressed in one of the short sleeved button ups that she had loaned him. His hair was pushed back from his face using a little water and he felt clean.

Emilie herself looked a bit annoyed, but not with him. She passed him a large bag of clothing. “I don’t know what you wanted to wear so I picked up a few things. It’s weird that you almost fit my brother’s clothes so I didn’t ask you to tag along. I kind of eyeballed your measurements. Anyway, you have clothes of your own now. So. You’re welcome.” She ended with a halfhearted smile before side stepping to head to the kitchen with the rest of the stuff.

Bucky placed the bag she gave him on the chair without looking at what she had gotten. He moved into the kitchen and leaned against the wall, silently watching her unpack all the food that she had bought and stowing it away in the cabinets and the fridge. She had even bought new dishes. She left those on the counter as she stopped for a moment. She pulled a notepad out of her back pocket and began ticking off things on the list.

She was turned away from Bucky for a good five minutes. She jumped a little when she realized he had been standing there for a while. “Is there with a problem with your clothes?”

“I didn’t look at them.” He says quietly.

“Oh.”

“Did something happen while you were out?”

“Um…” She thought on it for a moment. “Kind of.” She began chewing on her pen cap as she looked back at the page. Forgetting he was there again until he cleared his throat. “Oh, you want to know what happened.” She stated. He didn’t nod or anything just kept staring at her. He was always staring. She wasn’t as uncomfortable with it anymore.

“I ran into Steve.”

She expected some loud outburst from him. Some sort of reaction to her interacting with the man who was both his best friend and source of confusion (and anger and yet more confusion). Instead she was the one reacting to him coming at her quickly and incasing her in his hold. His arms were on her shoulders and he was guiding her out of the kitchen to sit down on the couch again.

He had taken the notebook out of her hand, and placed it on the coffee table leaving Emilie jittery and confused. This was different and highly unexpected.

He didn’t say a work for in a few minutes but she noticed how rattled he seemed now. His legs were practically bouncing as he sat next to her. This was something new, also that she wouldn’t ask about. It was important that he was choosing to sit so close to her.

“Did you talk to him?”

“I tried…” She decided to start with that, seeing as she didn’t know how he was feeling about Steve today. It was odd to think that he might have changed his mind since this morning.

“Okay.”

“I had to run after him a little to get his attention. I suppose starting off with ‘I’ve been living with your best friend who also tried to kill you’ was the first thing I should have said but I started with “Steve!”, her voice was loud causing Bucky to flinch a little but he understood why she did that. She was trying to give it back to him piece by piece. “He looked and was confused and then started walking so I had to jog a bit to catch up with him. This was before I went into the clothes store. He was alone but he looked good. Anyways,” She spoke trying to get to the point before she lost his focus. “I said that I knew where you were and I kind of said your name a few hundred times before he seemed to actually pay any attention to what I was saying. I didn’t give him an exact place seeing as D.C. is huge but I told him that you were safe and wasn’t ready to see him yet. He looked crestfallen at this information but he seemed happy that you hadn’t fell off the radar or gotten yourself into more trouble but I didn’t mention any of the things that involved falling out of a hospital room or you killing a man for me. I didn’t think it was the right moment. So I have his number for when you’re ready.”

Emilie stared at Bucky, unsure of what was going to happen. It wasn’t like she had been prepared to practically run after another Super Soldier so that the other one with the metal arm would have an opportunity to fix what had been shattered once. She had been focused on getting the things that he needed for Monday, and the things that she needed. She could say that her nightly runs did come in handy though. Steve was still lighter on his feet than she had even been.

Bucky turned to Emilie again. He knew she was waiting for him to say anything before they could move on past this point. He wasn’t exactly sure if he was ready or if he ever would be ready to face Steve. From what he had collected of their years together – he hadn’t gotten all of the pieces yet, he knew that Steve was a large important part of his life. He would have to be ready at some point soon or there would be no real progress to happen. He couldn’t stay here with Emilie. He couldn’t put her in this hole for much longer. When her second week was up she would have to go back to her life and he knew he had to let her, without intercede or causing any more mayhem driven by his past or his future.

He did feel like he would like to keep in touch with her. He liked her. He was starting to really hone on to that idea more.

“Thanks for talking with him for me since I wasn’t there. I don’t know what I would have done. The idea of seeing him again after what I did to him isn’t something I’m prepared for physically or mentally.”

“Why not physically?” She thought that was a strange thing for him to say. She could understand why he couldn’t mentally be ready. There was so many gaps that he hadn’t found the pieces for. He hadn’t told her everything but she knew enough to know that the largest pieces that he needed were where Steve Rogers was concerned. She got why that was something that seemed foreboding to him. There was such a dark disconnecting factor for Bucky when it came to who he thought Steve was, and who he was supposed to be for him.

“He broke my arm.”

“You’ve had a broken arm this entire time?” She was looking at him with so much bewilderment that it made him laugh. It was such a light laugh that it took her off guard.

“Yes.” He muttered, when he finally came down from his giggles over her.

“Which one?” Her eyes slipping over to his arms that were out for her to see. His fingers tightened as she tried to figure out which one could have possibly be injured.

He lifted his metal arm. “You can still use it though? Take this morning for instance?”

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. You’re not particularly bright when it comes to technology. This is beyond me or you, Emi.”

She licked her lips. “I know someone who could fix it.”

Bucky’s eye brow rose in curiosity.

“He might be hard to track down, and he’s a kid which makes it more troubling. Maybe Steve knows someone better but that would have to wait until after you two hash it out in your weird Bucky and Steve way.”

“You called me Bucky.” There was a smile somewhere in his eyes.

“It fit for the circumstances. You’re still Barnes to me.”

His mouth twitched a little. He really didn’t mind her aversion for the nickname. He found it strangely sweet that she wanted to keep him separate from that as long as she could. He protected her out of instinct, and she protected him from what she knew he was still trying to be alright with. It was an interesting dynamic.

“It can wait.” He finally told her. “I think I’ll be out of your hair by Wednesday.”

“Why Wednesday?”

He shrugged.

“I want to meet your family.” He added after a beat.

“Why?” She asked again, looking a little pained.

“It’s useful to me.”

“You’re weird, Barnes.” She said before getting up to go back to the kitchen, muttering something about figuring out something for a later lunch.

Bucky waited until he couldn’t see her to put his face in his hands.

The Steve resolution was happening fast. He hadn’t expected any of this to happen so fast. He hadn’t even known who he was until he was assigned this mission and now he was all he could think about when he let himself think about anything that circled around his past. When he wasn’t thinking about Steve, he was thinking about his mother and sister. He didn’t remember much about his sister other than the fact that she was always there when he was home. She was the one who encouraged him to be a hero in the war even though that hadn’t exactly been the reason why he enlisted. He remembered the shaky feelings he had when he went for the medical exam and the tears of fear from his mom when she realized that he would be leaving her to fight in a war that took his father away.

He sighed, looking towards the kitchen. He wondered what happened to her parents. They died, he knew that much but she still hadn’t shared any of that. He wanted to know if it was something like how his family was. Was it normal to feel sad when you thought of the dad that you only remember from when you were a kid, and the mom who only existed to you before you “died” during the war? Was he truly that strange?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. Right? Maybe. For more info in my vagueness read the ending note. I hope you like this. It’s all I’ve been working on for the past couple weeks. Thanks to a certain someone who I met on tumblr in the Sam Wilson (he's basically my heart) tag who enthusiasm really made me want to finish this. Sometimes you need a kick in the butt to get things done. So thanks dear, you know who you are. 
> 
> Anyways hope you guys like this and I’ll see you at the bottom with extra things. <3

 

**3/3**

The day of Emilie’s small family dinner came swift and entirely soon if anyone ever asked her. She had done prep work for the cooking and ended up spending the better part of the morning actually making the feast that was supposed to last from midday into early evening. There was so much to be done and Bucky did try to help.

She gave him small tasks to do around the house while she was busy getting everything else together. Given the chance later, she would tell him how grateful she was that he hadn’t chosen to leave yet. As much as it confused her as to why he was still here; wanting to be here with her when she dealt with her loving yet estranged family. It was definitely a lot to take on for one person but she would manage as she had been doing for years now.

Bucky would be lying if he didn’t find this entire thing to be a little more familiar than weird. Family had been something important to him and Steve. Having lost someone on both sides this was something he wanted to be around to experience once again. He couldn’t say he wasn’t curious about where a woman like this came from. Even if it seemed like she wasn’t entirely truthful towards them. Bucky had the feeling that there were things that her family didn’t know, such as the tale she had told him while she was in the hospital.

_Luke_. What he had done to her, and how that had changed her. Despite that she still didn’t let it keep her down. Even when others in her life tried to bring her down in the worst way. _Jerry_. He might not have known her long but he knew that she was someone strong who might not have people who she wanted to trust readily. She seemed to do alright by him.

She had promised to take him by a decent barber after the night was done so that he could feel cleaner than he looked. He had given himself a nice shave the previous day and made her laugh because he ‘looked like a different person.’ It had taken him a small pause to get that she was joking to which he had just smiled cautiously at her and shook his head. It was hard to grasp at humor when he hadn’t known it in seventy years.

Having someone to look out for you was also something that he wasn’t used to. Or someone you must look after. He knew that he didn’t have to look after Emilie but it would be wrong of him not to because of what she had done for him. Finding information about who he was, then finding Steve (although that happened without much of her trying at all) and ultimately giving him the option to decide when he would open up that can of worms and reunite with his previous enemy but first and foremost his best friend.

A part of him wanted to delay the inevitable and he’d be lying if he didn’t decide that staying up to Wednesday wasn’t partly because he needed to figure out what would happen when he crossed paths with Steve Rogers again. However, it wasn’t entirely the truth. He wanted to have a good memory of the other person in his life that he found completely at ease being in the company of. Not many people openly threw things at him after agreeing to allow them into their homes, nor were many willing to be unguarded around him later on when given multiple reasons as to why doing such a thing would be a mistake. Bucky didn’t necessarily get Emilie Timothy but he also wanted to get to know her on the level he was trying to get back to; human emotion.

That started with getting to know the familial pieces that made her who she was. His thoughts immediately went to the brother. He wouldn’t be there. She hadn’t mentioned him at all. Nor had he asked. He decided that he would before he left. Another question he didn’t want to leave unanswered.

He peeked into the kitchen after getting himself into a better set of clothes as the time grew closer for Emilie’s family to arrive. She wasn’t in there fretting as she had been doing all day long, which could only mean she was in her room or had stepped out. He had would have been able to hear if she had left so she hadn’t.

Hands tucked into the pocket of his pants, he move along the corridor that he had frequented over the past couple days. Memorizing the small dents in the walls from a late night mishap where he had caught Emilie off guard when she had slipped out to use the bathroom and brush her teeth. It had been one of his worse nights thinking that she wasn’t who she was and she having to kick him in the groin and nearly break his arm to get him to snap out of it. The vase that had shattered echoed in his mind shaking him as he stopped at the door that was cracked opened. He could see Emilie looking calmer than he had seen her in a long time.

Emilie was brushing her hair which was now the color of lavender. He must have looked distressed when she caught him half inside the room through the mirror because she turn around and giggled at him. “I’m providing a distraction. It’ll go away in a couple of months. It’s better for them to disapprove of my hair than to be pulled towards the sudden appearance of someone with a very power metal arm. I don’t think they’ll know who you are but some people do pay attention to what’s happening around the world.”

Bucky nodded, briefly before taking in what else had changed about the woman of this house. She was in a dress, it looked simple enough. If he remember correctly it was something his mother had worn. Very understated, the hair is what threw it off. A pair of sandals on her feet. “What do you think?” She chimed in, watching him survey her. She didn’t have the courage to do a little spin. He hadn’t caught her before going on a date. This was just a normal night in the house. Or at least that’s what she told herself tonight. It was going to be very different.

Bucky left her hanging for a few beats as he stared down at his shoes. This wasn’t something he should have trouble with. From what little he had remembered he was great with the female species. Better than Steven. Yet, this was hard. He found her very attractive.

He finally mumbled something in Russian. It was his own defense mechanism even though nothing was wrong. “ _Ty vyglyadish’ ochen’ milo, Emilie_.”

Emilie was pouting when he looked up making him bite down a smile. “You know I haven’t mastered the language as well as you have. All I caught was Emilie.” She playfully punched him in the arm.

The sound of the doorbell ring flooded him with relief, though Emilie made no move to leave the room just yet. She did turn away slightly and picked up an elastic band from her collection that littered the vanity table.

“You’re a mess, Barnes.” She called as she slipped around his back stilling him out of precaution minutely before he felt her fingers slip through his hair. Her movements were quick but careful.

Since once again she was doing something for him, he gave her something too. “I said, you look very pretty.” He felt her hands fall away from his hair which she had just tucked into small bundle against his neck. “Thank you.” She whispered before leaving him there.

Bucky sighed as he bent down to look at himself in the mirror. He shrugged, the makeshift bun did make him look less rattled. Though the clothes did help too. He had picked out a dark red shirt which he rolled the sleeves of up (she hadn’t commented on him showing his metal arm so he supposed she didn’t mind), a black undershirt which was easily shown past the unbuttoned top two buttons he had left untouched, and a pair of dark slacks, and black shoes. When Emilie had went shopping for him she had thought of everything. Even going so far as to finding him dressy clothes. It had briefly made him wonder if she thought he was going to be around for this but he just ignored the thought. She didn’t know if he wanted to stick around for that. So it was meaningless.

He stood back up and waited a few more minutes before slipping out of her room and heading to meet the guests. Emilie had told him a few quick facts while they were sorting everything out for the past two days. He knew there was a great aunt, two cousins, and an uncle that were expected to come. There could be others as well. One of the cousins he was supposed to be wary of because she liked to bully Emilie. She hadn’t told him this but he could read the agitation she showed when she talked of her well enough. She didn’t like the way she was treated, and neither would the Soldier should it happen. He was going to make the best of it, and try to keep things going smooth.

None of that had been an order but it felt heavily implied. He wouldn’t rock the boat. The evening seemed too important to Emilie for him to interfere in matters he didn’t fully understand.

He stood inside the kitchen as Emilie spoke happily with everyone. Even the aunt that Bucky could clearly hear was chiding her choice of colorful hair. At least Emilie had gotten that part right. So far so good.

It wasn’t until he realized that they would be coming through the kitchen on their way out to the lantern lit backyard that he realized that he would have to talk to these people. He was comfortable with Emilie, these new people would be a different story. He took in a deep breath as he heard the first sign of footsteps and he leaned against the countertop that was closest to the knife block. This was an accident but he noticed Emilie looking at him incredulously.

“Oh, who’s this?” A tall brunette in a blue dress that did very little to leave anything to the imagination stated. She had a wicked grin that had Bucky remembering another woman who was a better dresser with red hair that shared that same smile. He shoved it back down as he pushed off the counter and took the few feet forward.

Emilie slipped through the small group of people to stand a few feet in front of him. “This is _Jimmy._ An old friend of mine that’s staying with me.” She left it at that though it was clear they had questions. So did he. Why did she have to use the name Jimmy of all things?

He decided to shelf that for later when they had time.

He soon learned that the tall brunette was the only surviving cousin of a fire that had happened nearly ten years ago. Her name was Raven, a slight contrast to what color her hair used to be before she grew up and went to a lighter tone. These were all things that had been told to him. It didn’t seem to matter to him either way. The only thing he was focused on was the way the others seemed to look annoyed at hearing this for what Bucky believed was the hundredth or so time.

The other cousin was male and had made a point to glance down at Bucky’s arm once they had settled down. He wanted to ask him about it. Emilie had given him a few options to go with in response if they asked – they were trying hard not to – but he hadn’t decided on one or if he would just figure it out if it came to that. Other than the blatant staring the man was rather plain. Brown hair, and nearly black eyes (was possible it was a contact), and a normal face that if he had to remember it for some reason he didn’t think that he could.

The great aunt whose name was Clarissa was rather quiet but she seemed to be enjoying her family plus the new stranger’s company well enough. She chimed in a few times but other than that there was nothing coming from her.

The dinner had been going in the way he suspected a dinner should go. A lot of laughter and talking about old stories. Bucky had learned a few things about Emilie’s childhood with Clarissa. She had lived with her in her teen years after her parents had died unexpectedly. Emilie had been reserved for the most part after their death, only rebelling a little once the year mark had come up. That might have been a sign that she was still grieving.

Bucky noticed how uncomfortable Emilie felt talking about it. He didn’t think it was the fact that she had lived with her great aunt. Perhaps it was the talk of her dead parents. He vaguely remembered the way Steve had reacted after his mom died. This was many years later for her and yet she didn’t want to talk about it. Something was wrong with that.

Tevin (the male cousin) finally opened his mouth to break the somber mood to ask about the metal arm. “So what happened to you?”

Bucky avoided eyes with Emilie who he felt perk up slightly at his side. She was partly happy to not have to deal with the subject of her mother and father, but on the other hand he could feel her anxiety. Without moving much on the surface, he reached under the table and grabbed one of her hands and gave it a squeeze as he answered. “An accident at work. It was the only way I could work afterwards so I got an operation done.”

He couldn’t tell if he was squeezing too hard or if she was at the half-truth he had spilled for her family to see. None of them asked if he was telling the truth.

Clarissa did say something though. “What do you do? What’s your occupation?”

“I’m a contractor.” It was automatic, and strangely relieving to have said something that was accurate. He was a contractor of some sort. Not the one you trusted your friends around but Emilie didn’t seem to have that problem at present.

“Oh. I may have to have you look at something soon.” She smiled at him which only made Bucky want to recoil. He didn’t want to owe any favors when he didn’t even know if he’d be able to do it.

“He might be out of town soon on another job so I wouldn’t hold your breath on that.” Emilie piped in as Bucky released her hand. He flexed it. Looking down at it cautiously. They had both been holding on too tight.

_Interesting…_

It was in this moment that everything around him shifted. One second Emilie was smiling and the next she was standing up gathering dishes and it was not because she was happy and wanting to grab something from inside the house. She didn’t rush anywhere (to his knowledge) unless she wanted to get away from something. Or someone in this case.

Raven had been going on about finally talking when Emilie didn’t talk about anything that mattered. Like Luke. She hadn’t directly said it but it was heavily implied and Bucky wasn’t the only one who noticed. The uncle who until this moment had been practically invisible to Bucky swooped in to diffuse the situation while giving Bucky the opportunity to follow Emilie inside.

She was already drawing the water for the dishes, and had piled her hair up on her head. A different look for an upset Emilie who was busying her hands with placing the dishes in the soapy water. Her lips were moving but he couldn’t read what she was saying from his angle so he moved to her side and nearly startled her.

She didn’t say anything at first. She just blinked at him as if she hadn’t expected him to have come after her. It wasn’t the first time he was lurking in the shadows watching her. He often was doing that not that it really bothered her, but now it appeared she was even more distressed.

“I didn’t think she’d bring it up. Kind of idiotic of me, right?” She scoffed as she sunk her hands into the water and began to wash a plate. She had three piled into the empty second half of the sink by the time Bucky realized that even though it wasn’t a question he had to answer he needed to.

He grabbed the towel that was sitting on the counter closest to the sink, before picking up one of the plates and beginning to dry it. He set it down on the counter, throwing the towel over his shoulder as he looked at her once more. He had to say something. He swivel around so that his back was against the counter and he didn’t have to see the sad expression her face. It was making him feel strange.

“No. You’re not stupid.” Emilie opened her mouth to tell him that she knew that but he didn’t give her a chance as he pressed his turned back closer to her until his waist was pressed against her. She kept doing what she was doing despite the sudden feel of his warmth radiating on her. “Your cousin has a textbook personality type that’s common after losing family members such as parents. After feeling the need to be the center of attention all the time and then suddenly having no one in her life… so she directs the attention to someone else who feels pain. I don’t think she wanted you to run away. Maybe she just wants you to talk to her. I could be wrong. She could be petty.”

Emilie found it amusing how easily it was for Bucky to dissect someone so quickly after not knowing them very long. She found it almost reassuring to know that he didn’t think she was like her cousin.

“She is…petty.” Emilie told him after a moment. He turned his head towards her. He had his arms folded but he didn’t look on guard at all. It was a nice change to the man she had met that night on her run. It almost made her ask something of him that she knew wasn’t possible.

Bucky’s eyes moved away from her as he nodded. He recognized what she said but had nothing to offer her in return so she resumed her task at hand. She had nearly gotten through all that she had brought inside. She was missing the glasses. She’d go back out for them in a few minutes. She was just about to go back out so that she could face her family once more.

She started to step back only to have Bucky reach out and take her elbow and follow the motion up with turning towards her completely. He looked distracted but with some sort of plan for why he was doing this at all. “Sorry…” He told her, she didn’t get what he meant for a full half a second.

Then he had pulled her towards him, his lips smashed against hers in a hurried motion. She just about pushed him back when she heard the familiar high pitched sound of Raven’s voice. “Listen…” Whatever else she was saying was blocked out by the feel of the insistent Bucky Barnes who was most certainly still kissing her. At some point she had slipped her wet hands on his shoulders, linking her fingers together as to not pull at the bun that was keeping his hair at bay. The urge to toy with his dark hair was getting stronger as he pushed her against the counter. His mouth entrancing her in a way she hadn’t even thought about in a very long time.

When she heard the backtracking of Raven’s footsteps and the almost quiet, “I’ll leave you two,” she expected him to step back. And yet they were still awfully close to one another.

Another breath of air and then he angled his head away and looked at her. It wasn’t as if he was ashamed of what he had done, but he did look regretful that an intruding family member was the cause of that display. “Sorry.” He muttered a second time. She didn’t miss the miniscule smirk that flitted on his lips as she removed her arms from around him. He had enjoyed that.

It wasn’t until they were nearly out the door to rejoin the others that she realized he had been rather enthusiastic about running his hands through her hair. At least one of them got that chance while it lasted. She had made a quick motion to pull her hair completely down. It was nearly out of the band that she had used to pile it up again because of him. It made her want to laugh. That had been amazing and almost too silly for her to be able to know that it had happened. It had been a real moment.

Emilie set a cake out. It had been bought at the store. She knew how to bake but she knew she wouldn’t have had the time to make one with everything else going on.

The rest of the night went off without a hitch and when it was time to go Raven made sure to apologize with some hesitation. Emilie wouldn’t have put it past her Uncle Trevor to threaten her younger cousin into doing it. She just couldn’t see her doing it on her own. Although that didn’t mean she didn’t appreciate the gesture. She had certainly made a mess of things. Though all was not bad tonight.

Once the door was shut for the final time that night Emilie visibly slunk down and nearly made it for the couch. If only she wasn’t someone who had to have a clean kitchen before she could rest. She hadn’t really planned on sleeping anyhow.

While she cleaned up, Bucky showered and changed into his night clothes and took position on the floor against the couch. It was the more comfortable space in the room for him. He sat there thinking of what Wednesday would bring. He still had one full day here in the house with Emilie then after that he didn’t know what would happen. He felt excited. It was odd.

He was so used to knowing what would happen or what he was supposed to do. He didn’t know what lay ahead and that enough to bring this child like grin onto his face which only lightened up a bit when Emilie jumped on the couch having finished cleaning and asked, “What are you grinning about, Barnes?”

He tilted his head up towards her. He looked at the tired looking woman who was choosing to stay out here with him rather than go to her bed. Why was she doing that?

He shook his head. “What are you doing?”

She sat up half way, and folded her legs in one quick motion. It was as if some energy suddenly jolted her awake. “Well, if you have any questions now is the time to ask them Soldier.”

“Any question?” He gave her an inquisitive look. Was she trying to be funny?

The smile stayed on her face, a single nod came from her in reply.

Bucky closed his eyes a moment. He had many questions. There wasn’t as much time as he needed to figure out everything he wanted to know about her or her circumstances but he’d take tonight for what it was worth. He didn’t know whether he had realized that earlier when he kissed her. He hadn’t had a clue.

“Where’s your brother…Ethan?” He trailed off.

Emile wouldn’t say she expected that but she did. He had wanted to know about him before but she had just pushed it to the side not wanting to get into it.

“The last time I heard from him he was in some islands in the Caribbean. I have no idea where he is now. It’s been a long time.” She sighed before falling back into a laying down position. Her head close to his though she was looking up at the ceiling.

“Wouldn’t you want to find him?”

She didn’t say anything for a while.

“Someday.”

Bucky left it at that though he felt like he owed her to help with that. Maybe next time. He switched topics until they were both too tired to talk anymore and he realized that she was almost sleeping. He turned around and balanced on the arches of his feet before scooping her up. “I can walk you know.” She said quietly.

Bucky ignored her as he started walking down the corridor. “You aren’t walking right now. You’re asleep.”

“Not yet, butthead.”

He laughed. “Butthead?”

“Yeah,” She yawned, and slowly punched him the face with one eye opened. “You’re a smartass too.”

He stopped walking a moment a few paces from her bedroom door and looked down at her. “Go on.”

Emilie opened her eyes to look at him. He didn’t look scary nor did he look happy at her calling his names. In fact she couldn’t tell what was on his mind so she did the thing he wasn’t expecting given their current slip into nonsense. “Thank you.”

He blinked. Emilie’s voice had gotten softer if that was possible when she expressed her gratitude towards him. He didn’t know what she was thanking him for. It was she who he should be thanking in the end.

He didn’t say a word just looked ahead and took her to her bed where he let her get settled before walking away.

Bucky slept soundly for the first time that he could remember since being trapped in the ice chamber. He had plenty on his mind but he managed to get a few hours of sleep before he heard the water in Emilie’s bathroom cut on. He kept his eyes shut trying to lull himself back to sleep but like a caged animal it was hard to stay still when there was other things going on around him. He sighed, as he swung his legs off the couch and levelled himself down onto the ground for a workout. He was going to sweat which meant another shower but it was better than staying idle and not being able to find that rest that he so desperately needed. It also gave himself some time to think about what they were going to do today.

He had decided he was going to be the one in control of something for once. He wanted to take her somewhere. As much as he told himself and Emilie that it was just a day out like any other he knew he was feeling the waters for something that lingered past the last night where he kissed her, and held her in his arms before she left him alone for sleep. He couldn’t shake the thought of it. If he wasn’t thinking about Steve which was present in his mind every second now – that wouldn’t go away until he was standing in front of him – he was thinking of his luck.

When he thinks about why he chose her, he thinks of how wrong he had been. Emilie wasn’t who he thought she was supposed to be. What others took her for. She wasn’t fragile, not completely. She dealt with every little thing like it was supposed to happen to her with no regret and that meant dealing with him too and all the baggage he brought with him. He was lucky to have picked her. To have found something that he wasn’t even looking for. Whether that meant a friend he would soon lose, he didn’t mind. He was taking the moment.

When Emilie ducked out of the corridor trying not to wake him as she frequently attempted, he called out to her. “Where’s your computer?”

Her mouth was wide open as she turned her head towards him. Her body was in a strange frozen position where one leg was posed forward as if she was mid step and the other was bent as if she was about to lunge. One of her hands pointed to behind her. “My room. Why?”

“I need to use it…for something.”

She gathered herself and started heading back the way she came. “Are you refreshing yourself about what you know about you…or Steve or whatever?” She asked once she was back in his presence. Laptop was closed as she passed it to him.

He shook his head. “I need to look into something.” He left it at that. He was aware that she was growing suspicious but she’d find out shortly his motives.

Emilie sat and watched him type away on her laptop doing his search for whatever he needed. He was abundantly unclear about what that was. However, like most things concerning him he wanted to go about it at his own pace. A right he had being free from all entanglements with HYDRA or any other organization he wanted nothing to do with.

When he finally closed her laptop, he looked over at her. “What?” He asked feigning innocent as he moved to the back of the house. She followed at his heel of course. “Are you gonna share what you learned with the class, Mister Barnes?”

He chuckled at her odd phrasing. “You’ll see. You might want to put on more clothes.”

Emilie looked down at what she was wearing. Shorts and a tank top. Perfect for anything. Unless it had to do with him she supposed. She gave him a curious glance before by passing him to go to her room. “What do you have in mind?”

“Layers. It’s going to get cold.”

He left her with that to take a shower.

Where Emilie and Bucky ended up was quite beyond what she had been thinking he was trying to do. They were in the mountains. As many years as she had lived in D.C. she had never once gone mountain climbing or hiking, or camping for that matter. For about one and half hours they hiked it up to a single point. It was scarce of people but Emilie turned to Bucky feeling like there was a reason he brought her to this place. Whether it was from a memory or not she would hold fast until he told her what it was.

After a sigh, and a few moments of Bucky looking over the other side of the mountain he turned to her. “It reminds me of where I fell.” He started. Emilie’s face sobering up despite how cold she was. “A particularly high point with not much below it. Yet it could still kill someone. I could have died that day. Something I often think should have happened considered what transpired afterwards.”

Emilie touched his face; a gesture that had him looking down at her with his usual neutral expression. It was chilly out here and yet her hands felt warm. It wasn’t possible and yet it was happening again. “You lived because you were supposed to. Call it fate. You finding your way to the one person who understands you.” She paused as she looked away from him and at the snow that coated her boots. “Like the climb up here what lays ahead might not be easy but it’s what you need to do.”

Bucky tilted his head to the side. She was wrong about one thing. Steve wasn’t the only one who could understand him. He didn’t have to tell her much but it was always enough for her to give him comfort when he needed it. A small touch there, a look that centered him. She had done so much for him already and she didn’t think that it was as helpful as it was. She usually brushed it off with a shrug. He couldn’t shake her off. Here or any time before.

He grasped her hand that was on his cheek. “Let’s get something to eat.”

“Something warm.” She instructed him.

“I wouldn’t torture you…” Emilie beamed at him even though she was visibly shivering. They had soup and sandwiches at a small shop on the way back home. The next morning reality set back in.

 

Emilie had never seen Bucky fidget before. He was always so controlled and stoic for the most part that it was hard to look at him pacing and not be a little amused. It didn’t mean she wasn’t feeling her own brand of turmoil. She had enjoyed having him around. It was nice to have the company even if that had just gotten around to really talking without barriers last night. It was her parting gift to him.

“Barnes.” She called from the island which she had hopped on while answering Steve’s call. He had wanted to make sure of the time and where he was headed. He wasn’t the one driving – she had only known that by the deep voice in the background telling Steve to ‘relax because I know this area better than anybody’- he was just as anxious as his best friend was.

It was kind of endearing really. Two guys who respected and cared for each other to that extent trying to find a place back to each other. Bucky and Steve weren’t the only ones filled with anxiety about this meeting. Emilie herself wondered how it would go. She hoped it went well enough for them both.

Bucky stopped moving, and looked towards where she was. He could spy her over the bar that separated the kitchen and the other room. He walked over to the bar and visibly sighed. “What?”

“Take a deep breath.” She instructed him. It reminded her of the last time she had to get him to focus. After the jump from the hospital. He was rattled that time too.

He stared at her and nodded, doing as she told him a few seconds later. It was different than the men from Hydra giving him orders – Pierce in particular – he knew that Emilie was trying to help him so he didn’t mind doing as she asked. She was merely suggesting he do certain things because she felt that it would help him. It did.

“It’s taking too long.” He mumbled.

Emilie smiled at him gently not that he saw her with his head bent down in a demure fashion, staring at the granite of the bar. She hummed a little before jumping down to cross over to where he was. She stood on the opposite side, keeping a little distance while reaching out to pat his hand. “We don’t know where he is coming from, but he seemed to not be that far. You only have to wait a little longer.” She paused briefly as his eyes met hers. “Do you know what you’re going to do?”

She wasn’t surprised by his answer. “No.”

“Well try not to hit him.” She was joking, and Bucky let out a little laugh slip out. He tried to cover it up with a cough but Emilie was there encouraging him. “You don’t have to hide your smile. It’s a good smile, I like it.”

Bucky looked happy to hear that. He smiled a little more. “Thank you.” He replied after a few seconds.

She stepped back a little as a thought occurred to her. She moved around the kitchen, looking for something. Bucky watched her quietly trying to see what she was doing but then the doorbell rang and he was back to feeling rigid and unsure. It did cause Emilie to hurry with whatever she was doing and rush to the door with a loud, “be right there.”

Emilie unlocked the door, swung it open in one quick motion. She smiled at the two men standing in front of her. A tall dark skinned man hung back behind the golden haired Captain. He gave her a wave, as Steve was looking over her. This wasn’t as weird as it would have been if it wouldn’t have been if there wasn’t someone behind her in the room. Emilie was much shorter than all of them.

She let out a chuckle, as the man who introduced himself as Sam put his hand on Steve’s shoulder trying to get him to greet her first before sidestepping her to meet his best friend. “Hi, sorry.” He looked sheepishly down at Emilie before he blinked seeming to notice her hair color. “Did you have purple hair the last time I ran into you?”

She shook her head. “No. It’s kind of a long story. It’s nice to see you again Steve.” He nodded as he shook her hand. She moved back after that letting him come in. Sam expressed his gratitude while Steve moved cautiously over to Bucky.

Emilie shut the door and moved over to the sofa effectively hanging back to give Bucky the space he needed.

Bucky himself was staring at Steve with a pained expression. There were a lot of emotions flooding him right now it was hard for him not to say something that he shouldn’t. It was a lot of confusion and aggression that he realized he hadn’t exactly dealt with, yet. He didn’t touch him and Steve looked to be trying to figure out how he should approach the subject.

“Hey Buck.” He finally said.

Bucky rolled on the back of his heel, pushing himself forward and backwards. He said a quiet, “Hey.”

Emilie had to admit this was much more awkward than she thought it would be. She had to do something. She shared a look with Sam who had moved to sit on the edge of her sofa closest to her. He nodded, and she moved to approach the two of them.

“So is there anything you want to say to him, Barnes?” She flanked his right side.

Before Bucky could open his mouth Steve angled his head to her like he was first surprised she had popped back up again, and secondly like he was confused about something. It did help that he immediately asked her something. “You call him Barnes?”

Bucky looked between Emilie and Steve and found himself trying not to smile. Emilie would found a way to make him feel at ease without doing much. Steve was helping too by directing the attention off of him and to his female counterpart. Emilie was about to explain but his best friend took the opportunity from her. “She thinks it’s wrong to call me Bucky. You call me Bucky. James is too formal. Though she did call me Jimmy the other night in front of her family.”

“You’ve met her family?” This whole thing must have been greatly confusing Captain America.

“I gave him the option to leave for a couple of hours. He wanted to stick around for some reason.” Steve didn’t miss the slight color that rose into Emilie’s face. Did something happen between them that would make her blush like that?

Bucky nodded. He paused a moment as he looked at Emilie who only gave him an encouraging smile. He turned his gaze back to Steve who was waiting expectantly. “What I wanted to tell you before you got distracted…” He coughed when Emilie poked him in the side. “…is that I’m sorry for almost killing you…a few times. I know who you are for the most part.”

“What do you mean?”

“I remembered some things. About you.” He was starting to talk in the clipped fashion that Emilie thought he had gotten out of the habit of doing, but perhaps it was how he addressed things. “Your mother’s name is Sarah. She died. I’ve known you since we were kids. Until I died…supposedly.” He seemed to be struggling with that last part. It was a hard subject for him to think about, and as such he seemed to have a harder time saying it out loud.

Steve saved him, reaching out and grasping his shoulder lightly. “It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it all now. I’m glad you remember me.” Steve smiled at him with utter happiness, Emilie saw some relief in his eyes too.

“Yeah, you used to wear newspaper in your shoes. How could I forget someone like that?” Bucky continued. It made Emilie giggle at his side causing Steve to laugh too.

“Same humor I see.”

Emilie wrinkled her nose dismissing that. “I had to work hard to get him to take a joke. I’m kind of proud that he pulled that off with a smile.”

“Hey.” Bucky sighed.

Steve wasn’t imagining things. Bucky liked her.

He wasn’t the only one who noticed either. Sam had come a little closer since Emilie had joined Bucky to assist. They shared a look.

“I think we’ll give you two a little time to…uh…” Steve trailed off.

Emilie looked up, “Yeah. Okay. I think I’ve kept him long enough so I’m sure it won’t be too long.”

Steve noticed the frown that surfaced on Bucky’s face. He looked conflicted about something but he didn’t say anything about it. Instead waiting for Steve and Sam to head towards the door before turning to Emilie. She had gone back over to the bar, picking up something that she must have left there. He walked over to her, meeting her as she turned back around with what appeared to be a small card. She stepped closer to him and showed him the card. It was simple but had writing – her neat penmanship – on it.

“In case you want to talk or something – my number is on this side. Call anytime you like, or come by if that makes you more comfortable.” She paused as she flipped the card over. “This is the name and address of that guy I mentioned should be able to fix your arm. He’s good at that kind of thing. He won’t ask anything, I already tipped him off that someone with a metal arm might stop by. Considering I have no idea where you guys are headed and who else you can ask for that kind of favor it’s my parting gift to you I guess.” She smiled before tucking it into the pocket on his shirt.

In the same movement as she started to back away, Bucky grabbed her hand and placed something cool against her palm. He had pulled it out of his pocket the moment he knew she was done explaining things to him. “My second favorite blade, just in case you need it.” He didn’t have to add anything else to that. Emilie had got the meaning even if their lurking friends didn’t know a single thing. She nodded. “Thanks.” She almost added ‘ _with my record, I’ll find some use for it.’_ She kept that part to herself.

He must have been able to read it though as he shifted his focus to the bag that was just at her feet. They had packed that last night before going to bed, and finished throwing the rest of the things in there this morning after breakfast. It reminded him of the 40s. A brown leather duffle bag.

He had meant to ask where it came from but he had learned that Emilie Timothy had a wide variety of resources for things that you would least expect. It was a bit daunting; in fact it made her seem more dangerous to him.

It was a sign that he couldn’t just stay here any longer. He was packed up and ready to go. Yet, he was hesitating from backing away from this small purple haired woman who had done so much for him without really knowing how much he valued her. In present company he didn’t feel comfortable with doing so either. So he surprised her, something he found incredibly amusing because it left her so speechless.

With his hand still wrapped around hers – the blade tucked firmly in her hand – he pulled her infinitely closer and ducked down to press his mouth against hers. He felt the gasp ripple through her body at the same time that he heard Steve chuckle and mention, “Yeah, we’re gonna be outside whenever you’re done…” He heard the Falcon’s laugh too before the sound of the door clicking close.

It didn’t mean that he was going to stop from kissing her. He had initiated it. He planned to see it through. Emilie for her part had reached out and taking purchase of his shirt. A portion of it was balled up into her hands. She was enjoying the feel of his mouth invading hers, and the tip of his tongue doing things that he hadn’t thought of doing in a long time. When he took a step back to get some air she was indeed speechless and quite red in the face. Not the first time today.

“Emilie…” He breathed, letting out a long sigh. He looked torn, but ultimately knew what he had to do. She must have come to the same conclusion despite how much they both had been enjoying that moment. Her hand uncurled from his shirt, she pulled it down softly to fix it. She didn’t edge back as much as she moved closer to him. He felt her rise the barest of inches to reach his shoulder. Her arms swung over him so that she could tell him something in his ear. It wasn’t as if there was anyone else there but them. He didn’t push her away either so that must have said something about what he wanted.

“Take care of yourself okay, Barnes?” She whispered quietly to him. She felt him wrap his arms around her waist and pull her closer causing her to lift off the ground more than she already was. He grunted in response.

_Got it, Emilie._

He held her a little bit longer before letting her go. He moved beside her to grab his bag. He gave her one long look before turning around and heading out the door. She followed his trail to lock the door.

Letting out a sigh Emilie went back to the kitchen where she had begun to write a letter this morning before Bucky had even gotten up.

_Dear Ethan…_ It started. This whole thing with Bucky and Steve Rogers had her thinking about the brother she hadn’t seen in a long time. Add the talk she had with Bucky the other night it was about time that she did something in the way of finding out if he was still breathing at all.

She read over what she had already written. A few sparse sentences explaining why she was doing this at all. She had the pen in her hand spinning away as she thought of what she wanted to say. She couldn’t focus as much as she needed to. Her thoughts with the man who had left her breathless and hoping he found what he had been searching for.

 

Bucky himself was sitting in the back of the blue SUV that Steve and Sam had arrived in. They were hitting the highway at its busiest time. Lunch rush. It would take a while to get to a proper exit. Bucky was really just along for the ride at this point. He occasionally looked at Steve who had taken the passenger seat in the front while Sam drove. It was possible that Steve didn’t know how to drive. Bucky didn’t remember if his friend had ever learned to do so. He had hijacked a car at some point in his missions, and then again when Emilie got hurt. Though that one belonged to her. She just didn’t use it that often unless she was working. Everywhere else they gone had been on foot not that he minded. He moved quicker on his own than having to sit and wait. It made him anxious.

It appeared the same thing was happening now. He kept fidgeting, and it didn’t seem lost on Steve who eyed him every so often. A part of Bucky felt that it was because he wanted to be sure that he was actually there. He got it, the last time they had seen each other he was dragging him out of the water and Steve hadn’t even been aware that it was him that had done it. He was out cold. At this point Bucky was still in Soldier mode and wasn’t sure why he was doing it. Perhaps it was the last thing he said to him, “ _I’m with you until the end of the line…_ ” with sad smile on his face.

Bucky stared at him briefly before turning to look out the window. He traced the cars path before he noticed something that had his breathing tight. There was a car that he recognized. Black Sedan. Tesla Model S. He remembered it because it was different than any other car that had been posted on Miller Avenue where Emilie lived, and again at the hospital after they fled. It was too much of a coincidence that he was seeing it again now.

“Dammit.” He let out a heavy sigh as he heard Steve call out to him.

“Buck, everything okay?” He slowly looked up at the blond with a face that probably looked very distressed.

“No.” He gritted out, biting his lip for a moment as he looked around the car. He didn’t particularly need anything but he was pressed for time and was trying to decide if he should just jump out or tell them what he was thinking. Steve was his friend, and the Falcon seemed to be a good person just from what he had figured out about him. Steve doesn’t keep around people that he doesn’t like.

“What’s up, man?” Sam called from the driver’s seat. He sounded alert. A very caring individual.

“I need to go back.”

Steve grinned. “Do you miss her already? I swear once we get settled, you can see her.”

Bucky would have probably chanced a smile if he was feeling good about the situation right now. Yet, he wasn’t and he had this suspicion that the tide was turning in the worst way. “That isn’t it. She’s in danger.”

“Of what?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“You have to give us something, Bucky.” Sam told him gently from the mirror in the front.

Bucky was starting to get frustrated. He would have been better to roll out of the car right now but he was still sitting there, strapped in. “Two lanes over there’s a car. Black sedan. Luxury model. I’ve seen it before.”

Sam couldn’t really look but Steve could. It took him a few seconds longer than Bucky liked to find it. “Yeah. It could just be a new buy for someone.”

“No. The license plate is the same. I checked. Three times since we’ve been close to it.”

“He’s two lanes over, man.” Sam stated.

“My vision is sharper than most.” Sam couldn’t say anything to that.

“What do you think, Sam?” Steve asked.

“With you guys I don’t really like the sound of coincidences. I’m gonna try to get to this exit.” Bucky almost thought of hugging him, but settled for a nod of thanks when Sam was looking at him through the rearview mirror. Sam smiled at him.

 

**15 MINUTES EARLIER, MILLER AVENUE (Emilie’s House)**

Emilie had stopped writing the letter after five minutes of nothing coming out of it. She had gone into her room and stashed it in her bedside table drawer before deciding that maybe she could heat up something to eat. There was a little bit of leftovers remaining from the dinner with her family. She hadn’t really eaten since she had woken up that morning and it was nearly one-thirty in the afternoon.

She managed to assemble a little plate before the sound of her doorbell ringing broke her walk to the dining room table. She let out a sigh, looking at the time. It had only been a few minutes since Bucky had gone. She hated that she thought it was him coming back already. He had something to look forward to that wasn’t being stuck in this house. She couldn’t blame him for going. Even still she laughed a little as she went to open the door.

“Back already?” She smiled as she swung the door open. The smile faltered when she noticed that it wasn’t Bucky or Steve, or even Sam standing in front of her. Instead there was a gun pointed at her face and four men.

This was not going to go well.

 

**15 MINUTES LATER, EMILIE’S HOUSE**

Before the car could come to a full stop Bucky was out of his seat and opening the door. He surveyed the street for anything suspicious before rounding the back of the car and coming to a full stop at the open door.

Steve and Sam were at his back for support as he stepped over the threshold and found the front room in complete chaos. He hopped over the turned over chair, and the broken table – the second one in his time here – and went to see if there was any sign of Emilie in the back. He didn’t see her the kitchen.

Steve shook his head looking at the mess. There were three bodies. All dead. He noticed what looked like twine sitting next to a fold out chair. Had she been tied up before she fled?

“Cap.” Sam called a few feet away with what looked like a camera in his head. Steve’s expression didn’t improve in the slightest as he joined Sam. Bucky had just come back looking very tense. He hadn’t found her in the back either.

Steve fiddled with the camcorder. He opened the viewer and turned it on. Hitting the menu button to see what had been recorded. He felt Bucky on his right as Sam hung back. He probably didn’t want to see it. Torturing people was on a very small list of things that Sam Wilson didn’t like or participate in.

He pressed the play button and angled it so that Bucky could see it too. Emilie appeared almost immediately standing in front of her door. The men had started backing her inside before the image got a little distorted. He fast forwarded it a bit. The quick images of Emilie bloody face as she was being interrogated for ten minutes before there was nothing. That seemed to annoy her captors and so they took a break. She wouldn’t say anything but they left the camera directed at her on a table more than likely.

It seemed to be enough time for to get herself loose with a knife that she happened to have in her pocket. “Is that what you gave her?” He asked Bucky as they continued watching the video. Bucky grunted in response. He was completely focused on what was happening.

Once Emilie had gotten herself free she listened to see where they were while waiting for an opportunity to escape. Voices could be heard to her right and as soon as it got closer she got to her feet and hid behind the overturned couch. The first guy who was slightly taller than Emilie by two inches at the most cursed in a foreign language (Slavic by the tongues) and started looking around the room. There was sudden movement of him falling backwards and then a gurgling sound before there was a small tuft of the purple hair.

She was out of frame but she looked okay when she slipped past the camera to the other side to stick to the wall before the other one came. It was a bit easier to see when she took down the other one. He had a gun in his hand but she managed to shove him into the glass table.

Bucky muttered something about her getting rid of those tables. Steve eyes raised at that. He’d ask him about it later.

Emilie had went ahead and stuck the knife into the second one’s skull before he could try to get up. A third one was on the way by the way she looked at the corridor that led to the back. Steve found it odd that she didn’t look as panicked as she had before, he paused it and turned to Bucky.

“I meant to ask this before but Emilie wasn’t scared of you at all?” Bucky sighed, knowing that he was going to have to give a very brief explanation of why that was.

“When she let me into her house she tried to throw a knife at me. Didn’t find out until later that she had been around a killer before. He did some things. She isn’t scared much of people like that.”

“She’s a fighter.” Sam replied, nodding at Bucky for confirmation. He wouldn’t look at the camera but he got the gist of it. She had already taken down two of the four guys. The question was what had happened to her now.

Bucky took the camera out of Steve’s hand and fast forwarded it a bit to after she had incapacitated the third one. She thought she had time. So she went for the camera herself and picked it up and started talking straight to it. It was then that Bucky realized that she had thought he would come back for some reason. Maybe she thought the same thing he had – there was a trail – and so she spoke something hurriedly. He had to rewind it a few times to make sure he heard it right.

“ _Mesto, gde solntse svetit.”_

“Is she speaking Russian? Where did she learn…oh…” He seemed to remember that Bucky was fluent in it. “What’s she saying?”

Bucky took a moment to think over it. He planned to tell him but he had to make sure he had this right before they moved forward. One wrong move and things could get steadily worse.

“It means, ‘ _The place where the sun shines.’”_ He looked at the paused screen of Emilie looking behind her. She had planned this part. She knew that she had to leave one of them. She had done most of the work, why didn’t she just kill him too? It confused Bucky.

“What does that mean though?” Sam chimed in.

“I think I know. She told me about this place that she used to go to when she was a kid. There’s a photograph.” He trailed off before he passed the camera back to Steve so that he could duck into the kitchen.

Of all the things that Emilie didn’t have displayed pictures were one of them. She had went to grab it last night and he had followed her to see where she had hidden it. He hadn’t checked the kitchen the first time that he had gone looking for information about her. He hadn’t seen the point.

“It’s supposed to be by a lake.” He placed the photo on the island so that they could both see it.

Something seemed to click with Sam. He looked like he knew where it was. Bucky gave him an intense gaze.

“I passed by it before. A couple summers ago.”

“Do you think you can find it again?” Steve asked, reading Bucky’s urgency for them to hurry up so that they could find the purple haired woman. He had never seen Bucky so desperate. He hoped that they didn’t find something worse than what was in the front room.

“Yeah, no problem. Let’s go.” Sam rushed out of the house with Bucky on his tail. It was clear that Steve was probably going to be in the backseat. He tried not to smile with the circumstances but it was hard considering the two of his friends’ behavior. It was good that they were getting along.

 

Emilie was back to where she had started. Tied up to a chair, with her head suffering the consequences of fighting back. A few blows to her skull among other places. It was no wonder why she hadn’t passed out again yet. The reality of the situation she was in made her feel like it was never going to stop. At least until she said something useful or died first. The latter would probably happen before she felt the urge to open her mouth.

The man before was goading her. She had figured out that he was the leader of the bunch. He also spoke English, a tactic that he was currently using to try to sway her into talking. “You’re done for Emilie Timothy. I’m just the beginning. If this doesn’t end with me it will when the rest of them come after you. You know what the best part is? If you had let Luke have his way with you none of this would happened.”

This had changed things.

Emilie had promised herself that she would never let Luke hurt her again. In her head or right now with the idea that she hadn’t just been picked up because she was defenseless. He was a part of whatever this was, and that bleed into the man that she had gotten to know the past couple weeks. It had to be HYDRA.

Did that mean that Bucky was right? That she was unknowingly connected to HYDRA. The first thing he had said to her when she pulled a knife on him and tried to stab him the face by launching it at him, was that she was HYDRA. At that time she had been unaware what any of that was about. She knew a little more but she still didn’t understand why it concerned her now.

She spit up the blood in her mouth and lifted her head to look at her captor. He wasn’t the only one on this land as much as she had hoped it would have been the case but he was the only one she had seen since he had shoved her inside the house that she had loved so much from her childhood summers. The memories were now scorched with blood and the powerful blows that had been directed her way.

“What does HYDRA want with me? I don’t believe in coincidences. How would they know that eventually the Winter Soldier would come for me?” She didn’t mean to imply that Bucky had wanted to kill her, because that hadn’t been his intention. However, he had come after her and she hoped that he planned to again out of respect for what she had done for him. She didn’t think he owed her really but it would be nice to not meet death yet.

“Some formula. Knows all. Don’t know specifics. I was given an order. I’m carrying it out.”

Emilie sighed, she understood why these guys frustrated Bucky as the Winter Soldier. They never gave him specifics. The truth was that no one beyond the higher ups probably knew why she was picked off then, and why she was once again being picked apart now. Until she got some real answers she’d blame Luke – the first man to come after her.

“You have nothing against me. Why not let me go?”

This seemed to amuse the man. He had the face of a brute, and scar that trailed from the bottom of his lower lip to somewhere below his chin. She tried not to look him in the face too much, but she wouldn’t dare given him the satisfaction of thinking that she was scared of him. She was far from afraid. She just wanted to get out of this mess with more than a little dignity.

“You killed my comrades. You have to pay for that. You also need to give us some answers.”

“I want my answers first.” She said.

Right before he came at her leg with something that looked very heavy. It was hard to tell what it was when her eyes were clouded by the dripping blood coming from her scalp.

She heard herself screaming but other than that she didn’t utter another word. The metal clanged seconds later, and then she was left alone.

If she was anyone else she would have called for a savior at this point but she was waiting for a trained killer. She’d have to find a way out until he showed up. She believed that he would figure out her note eventually. He was smart. He was trained for this kind of thing.

Once the stinging pain in her leg stopped for a moment she did her best to get to her feet. She wobbled. Her leg felt like it was on fire. It was possible that he had broken her knee. She’d wait until this was over with to figure it out. She rushed forward and then back against the wall trying to break the legs of the chair. The only result was the pain in her back that surfaced.

It didn’t stop her from running towards the opposite wall and trying to run up it so that she could attempt a backflip and land on the ground like they did in the movies. It worked in the sense that it almost didn’t work because of her bum leg. It also effectively caused the man to come back and charge at her. She used her good leg to kick him the crotch and dive to the side so that she could get away from him.

There were a few things the realized once she had gotten out of the room. Her leg was slowing her down, and the place looked completely different. There were several items of furniture that was either missing or completely broken down. Just like how her house was completely trashed. Is that what they did, trashed people’s places to get what they wanted or information that they thought would be useful so that they could figure it out? She was beginning to think that’s what their whole ideal was. LET US TRASH PEOPLE’S LIVES AND THEN MOVE OUT TO REPEAT THE PROCESS.

Sounded like a bunch of bullshit to her.

She couldn’t stay where she was however, so she moved as quickly as she could down the hall and fumbled down the stairs so that she could get through the large windows that were posted near the end of the stairs. She could make it there at least. After that the others will have spotted her.

Once she was there it was clear that getting to safety was going to be much harder than taking out the three in her own house. There were many of them - at least seven - and her brain decided to shut down then.

She felt dizzy as if she was about to collapse. It didn’t help matters that she felt a firm fist land in the center of her spine knocking her down to her knees which only killed her more. She couldn’t get up. She tried to push herself up but the day was starting to get to her. Her head was pounding, her arms felt like Jell-O and she desperately wanted to sleep.

She must have said something about it because she heard the leader mutter something that went along the lines of, “I’ll get you to sleep.”

A few minutes of being dragged by her bad leg (she kicked and kicked at him only to feel her head hit the ground constantly as he moved hurriedly as if he was pressed for time) she met the surface of the water. This woke her up quicker than anything else. However it was hard to move when you had someone holding your body down purposely trying to drown you.

She pushed against his hand as much as she could but it felt like it wasn’t doing anything. The lack of oxygen helped with that. When the burning sensation of her lungs starting to give out on her became too difficult to deal with she started to feel less spirited and completely heavy like lead. She couldn’t move but she didn’t want to stop fighting. This couldn’t be it.

She wanted the pain to stop. It was getting harder to hold on.

She shut her eyes trying to find an ounce of calm in all of this madness. She was dying but she didn’t have to go out feeling like she hadn’t tried.

It was when she was near solitude that she felt herself being pulled from the water. It was more like being yanked but she honestly didn’t care as she began to sputter and trying to get some fresh air into her lungs.

She spotted the metal arm but within an instant he had run off. He was like that when he was on a mission she supposed. She was too busy trying to breath to call out to him.

Someone was at her side though. She lifted her right arm to move her wet hair from the other half of her face. She was met with the worried eyes of Sam Wilson. “You okay?” He asked, inspecting her form for anything that he could do.

She held out a finger to let him know that she needed a minute to get herself together. During that time he moved in front of her to shield her from the other men that were around. She didn’t notice it at first but between the three men that were allies there were at least seven others trying to kill them. The one that had been attempting to drown her or make her sleep as he had threaten just before Bucky had pulled her out, was currently getting his face pummeled in by the Winter Soldier himself.

It was different to see him in this form. It was frightening on some level but for Emilie it made her feel better. She had almost died. But, he had been there for her.

She knew that she wouldn’t be able to stand but she couldn’t just sit there and not try to help them. Sam was fine, Steve had two guys on him – having taken out two already by the position of the bodies – Bucky had just gotten off the leader after asking him something in Russian. He must have understood it because he muttered something before the knife came out and he was killed in one quick motion. The other one was going to cause Bucky some trouble.

Emile wasn’t sure how she had known that but it was what happened. So when Bucky was struggling not to be choked out after getting rid of all the weapons either of them had on them (it had been a weird dance of flinging knives and dodging bullets with non-fatal hits everywhere) before the fight had swiftly moved to hand to hand combat. This was normally a strength of his from what videos she had seen of him brawling with people with the mask on. His opponent was clever though, and knew how to slip through and land his own blows.

It was odd though, they kept talking through this. Bucky was trying to get more information. This man could have been the person under the one who had taken her away. He could have known something. However, when Emilie realized that Bucky was in trouble and could possibly pass out she reacted quickly calling out to the other two men. “Do either of you have a knife on you?”

Steve called back immediately, “A little busy here.”

Sam however drop kicked the guy he was fighting down before doubling back over to her to handing her a pocket knife. It would do the trick.

Steve had a chance to look at the exchange and called over to Sam, “What don’t you carry on you, Sam?”

Sam smiled before he looked over at Emilie as he moved over to his opponent who was still on the ground to check if he was still breathing. Sam seemed the type who would be okay if he didn’t kill a guy. She was of the same mind but sometimes there were circumstances where it had to be done.

Right now for instance.

“Thanks.” She muttered as she pushed herself onto her knees. She winced a little before shifting to her left side to get the pressure off her bad knee.

“Are you sure you’re going to make that shot?” Sam called from where he was standing. He was turned towards Steve who he looked like he wanted to go assist.

“If I can get to my feet…I might.”

He gave her an odd look. “My right knee is shattered. I can barely stand.” She explained.

Sam moved back over to Emilie and put her arm around his shoulder before lifting her off the ground. “I’ll give you thirty seconds then I have to help Cap.”

Sam steered her a little closer in case she needed it. Bucky was about six yards away from where they were standing. It was nearly as much room as it was in her kitchen when she nearly struck him. She could do it again. For Bucky’s sake.

She pulled her arm back as if she was playing football before throwing it. Sam placed her carefully on the ground as the blade entering the man’s head and rushed over to Steve. Bucky rolled away before the body fell on him. He briefly looked back at the man before he zoned in on Emilie. It looked like he knew it was going to be here who saved him. Was it possible that he wanted her to try that knife trick again?

She wasn’t sure. However, he sprinted towards and immediately started asking her question while also looking very concerned. “How did you know I was going to come back?”

Emilie answered with ease. “I didn’t.” It wasn’t the right time to tell him that she had just been hoping. A little bit of wishful thinking never hurt anyone…too badly.

This seem to help him relax and get that frightened look out of his eye for a moment. “You’re a mess.” He muttered.

“Thanks…” She replied, sarcastically to which he just smiled. He was trying to joke with her but she was too tired for it. “Help me up?” She pleaded after a few more moments. It sounded like Steve and Sam were just about done. Her back was to them so she couldn’t be absolutely sure.

The panic set back on his face. He looked down at her legs. “Do you need me to carry you?”

Emilie had a hard time not laughing at him. Last time he hadn’t even asked. Maybe her delirious state had helped this time around. She shook her head instead. “No, just I need you to help me walk. I can’t put on weight on my right side. The knee is shattered. I don’t know for sure but I had a hard time getting out of the house.” She explained.

He moved over to her left side and put her arm around his neck. She hadn’t asked him to pick her up but he did it again for the second time.

She soon found herself in the backseat of Sam’s vehicle with Sam sitting beside her. He had a first aid kit in between them. Bucky was in the passenger seat in the front with Steve driving. He looked back at her a few times as they drove along. Sam administer medical attention to her at stop lights. Her head was his main concern.

“You’ll need an MRI to be safe.” He muttered.

“No hospitals right now.” Steve said.

“I’ll text Sharon.” Sam said in reply.

“She’s not a nurse.” He called as they swerve through the lanes on the highway. Emilie winced at the speed he was going. Her head was killing her.

“Slow down, Steve.” Bucky stated as he looked back at her. Sam was about to tell him but he nodded at his new companion. He was keeping an eye on her. That was good. “She’s hitting her head. She’ll have a concussion at this rate if I’m right, Sam?”

“Yeah. We need to go to the underground facility for tonight.”

“Avoiding Tony?” Steve asked. Sam knew that the man would have a lot of questions and might not enjoy the sign of The Winter Soldier in the Avengers tower or the training space they had in the second building. It was safer for everyone involved if they just laid low for a couple days.

“She’s not going back home Steve.” Sam told him quickly.

“ _No_.” Bucky said staring at Steve with a look of the man who had tried to kill him before. Sam didn’t agree with that method but he understood why Bucky felt that way. Emilie didn’t have a safe place to go back to. It was ill advised to make her return to that place. When it was safe she might be able to pick up what she wanted but she couldn’t really go back.

“I wasn’t going to suggest it…yet.” Steve said carefully.

“She’s staying with me.” Bucky responded quietly.

This made Sam smile. It caused Emilie to open her eyes a little to stare at the back of the dark haired assassin. “Bucky…” She said quietly.

Everyone was quiet for a moment. Bucky was grinning in the front seat though Steve was the only one who could see it. She had called him Bucky again. A small fact that they knew she never did. She was obviously tired.

He answered to it. “What?”

Emilie didn’t answer for a long time. Her eyes had closed again. Bucky and Steve looked at each other briefly, Sam looking over at Emilie briefly before nudging her.

“I called you Bucky again, didn’t I? I’ve had a long day. Can we all just be quiet until we get where ever we’re going? My head is pounding at the moment and this is not helping.”

No one said a word. They all were hoping she didn’t have a concussion or worse.

The dim lights that led the way to the underground facility helped lessen the pain in her head. She was eager to lay down somewhere but knew there was much to be done. The group of people that surrounded the car to make sure that all occupants were going to be okay – all of which were remotely fine except her – told her as much as they helped her onto a gurney.

Bucky stayed at her side during the entire ordeal. Even when the doctors gave him looks and held questions in their eyes as to why he was still there. He stayed out of their way but he was close enough so that she would know that she wasn’t alone. He was still there and he would be until she could stand on her own two feet again.

A few days passed. They wouldn’t let her near a TV, her phone had been destroyed and for the moment she was in a wheelchair until they could get the doctor from England in to put her leg back together. The hellish time was far from over but Emilie felt content. She moved around the space alright on her own.

She had gone through the debriefing process after her MRI which had proved that she had a minor concussion to which it was advised that she try to stay awake for a full day before sleeping at all. Bucky stayed near her for the next 24 hours to make sure she didn’t fall asleep. Even when she really wanted to do nothing more.

The days that followed that very terrible experience found Bucky and Steve in meetings trying to explain things that she wasn’t allowed to know about yet. The only thing she was aware of was that yes, they did concern her but that she didn’t have to worry about it. It was all going to be fine. Sam checked in on her during those long hours. She was usually sleeping or staring at the photographs that the medical team had taken of her when she was inspected.

It didn’t bother her as much as made her have more questions.

When Bucky finally joined her on the floor of the room that they were more or less sharing at this point she finally asked him. “What’s going on Barnes? I think I’ve been kept out of the loop long enough.” She didn’t want to tell him that having Sam check on her was only making her more anxious about what she didn’t already know.

“They just want to find out where you fit with all of the HYDRA stuff. It’s fine.”

“I still don’t know where I fit with that stuff.”

She hadn’t even noticed the file until he plopped it on her lap. She had her very on file. She looked up at Bucky with a look of confusion and weariness. The only words of comfort he had were, “It’s not as big as mine. You’re clean.”

She opened it to see for herself. The pages fell away as she skimmed through it carefully. He had been more or less correct. Under known affiliates there were only two names. James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes and LUKE. Luke having no last name at all. It made her feel sick looking at it.

“Can you tell me what you know about Luke?” She knew he had found something out. He just hadn’t had time to tell her.

He drew in a deep breath before looking at her. “What happened to you with Luke wasn’t an extent of HYDRA at all. To cover up the fact that he had gone after you a civilian they came up with this plan to flush you out once again with the added on bonus that I was living with you at the time. They didn’t know that I was leaving that day. They wanted us both for different reasons. They were going to come after me later but I came for you first.”

Bucky watched her close the file after he finished talking. She tucked it underneath her good leg before fiddling with her hands. A habit he had seen her do only once. She was thinking.

Instead of letting her stew in her thoughts any longer he decided to include another byte of information he thought she should know. “I picked up the things I thought you’d want from your place. Sam came too. He helped me move some of it someplace.”

“Someplace where?” She turned to him so that he could see her face. She was becoming suspicious.

“You don’t have to be cooped up here while we wait for the doctor.” He was still evading the question.

“What aren’t you saying?”

“I got a place. For us to stay. For now.”

“Us?” She whispered.

“I got used to being around you. I don’t think it’ll be easy to break the habit. Steve says it’s good for me.” He grinned at the mention of his best friend. Emilie had to bite down the smile at that. It was good that the ill thoughts of him were diminishing when the two of the guys were spending so much more time together. She was glad he was starting to understand that he could be happy too.

“Nobody thought to ask me?”

“Sam also said that you would probably not like it at first but would like it later because of other reasons he wouldn’t explain.” He paused, his face growing strained as if he was thinking too hard.

Emilie let out a giggle. “Sam Wilson is too observant.”

He grunted. _Go on._

“It’ll come to you later.” She teased.

Bucky groaned. “Emilie.”

“Thank you.” She told him again.

He flinched. Emilie knew that he wasn’t going to get used to hearing words of gratitude for a long time.

“Thank _you_ , Emilie.” He returned.

She quirked her eyebrow at him. She tilted her head. He didn’t go into it any more detail. He just left it at that.

 

**THREE MONTHS LATER…**

Emilie enjoyed the balcony. It was her single most favorite part about the new place. It wasn’t a house but it was good enough for her. She spent most of the time working out her still healing leg while trying to juggle tasks around the house. On days like this – where the air was cool and the streets were quiet – she liked to lean up against the balcony with her eyes closed and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere. Not everything had been like this but she took the moments when she could. More times than not Bucky would end up here as well. Whether that was with her or not she couldn’t say. Sometimes she’d find him there when no one else could find him. He enjoyed it in the same way.

Tonight she had been waiting on a message from him. They had started talking on the phone during his time in the field with Steve. Something big was coming up and she just wanted to know that he was okay. That they were all okay. She had only met Steve and Sam so far but she knew that there were others on their side. They had mention ‘Tony’ before and considering she knew that Tony Stark was both Iron Man and friends with Steve or at least on the same team with him on the Avengers it wasn’t hard to think of the others who were involved with him too. They hadn’t brought Bucky in yet. Mostly because he could disappear within a blink of an eye. The other part was because they weren’t sure how everyone would react to him. He had a history with the woman called Black Widow. The others were hard to pin down.

Emilie had a feeling though.

The tide was shifting and she planned if all things went right with her rehabilitation she would help in any way she could.

Bucky found Emilie where she always was if she wasn’t sleeping on the sofa, or in the bedroom. She looked happy today. A sight that tugged at his chest often. He sidled up next to her so they were just barely touching.

“I didn’t hear you come in.” She spoke. She didn’t look over at him immediately.

He hummed. “I forgot to message you. I’m not used to these things.” He muttered as he patted his pocket where the phone was.

She smiled, her eyes gliding over to look at him. His hair was slightly shorter than it used to be. She missed the messy long hair but it was still long enough to toy with if she wanted to. He was starting to get the beard back which meant the hair would more than likely follow.

“How was it?” He had to go with Steve somewhere.

“You’re right.” Emilie didn’t have to ask what he was referring to, she already knew. Trouble was ahead.

This news made her frown and she slipped behind him. Her head pressed into his back as she slid her arms around his midsection. “You need to be careful, Bucky Barnes.” She mumbled against his shirt.

He reached down to press her hand closer to him. “You too, Emi.”

Neither of them needed to say it out loud but they felt it in the same way they heard the thud of each one’s hearts.

_I’ll protect you. No matter what._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first, thanks for those who stuck with this fic for how long it took me to write this last part. It ended up being a monster in the end. Nearly 15k of words added to the single doc I started the fic in two years ago. WHOA! But, I’m so happy to have done this. 
> 
> With that said I feel like I should note that this is not the end for these two idiots – Emilie and Bucky. I originally planned to end it here in the beginning but certain trailers and movies that are coming out very soon have me very much wanting to add to what’s already here. If you’re wondering will the chapters still being super long? The answer is no. No they won’t. If you’ve read anything else of mine you might see that the longest I ever get chapter wise if it’s a normal chapter is about 3-5k so going forward after I see Civil War I plan to do what we’re going to call Deleted/Bonus Scenes with Emilie, Bucky, Sam and any of the other Avengers that fit into the current scene that I’m trying to work with. Odds are there will be some multiple chapters where I have to extend it a little bit because of plot. Plot is what got me into these huge chapters anyways. 
> 
> These new shots will be mostly fun things that I think of. In fact I’ve already come up with a couple but I want to see if they fit in with what happens in Civil War so I’m going to wait to start it up. BUT, if you love Sam Wilson at all and want the chance to see Emilie and Bucky interacting with others you may want to pay attention to my fic ‘Will to Live.’ There will be cameos and nice things in there that are exclusively Bucky & Sam brotp, Bucky meeting the OC in that story and her reacting to him. Things like that. It’s gonna be a lot of fun in my new universes for these two awesome dudes. 
> 
> I guess the moral of this stupidly long ending note is that this fic won’t be marked as completed here at least. AO3 has it listed as 3/3 because that’s the way I did it but if you pay attention to this then you know there is more to come.
> 
> Can’t seem to let go of these nerds.
> 
> So that’s it for now.
> 
> Let me know what you thought of this ending? Was it okay? Do you have any questions? Tell me. I’d love to hear after I finally did the thing. Thanks! <3 day


	4. Bonus Shot #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set before Emilie's surgery [at the end of the story arc], Bucky finds himself trying to help Emilie out after a particularly bad night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I was gonna wait until May for Civil War but I have a few non canon complaint ideas that I want to give to you guys. This is one of them. I hope you like it.
> 
> <3 day

BONUS SHOT #1

Bucky was no stranger to rough nights. He has spent a large amount of his time after getting out of HYDRA’s grasp up at night or waking in a cold sweat. This didn’t mean he was okay with Emilie starting the cycle about two weeks after they had gotten her out of the mess with some of HYDRA’s lowlifes.

Most of the time she would just wake up and start pacing out in the living room as a way to let him sleep. He usually woke up anyways. If she couldn’t sleep then he didn’t feel alright sleeping. It was some kind of situation that was normal for married couples – or that’s what he had been told. They weren’t that far into this thing they had going but Bucky understood how it could be possible.

They spent so much time together now that they were living in the same space permanently. They slept in the same bed. A choice that had rattled Emilie for the first couple days. Bucky hadn’t minded. Rattling off some bullshit about it being easier for him to find her if something went wrong. She could tell he was lying but didn’t push it because she was exhausted.

They had gotten more comfortable being that close to each other. It helped that they spent half the time kissing or talking about things. Most of the time they were kissing.

Tonight Bucky woke up to the sound of gasping coming from his right. He sat up right and muttered for the lights to come on. The light was dim because of what time of day it was. It was some a new setup that Steve thought would help if one of them was sleeping and didn’t know what time of day it was. There were a lot of new gadgets in the house that he had to grow accustomed to using. He turned to the purple haired woman. She sounded like she was choking on air.

He hopped off the bed to walk around to her other side. He had a feeling that she was just in the dream. A very bad dream but he needed to be sure before he did anything.

The doctors had told him not to wake her up. She was supposed to wade through the moment for the hundredth time. He didn’t like it. More times than not he would touch her face or smooth back her hair. It usually jerked her awake.

Tonight he watched a few seconds longer than usual. Reaching out he touched her shoulder. He applied a slight pressure and shook her as gently as he could. “Emilie…” He whispered.

He had to step a bit closer to the bed when she sat up gasping for air. She sputtered as she tried to get her breathing under control. She nearly fell off from the pillow that was propping up her leg.

She looked at up at him with tears in her eyes before making a grab at her chest as if that would help slow down her racing heart. “Breathe.” He instructed. An echo to her own words to him.

She nodded as she ran a hand through her hair.

Once he was satisfied that she was out of danger he took a seat at the foot of the bed, lifting her leg on his lap. “Drowning?” He asked. He really didn’t have to because he knew. It was the same nightmare she always had. It was the one thing she couldn’t shake from the whole sordid ordeal.

“Yeah…” She sighed. “Sorry.” She always apologized as if she was at fault. It hadn’t been her fault. It had never been her fault.

Instead of telling her to stop he reached out for her hand as he got to his feet. They weren’t going to be able to go back to bed any time soon so they might as well do something. “C’mon.”

“What are we doing?” She asked as she allowed him to wrap one arm around her waist while the other threw her opposite arm around his neck. They made it out to the corridor before he bent down to pick her up. They weren’t in a hurry but Bucky still liked to do things as quickly as possible. It made her smile sometimes.

He took her over to the sofa before ducking into their kitchen. Emilie looked over the back of the couch to see him pulling out the kettle to make tea. “Tea?”

“It’s the only thing that’ll ease your nerves.” He mumbled as he turned on the fire on the stove, and moved over to stand behind her. His hands found her shoulder and he places his head on top of her hair. He tilted slightly to kiss her hair. Emilie’s hand found one of his and lightly patted.

“You’re too good to me, Barnes.” She smiled.

Bucky smirked before he heard the familiar ringing of a phone somewhere in the house. He couldn’t remember where he left his, or if it was the new one they had gotten for Emilie. As he started to go for it, she tightened her hold on his hand. He let it ring with a sigh. They were having a busy night it seemed.

“I know it might be important…” Emilie started.

“That’s a subjective term. You’re important.” He finished quietly.

He let her settle with what he said as the whistle of kettle boiling pulled him away from their embrace. He filed back into the kitchen and finish prepping her cup of tea.

When he brought it back she thanked him with a smile. His eyes trailed towards the corridor then back to Emilie. He decided to stay. If he was really needed they’d send someone to fetch him. He had other things to worry about like the woman in front of him.

Emilie slowly sipped the chamomile and jasmine brew. It was one of her favorites. She looked over at Bucky who was watching her closely. “Thanks.”

He nodded. They were silent for a few moments before Bucky finally said what he had been meaning to say for a week now. He was new to the emotions of wanting to be there for someone all the time. Knowing that they’re hurting is something that he understood a bit too well. As such he had a hard time now wanting to just make things happen. He had to learn to be patient.

Such as now. He took in a deep breath. “Sam has a friend who could help with this…if you wanted to try.”

Emilie looked over at Bucky. She could see the tense pull of his jaw. The way his hands clenched because he was frustrated that there wasn’t much he could physically do. She could see his conflict as clear as day.

“Would it make you feel better if I decided that I would try?”

He didn’t have to tell her but his aggressively nod was enough of an answer. “Okay.”

“You’ve had one every night for the past four days.” He informed her. She knew that it was taking a toll on him.

Emilie placed her cup on the coffee table before sliding over so that she was right beside him. She turned so that she could throw her legs on the couch, Bucky caught her legs and pulled them to situate on his lap. His hands stayed there, touching her.

“I know.” She said with a frown. “If talking with this guy will help. I’ll do it. I’d hate for you to miss some sleep because of me.”

Bucky shook his head. “We’re kind of stuck together now. It doesn’t bother me.”

Emilie looked like something had come to mind. Her eyes lighting up for the barest of moments. Bucky patted her knee with his flesh hand. “What?”

“A song came to mind. It’s silly.”

Emilie had shared a few musical gems that she liked but she never had one that popped into her head because of something he had said to her. He was currently looking at her with an amused expression. “Is it on your music thing?” He was talking about her iPod.

She laughed. “Yes, I haven’t listened to it in a while actually.”

Bucky got up to go retrieve it. It was sitting in the extra room where they had miniature library and Emilie’s laptop set up. They had slowly been adding to the book collection. A small thing that they did together that didn’t involve guns or knife battles. There were even some he remembered from the 40s among the ones already on the shelf. He picked up the media player and walked back out.

Emilie was finishing up her tea when he came back and handed it to her. He hadn’t really tried to work it. He let her mess with it if they were going to listen to something.

She easily found the track and passed him an earbud, she had already tucked the other one in her ear. Once he had done so she pressed play. She watched him as the song played out waiting for his reaction. Bucky was a very intense person when he was trying to take something seriously but by the time he got to the chorus she saw the smile slip onto this face.

It was a silly song. Very catchy but silly.

By the time it was over she could visibly see him laughing.

“I warned you.” She told him.

“It was cute.” He said once he came down from the hysterics.

“What can I say?” She joked.

Bucky pressed his forehead against hers. “That’s not the word I would use to describe you.”

Emilie eyes widen. “Oh?” It was very rare for her to get Bucky into a romantic sense. It just wasn’t who he was anymore. He had mentioned that he used to be very invested in the women. A playboy in a sense but also not in the typical way you would think. He was a romantic guy. She knew that. However, he kept their moments between the two of them.

“Breathtaking…” He whispered right before kissing her.

Emilie had to not laugh at his choice of words due to how ironic they were in that moment when he was the one literally taking her breath away.

“You’re such a charmer, Bucky Barnes.” She whispered right before there was a knock at their door. There really was no getting out of not answering. Emilie sighed patting his cheek before gesturing for him to go get it.

They really weren’t going to bed any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Emilie gets Bucky to listen to is 'Stuck Like Glue' by Sugarland. I've had that song picked for a long time. He would find it amusing. And apparently it came out in 2010 which I feel like wasn't super long ago. That's the year I graduated high school. Oh dear...
> 
> Anyways hope you guys enjoyed this little look into our two nerds. If you have something you really want to see let me know and I'll see what I can do if I'm not already planning to do it!


	5. Bonus Shot #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As part of Emilie’s PT she sees a shrink. After one particularly rough session she comes home and Bucky has to figure out what’s the best way to get her to unwind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent a lot of yesterday writing out ideas for these shots in my idea notebook and this was the last one I came up with. I don't remember what caused it but I couldn't let it go so this is the next one. I'm really happy about it though because I was able to spin so it didn't turn out to be so angsty. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like it. Please let me know what you thought!
> 
> <3 day

BONUS SHOT #2

**‘Release’**

_[As part of Emilie’s PT she sees a shrink. After one particularly rough session she comes home and Bucky has to figure out what’s the best way to get her to unwind]_

* * *

 

The home that Bucky and Emilie had made for themselves had become as much of a safe haven on days when the world was choosing to shit on everything, as any other time. At least that’s how Emilie felt when pushed the door opened and immediately was faced with Bucky looking subdued but expectant.

“How’d it go?” He asked.

Emilie huffed as she tossed her bag on the couch and started down the hallway, muttering, “I need to punch the bag a little.” She could hear him on her tail but she kept going anyways. She took off her coat as she entered the small room that they had changed into a training room – slash – gym for at home workouts and the like.

It didn’t take very long for her to walk right over to the heavy punching bag and began pummeling it like it was someone’s face. Bucky stayed a few feet away and watched her.

Something had happened at the appointment that had her on edge. He needed her to give him something so that he could help. He gave her a few minutes at the bag before he flanked her on the right and carefully touched her hip.

It elicited the reaction he figured it was. She grabbed his forearm and knocked him back. She wasn’t pissed at him. He knew that but it was at least a step in the direction they needed to go. He didn’t mind helping her let off some steam. He could end it when the time was right.

Thus, he dodged and deflected several very aggressive uppercuts and kicks she threw at him up until the point where he misjudged the angle and she tripped him. He saw a small smile on her face before he went for her ankle and yanked her down. She fell just two feet away, cursing as she started to get back up but he rolled over and pinned her arms down.

Emilie stared up at him. He wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t really looking any kind of way besides concerned about how she was. It wasn’t a foreign circumstance for Bucky to be worried about her. He was always worried in some way. They couldn’t stay in a constant era of bless forever. If history was anything go by. Something was going to happen, and it appeared it had started to cause some discord with his girlfriend.

“Emilie…” He breathed looking at the solemn expression that surfaced once again on her face. He had noticed it before when she had unlocked the door to come inside. She was close to tears.

His hands left her hands and traveled up her shoulders until he was lifting her neck off the floor and combing his hands through her hair. He stared at her with a pensive look on his face. She turned her face so that her mouth was pressed into his wrist. She mumbled, “Sorry.”

He wasn’t sure which part she was apologizing for, but he didn’t think she needed to apologize. Sometimes she was the one who had trouble communicating. It was how things went sometimes.

“What happened?” He asked quietly.

“He was pushing for information about you. I may have made a scene and fled.” It sounded silly to Emilie’s own ears but she also knew that Bucky would understand why she was so upset. She didn’t want to give anyone the ammunition to use against her or him for that matter. It did sound suspicious that someone was fishing for information about him when they were supposed to be talking about Emilie.

“Well, what would you like to do about it?”

“Didn’t you say there was a friend of Sam’s?” Bucky had to think for a moment before nodding. He couldn’t remember the woman’s name but she was a special therapist. They could get Sam to get her to visit before deciding on anything.

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Anything else?” He was giving her the opportunity to spill anything else that she needed to before he pulled her to her feet.

He watched her think about it for a few seconds. He decided to tell her a secret while he was waiting for her. “I don’t particularly like shrinks. Never have. I was surrounded by neurologists when they took me out of the cryogenic chamber. It was just as unnerving. I decided that I would deal with my problems on my own once I realized that they had been lying to me about who I was and who I was connected to. I needed the answers that they weren’t going to give me.”

Emilie turned slightly so that they were facing each other once again. “Then you found me.”

He grinned.

“I’ve never really liked talking about my problems. It’s invasive.” She paused briefly. “Granted, you made me lay it all on the table because you were trying to figure me out. I could have told you to go to hell. You’re different. You weren’t exactly searching for something to pick me apart with. That’s what it feels like. Almost like a live operation with someone waiting for you to bare it all except you’d rather keep it to yourself.”

In Bucky’s case, everything about him was public knowledge. There was even an exhibit of him and Steve at the Smithsonian. That had been strange for him, but informative at the same time. Well, not everything but most of the things he needed to know straight away.

“At least your brain wasn’t fried.” He mumbled. His jaw tense. She could tell he was thinking of the last time he let HYDRA wipe his memory. He hadn’t much of a choice.

“Hey.” She whispered lowly. “That won’t happen again.” She was being hopeful about that. Anything could happen. From what she knew there was a switch that could revert him back to that blank version of himself where it didn’t matter that he was human; a killing machine would take his place. She hated thinking about it.

Bucky did too. “You have more than just me on your side now, Barnes.” She reminded him.

Besides Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson, she remembered a conversation she had had with Clint Barton who had experience with brainwashing. It had changed his perspective. He had been the most understanding out of the couple members of the Avengers that she had been allowed to meet. It helped that Clint was a very understanding man overall to be around. He had said something sarcastic to Bucky that had made The Winter Soldier smile. He was one of the few that they could count on.

She briefly thought about calling him up. She knew that he was spending some time with his family. She shelfed the idea, not wanting to disturb his peace. He’d find his way back to the circle soon enough.

“I know. It’s just…” He paused, taking a deep breath. “You know how you’re awkward around the other girls because you don’t do anything crazy well beyond the knife throwing?”

Emilie rolled her eyes at him. “Unfortunately. What of it?”

“That’s how it feels sometimes if I’m the only one around. If I’m not at Steve’s or here I feel out of place. It’s not always a bad thing. I’m good at blending in and disappearing when I need to. For the missions, Emilie.” He added noticing the way she was looking at him. She didn’t like when he started discussing going dark. It had come in handy for both of them a few times, so it wasn’t like it was all bad.

 

 

“Did the war teach you that?” They rarely went into his time in the war. Many of the reasons why he had the metal arm in the first place stemmed from that time in his life. He had gotten better at talking about it. Sometimes Steve would mention something and she’d watch Bucky fold back into himself for about two minutes before making a joke about it. She knew that Steve realized it but it was Bucky defending himself from harm. No one was going to hurt him like that.

Emilie looped her arms around his neck so that he was at a more comfortable angle. He bent his head down so that he was nearly touching her face. “I don’t think so. I was good at recon and shooting people from far distances obviously, but I never had a reason to really hide before. Maybe when I became the Soldier a part of my normal self started peeking out in the only way he knew how and made it easier for me to adapt. That or the street clothes I chose to wear.” He chuckled.

“I never asked but where did you get those clothes?” She had eventually bought him more clothes while they were living in her house before everything gotten shaken loose and that wasn’t a safe place for either of them. They had gone into a few shops together since then and found a balance in what he was comfortable in putting on. Turned out he liked the dark hoodies and boots. Anything that had accessible pockets that he could store things in. It was the war hero peeking out. Emilie still had to try not to smile when she thought of it.

Bucky tucked his face into her neck and whispered, “It’s easier to grab things when no one pays you any mind.” In other words he stole it.

Emilie rolled her eyes. “You haven’t stole anything else since right?”

He lifted his head only slightly and whispered, “Nothing important…to civilians.” Documents and weaponry was heavily implied.

Emilie thought on that for a moment. As she was beginning to figure out what she wanted to ask him next he had his arms around her waist and he had rolled them over to the far side of the room. His hands were shielding her. What did he hear that had broken the moment?

The sound of the door beginning to open had both of them in alert.

“Oh, there you two are. Sorry about your front door.” Steve Rogers said looking embarrassed.

Bucky helped Emilie off the ground. “Why did you knock our door in, Steven?” Emilie sighed with hands on her hips.

“I called and didn’t get any answer. Then I tried knocking and neither of you opened the door so I panicked.” Neither of them had their phones on them. Emilie’s was in her bag on the couch where she left it, and more than likely Bucky had forgotten to charge his and it was probably in their room somewhere. He didn’t use it when he was in the house. If anyone wanted to contact him they’d usually come by or pester Emilie because he had forgotten about the device.

Bucky let out a sigh. “This room is special. Unless you forgot it has a barrier of protection so that whoever’s inside won’t be disturb by outside distractions.”

Steve looked down and laughed. “I’m sorry, Buck. What were you two doing anyways?”

Emilie looked at Bucky. He ruffled her hair playfully. “Wrestling.” He joked.

Steve’s face turned red. He had obviously thought they were talking about something else. Emilie swatted Bucky’s hand. “He’s joking. I had a rough day so I ended up sparring with him and then we were talking in a similar position so okay maybe Bucky had a point you were interrupting something.”

Bucky chuckled at the way Emilie had spun that one. He had been working up to something before Steve barged in not that either of them knew that really. He needed to improve his timing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't thought much of doing any smut for these two but it wouldn't be beyond me now to make it happen at some point. But, it's not on my radar yet. Post Civil War though might be a good time for that kind of thing. 
> 
> Many of the ideas I penned down relate to Civil War possibilities and BuckyEmi action sequences because let's be honest those two are good at that kind of thing. Not to get your hopes up but after the next chapter I think we'll be going into CW territory. I just have this feeling about it which I can't completely share yet unless I change my mind but it might be heading in that direction. 
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed this. <3


	6. Bonus Shot #3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a protective measure Bucky takes Emilie out to learn more about shooting a gun with precision. Paired with her knife skills he thinks it will be a great comfort should they have to go through being separated again. Plus, a special appearance by someone who is connected to Tony Stark.

BONUS SHOT #3

‘Target Practice’

[ _In a protective measure Bucky takes Emilie out to learn more about shooting a gun with precision. Paired with her knife skills he thinks it will be a great comfort should they have to go through being separated again_ ]

* * *

 

Emilie had a few things that made Bucky Barnes really endearing to her. Little ticks or actions that he did that made him seem really intense and lovable at the same time. In fact it was this pair of decisive traits that made her want to be able to protect him too. Of course she hadn’t planned on them cohabiting together permanently at the time but she knew who he wanted to be. She had understood that when he hadn’t even got there yet.

He had a passion that he kept locked up as to not expose to any outside forces who were trying to push their way in. Of course that didn’t mean certain people didn’t see it. Emilie knew it was there. Steve got glimpses of it when he was around but he tried to keep it locked for purposes like this when he wanted to try to explain himself to her.

“I want to keep you save.” He had begun. They were having a late breakfast after he had come home practically covered in dirty and something red that the both of them knew was blood from someone who had to kill for some reason or another.

Emilie hadn’t smiled when he said that. She looked at him in understanding. They had been in this place before. Where he didn’t exactly say it, but it was heavily implied. With everything that was beginning to happen it wasn’t too far off to dream that something was worrying him and he wanted to try to assess it quickly before he lost his chance.

“You’re special to me. Not like Steve is. He’s…” He paused as if he was still trying to figure out the right word to describe the friend he’s hand for over seventy something years. “He’s a different special, I guess. What I’m trying to say is that I want to teach you how to shoot.”

Emilie had to laugh at that. “I do know how to use a gun, Barnes.”

He grinned back at her. “You’re not as good as me.” He paused watching her reaction. Emilie just rolled her eyes at him. She was used to him boasting about his skills, so it didn’t even phase her when he just casually said it like that. “Besides, you’ll need more than your knife to get things done.”

She knew that he was right. “Where do you suppose we will find space to do this?” She was implying if either of them had time to do it. Emilie usually had time. There wasn’t anything on her agenda for the day. Bucky could go at any second.

“I know a place.”

“A non-SHIELD or government affiliated place?” She wanted to be sure.

He nodded. “We are trying to be a discreet as possible, Emilie.”

“Plus, you don’t want me to harm anyone.” She laughed.

“I didn’t say that.” He smiled. _You did_.

Emilie shook her head at him as she finished her coffee. “When are we doing this?”

“It’ll take at least an hour to get there.” Emilie stared at him full on. There was only one place she knew that he could have thought of. She wouldn’t ask him about until she saw what he had already set in motion. If she knew anything about Bucky Barnes it was the fact that he had already put everything together and just was waiting for the right moment to talk to her about it.

She didn’t say anything else as they finished breakfast. She missed the way Bucky’s face was set in a half smile with a bit of a tense in between his brows as he tried to focus on the good portion of this moment. What he wouldn’t do for her.

When she looked up at him she frowned. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. It wasn’t anything that she didn’t already know. Yet, she got up and moved behind him wrapping her arms over his shoulder and tucking her nose into his neck. “I’m not going anywhere.” She reminded him.

Bucky closed his eyes. Relaxing slightly as he reached up and grasped her arm. “Yeah.”

Emilie’s earlier thought seemed to be right. They ended up at the family summer house which looked different than the last time they had been here with Sam and Bee. Or even long before that. Someone had come and altered pieces of it. Her eyes trailed to the large lay of land directly behind it. There were a course set up.

She turned to Bucky who was unbuckling his seat belt. He placed his hands back on the steering wheel and let them pad a beat as he waited for her to say something. “You come here often?”

Bucky would have laughed if it wasn’t meant in a genuine sense. He nodded, turning towards her. “It’s still your place. Don’t see why we don’t make a better use of it.”

The last two times she had been here had been because of a life or death situation. The first one when she had broken her knee and practically drowned if Bucky, Steve, and Sam hadn’t come for her and the second, after the attack at the party. She had made it out alive both times minus a few bumps and bruises. This felt different though. They were trying to make a better memory.

Emilie reached out and took one of his hands, and entwined their fingers. Bucky squeezed her hand knowing she needed a little more reassuring. She squeezed back after a moment, she nodded at him.

They separated to get out of the car. She waited for him by the lake as he went to grab his supply case that was filled with ammunition a wide variety of guns. She didn’t want to know where he had pilfered all of those from. They were more than likely untraceable. He wouldn’t let her handle anything that could get traced back to her. Or him for that matter.

“Breathe.” He instructed her as he bumped her shoulder and they headed on back.

“For the first time you’re making me nervous.” She admitted as she watched him unpack the large case he had brought out as they stopped at a table that was set up a few yards away from the course that had targets and dummies at different points.

Bucky laughed. “So this is what it takes then, huh? Your will to go with anything attitude had worried me for a while there.”

He was still joking with her but she could tell there was some truth to what he was saying. She had never been afraid to do things to help him or herself. She had a self-preservation part about her that she had never been able to let go of because of LUKE. It was necessary to have it now when she was around super soldiers and super heroes. Especially when people were trying to kill those people.

“It’s still there.” She told him.

“I know. If it wasn’t this would be infinitely harder for me.” She didn’t ask him what he meant by that until he had placed a gun in her hand. It was a pistol. They were going to start small and work their way up.

He positioned her behind a barrier. Then he moved around it.

“Barnes.” She said watching him move out into the field. She was confused, and starting to have a bad feeling about this. “What the hell are you doing?” She asked him once he had stopped in front of one of the dummies. He stayed at his full height, there was still some room that left the area where a kill shot could be taken on the target.

“Giving you an incentive to hit your mark.” He wasn’t smiling. He had gone into that mode of his where he was very serious and you would know it if you looked at his eyes. Very tense.

“I’m not going to shoot you.” She said.

“No, you’re not.” He agreed with her. “Aim for the head, and don’t stop until you do.” He stayed very still as he waited for her to try to take the first shot. He had purposely chosen a target that was somewhere in the middle in distance from where Emilie was and where he wanted her first attempt to be. It wasn’t easy by any means but it’d give him some ground on how to proceed.

Emilie drew in a deep breath as she lifted the gun to train it on her target. She pulled the trigger. It missed just barely. She tried it a few more times before she hit just to the left of Bucky’s ear. That produced a smile from him.

Emilie tried to not laugh. It was so reminiscent of the first knife throw that she was amused that she wasn’t even aiming to do that.

He gestured for her to try once more. He must have known that she was going to land it because he began walking away as she hit the dummy square in the head. He took off into a run, yelling “next one” before he ducked behind a target.

This wasn’t safe by any means but she continued on this route. The actual targets were easier for Emilie to hit. He mixed his time between standing behind those and being the center of attention when he wanted her to hit a dummy. Not only was he working on her kill shots, he explained a few other ways she could eliminate an enemy without going for the head. Some of which she already knew from fighting with knives in close combat. It was the same for both.

They were nearing their second hour of this when something happened. Something that wasn’t supposed to happen or at least Emilie didn’t want it to. She hit his arm.

Bucky had been good at deflecting shots that got a little too close to him. However, he had told her to pick up the pace as to not hesitate when she needed to disarm someone. And thus it happened.

She had initially hit over his head but then the next shot that she took hit his metal arm near the shoulder. Bucky made a noise of pain. She had never really been able to tell how that arm was connected to him. It had to have something to do with the nerves for him to react that way.

She started to move over the barrier to check on him when he let out a loud, “No, it’s fine. Finish it.”

Emilie hesitated. She really wanted to make sure that he was okay. He had returned to his full height. He looked annoyed – not at her – but otherwise wanted her to continue.

She made the shot count at least and took down the intended target, plus any of the ones remaining. Then she had Bucky staring at her with that look of shock on his face that he occasionally got when something happened that he wasn’t expecting.

“Now you have no more excuses for me not to come over there.” She told him. She placed the gun down on the table before jumping over the barrier and walking towards him. He joined her halfway.

“You work better when things get difficult.” He mumbled as she inspected his arm. He knew that there wasn’t anything she could do about the arm. She didn’t know where to start looking but they had another trip they had to make.

“I tend to do that when I’m worried about you.” She let out a sigh. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to break your arm.”

Bucky used his flesh hand and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “It was a good shot. I wouldn’t call it broken exactly.” He paused looking at her. She was feeling really bad about it. “Hey, didn’t you say you had a friend was good at this kind of stuff?”

Emilie smile softly. “I’ll drive.”

Once they had everything loaded up again Bucky got into the passenger seat and let out a sigh. “I haven’t really driven a lot but I miss it.” He told her.

“You look good in the driver’s seat.” She told him, unabashedly.

Bucky watched her for a couple of minutes as they drove out into the highway. He had the feeling this was going to be a very long drive. “Where are we headed?”

“Tennessee.”

Emilie carefully woke Bucky up once she had gotten in touch with her friend to meet at his secret base. Or at least that’s what he called it. The kid was in his early teens and wanted to seem important. He was a sweet kid.

“We’re here.” She told him with a smile.

Bucky noticed she looked tired but happy to have arrived in their destination. It probably would have been easier if they could have flew down to Tennessee but that was a safety hazard with Bucky’s arm. He wouldn’t have been able to get through the security.

“We’re getting a room when this is over.” He told her. “You’re exhausted.” He continued on with a frown.

Emilie shrugged as they got out the car and headed into an unmarked building. It wasn’t very large but it was fairly out of place on the street of homes that littered both sides. This struck Bucky as odd but he followed Emilie into a side door and down two corridors to get to the room that they were trying to get to. It occurred to him that she knew exactly where she was going. She had been here before.

Her friend turned out to be a teenage boy with a knack for engineering that almost rivaled Tony Stark. Bucky didn’t tell him that but it was obvious Stark probably knew him.

While he worked on Bucky’s arm with a look of utter excitement, Emilie asked him to not tell anyone they had come here. “Not even The Mechanic?” He asked pausing to look up at Emilie.

“Especially not him.” From Emilie’s tone this Mechanic person was someone she didn’t like.

“Who is that?” Bucky asked.

“Tony.” She replied simply.

The boy who name he noticed was Harley from the shirt he was wearing looked up at Emilie in exasperation. “No one is supposed to know that. So don’t go spreading that around, Ms. Timothy.”

Emilie for her part relaxed and ruffled his hair. “I know. Which is why I don’t ever bring it up in conversation. Also Tony wouldn’t approve of you helping us.”

This seemed to distress the little boy for a few moments. “But, I don’t mind helping friends of Captain America’s. He’s cool too.”

“So you do know who I am?” Bucky mumbled in surprise. The kid was younger than both of them and yet he knew about Tony and Steve.

“Of course. Bucky Barnes, best friend to Captain America until you almost died and were brainwashed by enemy no. 1 HYDRA. Now you’re alive and sure that you’re on Cap’s side.” He paused as he moved away to grab one of his gadgets to get in-between a wire that his fingers couldn’t grasp on its own. “Right?” He sounded hopeful.

Bucky was glad to affirm that for him. “Yeah. That’s right.”

Emilie smiled at Bucky. It must have made him happy to hear someone say something good about him.

“I do have a question though.” He mumbled as he began tapping away on the gadget that he was using to relay instructions on what to do inside of Bucky’s arm.

“Okay.” Bucky said, assuming he was talking to him still.

However, Harley turned to Emilie.

“How did you start dating The Winter Soldier?”

Bucky would have loved to take a photo of Emilie’s face. He settled for laughing.

Her face was bright red as she tried to come up with a way to explain it. She didn’t even ask how he knew that they were together in that way. “Well…he kind of found me in his journey to reuniting with Captain Rogers.”

Bucky had to try not so smile at her phrasing. It wasn’t the easiest story to get through from start to finish.

“She helped me find him is what she means. The other thing – dating her – came after that by chance.” Bucky didn’t believe in chances but it was better than explaining that Emilie had nearly got herself killed trying to protect him from HYDRA’s clutches. That wasn’t something a kid should have to think about.

“Cool.”

He was a weird kid, but Bucky was grateful that he was so willing to help them out. By the end of it he had left an offer to do something for Harley if he ever needed it, no questions asked.

Emilie thought that was very sweet of him.

“He fixed my arm.” He told her simply.

“You also happened to like Harley. He’s hard not to like.” She told him as they settled into the bed for the night in the motel that they had found in the city.

Bucky didn’t confirm or deny that but let her think what she wanted. A happy Emilie was a good Emilie for Bucky to be around. She very rarely got upset.

He would remember the look on her face right before everything turned to shit again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys it was really important I got this chapter out before Civil War. It is the last one before our Civil War connected stuff starts. So next time you see an update we going head first into this shit and we'll finally see how it all connects between this universe and all my best laid plans for BuckyEmi. I'm so excited.
> 
> I really hope you liked this. What did we think of Harley being the friend I hinted about so long ago? I was really excited to finally have a reason to have that interaction come about. For anyone who is curious it's about when Harley is 13-14 years old. Because I went to look it up and they said he was in his pre-teens and I figured this would be a few years after Iron Man 3 so he's in his teens when they meet with him. I figured he'd be really thrilled to meet another super hero even if Tony probably wouldn't like him meeting Bucky. Hence why he has another secret to keep. I feel like he will end up coming back in at some point. I'm not sure when yet but I think it would be really cool to have Harley be integrated in there somewhere else.
> 
> Also the attack I'm referencing with Sam & Bee is from what's currently going on in my Sam fic 'Will to Live.' They're currently back at the Timothy summer home for a little R&R so if you want back ground on that it's in there. I should be adding the new chapter for that soonish.
> 
> Anyways let me know what you guys thought, please!
> 
> <3 day


	7. Civil War - Part 1

**4/8**

CIVIL WAR ARC – PART 1

Some mornings were better than others. At least that’s how Emilie felt when waking up for the day. Nothing had seemed any different. She had had a quiet night alone since Bucky had agreed to spend a night with Steve I one of their rare moments of downtime.

Emilie had already showered, she was waiting on Bucky to come out after he had ended up waking her up at six-thirty when he came home. He hadn’t meant to wake her but it was one of those things that happened suddenly when you felt someone in the same room as you when you thought you were alone.

Steve had already left on his run leaving Bucky to sleep in.

Most mornings found Emilie on her laptop looking over news articles while she ate her breakfast. The activity made her feel older than the late twenties she was currently in. It helped keep her centered to the world and what was going on outside of this little apartment.

She had tried to skip over the main page but when she noticed Bucky’s name ‘James Buchanan Barnes’ she hurriedly skimmed over the article before finding a video. It was titled ‘Winter Soldier Attack’

“Bucky Barnes!” She yelled for him as she pushed her laptop off of her, putting her bowl of cereal on the ground so that she could get to her feet. It wasn’t long before she started pacing, nor was her wait for him to get out of the shower and rush across the back of the couch to get to her.

His hair was dripping wet. The towel he had slung around his shoulders did little to catch the droplets as he stopped her from moving away from him. His hands pressed against her face.

“You’re shaking.” He told her. The pensive expression on his face as he tried to figure out what was wrong nearly made her want to cry. She managed to hold it together for about a minute.

“You’re in the news.”

“What?” He bit back as he slowly let her go to swivel over to the open laptop on the couch. He took a seat and began to look over the webpage.

“This wasn’t me.” He told her quietly. His eyes flickering up to see what she was thinking. She still looked terrified.

“How do you know that?”

He didn’t miss a beat in trying to comfort her. “I was with you when that happened.” He turned the monitor towards her so that she could see it. The footage was marked a few days ago.

“Then what’s happening, _James_?”

Bucky drew in a deep breath at her choice to use his first name. It was one of the signs he had collected that told him just how pissed she was. She only ever used it when she was distressed or angry. He would bet the former at the moment but the things that he was about to share with her would most likely cause her temper to make an appearance.

“C’mere.” He placed her computer next to him and outstretched his flesh hand to her. He watched her hesitate for the briefest of moments before she stepped towards him and took his hand. He pulled her so that she was standing in front of him, in between his legs.

“I’m probably about to piss you off but first do you remember that meeting Steve & Sam had with the other Avengers a few days that I couldn’t go to because I’m not one of them?”

Emilie could read between the lines there. Tony Stark didn’t want to accept Bucky or any of the resources he could bring to the team. Leaving Bucky in the dark much of time because it put Steve in a bad place. It didn’t mean that Steve didn’t try to be subtle about point Bucky in the direction that they were going. More times than not he would stay close by without doing anything. As much as he would love to be there with Steve he knew that it was impossible currently.

No one officially apart from Steve or Sam had brought him into the fold either. He had acquaintances on the inside of course. Both Hawkeye & Black Widow were amicable with him, despite the handful times previously where he tried to kill Natasha.

She nodded.

“They were asked to sign something that restricts what they can do. Had something to do with their previous missions where civilians had been accidentally killed in the crossfire.”

_Washington D.C., New York, Sokovia_ …

There had been another but Bucky hadn’t been involved beyond D.C.

“Steve nor Sam signed.” She told him.

He grunted. “What does that have to do with you?”

He shook his head. “Not sure yet but I need to tell you about something that might eventually connect with this attack. No one knows but me and now you because I want you to know.”

Emilie could tell form his reaction to having to discuss this at all that this was one of those big things that they didn’t talk about ever. They had unofficially termed it ‘Soldier Stuff.’

She used the hand he wasn’t holding to tuck some of his behind his ear. “Tell me.”

“I’m not the only Winter Soldier.”

One of the things that worried him about Emilie was that she gave nothing away when you were telling her something. She stood there listening to him explain everything that he remembered from Siberia without saying word. She had hand in his hair. She only moved it when she could tell he was struggling. A small massage there to anchor him to her and the situation they were in.

When he was done he expected her to pull away from him. Telling her that someone was spilling blood in his name wasn’t something he was happy about either. But, he found some solace in her staying put.

“So…” She started smoothing his hair down in the back as she finally opened her mouth to respond. “You think it could be one of these other soldiers?”

“Maybe. I didn’t exactly stay in touch with any of them. They should still be in Siberia for all I know. Frozen like I was.” He paused. “What are you thinking?”

He watched her mouth twitch as she tried to come to some semblance of how she felt. “I don’t know what to think.” That’s when she took a small step back from him. He had expected that much. She didn’t move much further so he counted that as a good sign. She ran a hand through her hair as she looked at him.

“I’m not leaving you.” She told him quietly. He could hear the strain in her voice. She was going to fight him on it if possible.

Bucky sighed, knowing that she had already figured out that he needed her to leave him to fix whatever this was without her. It was dangerous. Getting her away from this – from him – was the best solution for the time being. It was clear that she didn’t want that. Hell, neither did he but he didn’t want to have to watch her get killed because of him.

“ _Emilie_.” He got to his feet and moved towards her. He was pleading with her.

“ **No**.” She could plead with him too.

Neither of them paid any mind to the door opening where Steve & Sam were standing just behind the threshold. They peeked the two of them having a very serious conversation. It wasn’t the best time for this but Steve put his hand out to stop Sam from moving inside as he watched Bucky speak to Emilie. They were equally pissed off about something. He would bet money that Emilie had found the article.

“James. I can’t.” He heard Emilie tell him.

Bucky had been right before. Emilie was definitely upset now.

“She calls you James?” Sam asked as he decided to break the tension.

“Only when she’s upset.” Bucky answered without looking away from Emilie. He bent down so that he could speak to her quietly. “You have to go. If Steve is here already, trouble isn’t far behind.”

Steve had gotten close enough to discern what was going on. “Em, please. Buck is right about this one.”

Great now she had two super soldiers trying to look out for her. She hated it.

Instead of replying to either of them she sidestepped them both and started towards the bedroom.

Bucky ran his hand over his face in frustration. He knew they had to get out of there but he had to work this out first.

He swiveled around without saying a word to either of the guys and followed the trail that Emilie had started.

“They gonna be okay?” Sam asked with his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“Hope so. They just love each other a lot. Makes this one especially hard.”

Sam nodded. He still needed to make a phone call himself.

 

Bucky found Emilie already throwing things in a bag. He shut the door behind him before joining her at the dresser. He picked out a pair of jeans, socks, his red Henley and made sure to grab his coat out of the closet.

“I’m going to Clarissa’s.” She told him as he began changing his clothes. She wasn’t happy but in the moments she had alone she must have accepted that this is what had to be done.

Bucky tried to be as quick as he could with changing all the while watching Emilie finish up packing. There was a second bag in addition to the one she was packing for herself. He knew it was for him. She had packed his first. It was things like this that made this worse for him.

He slipped behind her and leaned his head down so that he was pressed into her back and he drew in a deep breath. He knew he couldn’t make any promises here but he could try his hardest to make it back to her alive.

Emilie slowly turned around and wrapped her arms around his waist. It was such a familiar moment that he nearly was trapped in a sense of déjà vu. The last time he had left her first. It was her turn.

“I don’t agree with any of this.” She mumbled into his chest.

“I know.” He pulled back enough that he could cup his hands around her face. He didn’t want to remember that look on her face. She was holding back tears.

‘I don’t want to give them a chance to use you against me.”

“I’m not much of a bargaining chip.”

He shook his head at her. She had no idea just how much she was wrong about that. He didn’t have enough time to tell her. He could hear commotion on the floor of their building. She had to move.

“Out the window.” He urged her. He picked up her bag for her.

She opened the window without saying a word.

“There’s a car. Take it. We’ll take yours.”

Emilie knew this was the last time they were going to see each other for quite a while. She turned slightly to look at him over her shoulder.

“James.” This time her voice was soft. A caress of yearning.

He grunted, not trusting himself not to change his mind and ask her to stay. Or to kiss her and make her miss the window of time. He couldn’t do it.

“Check your wallet, and don’t die.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He watched her jump down. She hit the curb in a run. He waited until she got into the car to walk towards the door. Steve was there and he could hear Sam stalling for time in the front of the apartment.

He slipped on his backpack.

“Let’s go.” He mumbled.

“No killing.” Steve tried to remind him.

“I don’t do that anymore.” It didn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt someone for getting in his way. The last person he had voluntarily killed had tried to drown his girlfriend. This time someone was sullying his name. It was going to get messy, that much he was sure of.

 

Emilie had a backup phone. An old one that she didn’t use for anything. She had never had a reason until today when she had to contact her great aunt. She focused on trying to settle the older woman down when she mentioned that Bucky was in trouble and had sent her away to protect her. She had just tried to laugh it off until she found herself crying on the interstate that would take her to another part of her life.

She had been able to hold off on the display of emotions until she had gotten off the phone. Then she was on her own and she felt utterly out of it. It was a true miracle that she managed to keep driving until she got to her destination.

It was quiet when she arrived. Her aunt lived in one of the quietest cul-de-sac in existence. Emilie found herself missing the city almost in the same moment. She would have normally appreciated the solitude but her head wasn’t in it.

She took a deep breath as she reached around for her bag that she had placed in the backseat. She climbed out of the car once she had had it in her possession. Clicking the lock in place in one solid movement.

It was a good thing Sam had left the keys in. He had probably thought he would have gotten in and out of their apartment with no problems. That hadn’t happened.

She let out a sigh as she looked at the small garden that was near the front door. She started to move forward to head inside when something forced her back. A blast knocked her down the driveway where she hit her head on one of the circles that surrounded a patch of flowers – it was made out of several kinds of rocks.

She groaned, pushing herself into a sitting position despite the fact that her head hurt. What she could see had her kneeling on the ground. The house was on fire, and so was the hood of the car. She couldn’t do anything but focus on the house where her family was inside.

Another explosion from the back of the house had her covering her mouth in shock. She was aware that she probably should get up but she couldn’t. She felt weak and tired, as if she there wasn’t anything else that could keep her from getting up.

She should have noticed the smoke billowing from the house itself or the two others on each side that had also been blown in the wake of the first explosion. It was green and heavy like smog. It wouldn’t be long before it covered the area.

She wept. She couldn’t focus on anything of real importance here. Her family was gone. Everyone had been inside besides her. No one would have been able to make it out. They wouldn’t have known that was coming. She certainly hadn’t been expecting it.

She was caught in her emotions and the pain she was feeling. She was feeling dizzy with the effects of everything that had transpired in the past four hours. Now this. It was no surprise that she just passed out from the fumes.

It didn’t register until much later that it could have killed her if that’s what the person behind this had wanted. They wanted to scare her while taking away the only thing that she had left that wasn’t a super soldier named Bucky. She would hate to break it to him but they were coming after her no matter how much he thought she would be safe away from him.

The sound of handcuffs being placed on the purple haired woman’s wrists was barely noticeable to the sirens in the distance as two men in military uniforms carted her away in an unmarked vehicle. They had been waiting for her. This was a part of the plan. Not that she had known that. This was supposed to be her safe place. Now that was gone too in a blaze of fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> So first things first this is going to be a different take on Civil War events as you can probably tell. It's a different universe so bare with me if you don't see a certain part in this. I'm only using the parts that make sense for what I have planned. I hope that's okay. It's going to be very different. I'll tell you that much.
> 
> I already have a portion of the last part written. So that's also a thing. I had my reservations about how I was going to do this given what DOES happen in the movie. With that said there are some liberties I am taking to make it work for the BuckyEmi dynamic. As my friend who also reads this told me last night when we were talking about me finally posting the first part today 'It's as if Emilie was around when Civil War was happening'. That's probably the most accurate definition of what this is. I hope you guys like her storyline in this one too, because I'm pretty excited for certain things that will happen.
> 
> So far we have her in the clutches of someone who is against Bucky - I'm not saying who, yet - and well that last scene there kind of has us kicked off in the right way I think. For those who may be curious about the long lost brother don't worry he'll be in this at the end. I'll give you that much. That's all I can say without giving much away. Emilie hasn't spoken of him since starting that letter back before she nearly died in part 3.
> 
> Speaking of parts I'm sure some of you may be wondering about the numbering system at the beginning. I'm treating this as continuing on as a part of another piece of the main arc. Which it is. Even with the Bonus Shots in between it Civil War is another big story that I get to mess with. So I'm excited. I hope you guys are too.
> 
> One more thing before I go I have a song for this arc that you should probably listen to. The same friend ( _orangesherbert06_ on tumblr) who I was talking about this with and I have this little playlist that we add songs to. Anyway the song is from that and while I was typing up the chapter I realized how much it fits the CW arc for BuckyEmi. It'd be a good thing to listen to on loop during the arc. I know I will be!
> 
> Song: [When You Got A Good Thing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XD2PlehGvE) by Lady Antebellum
> 
> I'd love to hear what you guys think.
> 
> <3 day


	8. Civil War - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some trigger warnings for this chapter so before you read it pay close attention to this:  
>  **This chapter contains mentions of rape/sexual assault, it is brief and not in full detail but you'll read it within the first couple pieces of the chapter.**
> 
> I'll go more in depth about that at the end but I wanted to put the warning there. In case it was going to bother anyone. I hope you enjoy what other things I showcase in this one. It's definitely a SPECIAL chapter. I'll see you at the bottom <3

6/11

CIVIL WAR ARC – PART 2

Emilie felt like she had gotten her head smashed into the wall – a very large brick wall. Her vision was blurry but from what she could see she noticed metal. Her first thought was of Bucky. His metal arm. It was smoother than all the curves and gears that were involved in the mechanics of his limb.

She closed her eyes as she tried to suppress the feeling of déjà vu. She moved her arm which felt stiff from beside her face. She had been chained to a pipe. It was exactly like before. At least she was fully clothed, she thought before her head swam once again.

She had been in and out of consciousness. She remembered being in a truck for a while. She had been removed from it before being placed somewhere else. At the time she had been too out of it to inquire about where she was headed. The drug had been a heavy dose and it hadn’t exactly worn off in the slightest.

Emilie drew in a deep breath to center herself. When she opened her eyes she had to try not react to the scene she was seeing.

She could feel her leg being pulled despite her body jerking backwards. She knew it wouldn’t change anything. The same thing was going to happen.

It occurred to her that she was probably hallucinating about five seconds after she zoned in on Luke’s face. The muddy brown hair, and the face of a boxer. His forest green eyes glinted like a snake in the dim lighting. It had always caused her to jump into alertness. A constant chill running down her spine.

He had hardly shaved then. This had been one of the worst days out of all the ones that she had experienced before she decided that killing him would be the only way out.

The way his rough hands had grabbed her hair when she tried to push him off her. The wind being knockout out of her when he punched her in the face. He struck her with the bat he always had around. He claimed it used to belong to one of the greats – Babe Ruth, Jackie Robinson, etc. She didn’t know if she believed him. Even now when she was being subjected to the torture. It wasn’t going to be the last time. She had been wracked with this moment several times over. It didn’t hurt her as much, though she could still feel his hands on her as he drove into her.

She remembered passing out when it was over. She hadn’t cried that night. It was the first time she hadn’t cried when he did that to her. It wasn’t the last time either.

She opened her eyes again and could see the real room – not the dirty cellar she had been kept in full of hay and mud – for what it was. It was a small boiler room. It looked more high tech than any other version she had seen. That said a lot since she made a habit **not** to frequent them.

Yet, there she was chained to one of the metal railings in one. She was positively sweating.

Her eyes swept the room trying to find an exit point. There was only one door. She presumed it to be locked by some sort of digital mechanism. Why would anyone come down here though? They wouldn’t without a purpose, she thought.

Just when she was getting ready to maybe panic a voice came from inside the room. “Finally, you’re awake.” She immediately latched onto the idea that her captor was foreign. She couldn’t see him though. Where was he? “I’m not there. I’m actually not in the building.”

“How did I get here? Your _friends_?” She assumed.

There was a pause as he began to speak again. “Friends is a loose term but yes.”

“What do you want? Wait…stupid question, Bucky right?”

A laugh filtered the room causing Emilie to glare at the camera she found in the left corner. The laugh dissipated as quickly as it had come. “Smart girl. What about Luke? You don’t think anyone was looking for the woman who killed him?”

“It wouldn’t matter.” She replied simply as she yanked at the handcuff. It didn’t budge. She was getting used to the fact that nearly everyone knew that she was someone who had killed a man. Not as unseemly when you remembered that it was a man who had sexually assaulted her for his own sick reasons. She promised herself to not live like that anymore and she wouldn’t.

“Go on then.” He wanted to know what she thought. This was probably more dangerous than if he was in the room with her. A person who wanted to figure out how you ticked was a person you didn’t want to know at all.

Emilie brought herself to full height on shaky footing. The drug was slowly leaving her system. “I have a question first.” She had turned her back to the camera. She yanked hard at the chain again. It hurt her more than anything else. If she had the strength of Steve or Bucky or even the Hulk this wouldn’t be such a big problem. She was too small to make a dent in it. She’d have to come up with something else.

More silence.

“What kind of drug did you give me?” Her head was still pounding.

The answer he gave her was a single sentence. “It was the gas.” He moved on from it rather quickly. “Back to before…” Emilie looked over her shoulder and shot the camera’s lens a careful smile.

“I’m not gonna rot in here. You think you’ve got me and Bucky Barnes figured out but you have no idea. I’m not a fucking damsel in distress. I won’t be a bargaining chip for whatever you have in mind that he did to wrong you.”

Emilie was aware that there was an extensive list of bad things that Bucky had done. His murders all in order, cataloged. She had only read enough to know that he hadn’t been that way. She had already figured that much out on her own. He hadn’t hurt her once. Not intentionally, and that spoke more than any records there was on him.

The silence returned only for a few beats. “No matter. There are ways to find out what I need. This was simply easier.”

Emilie heard nothing more from him. She let out a sigh. She needed something sharp. She nearly jumped when she remembered the blade in her shoe (boot). She always kept it there in case she got herself in a situation. She bit back a smile as she reached for it. It probably wouldn’t do much to the chain but she could count on someone coming in for her soon enough. It was only a matter of time. Then she would act.

Once her hand was on the hilt of the blade she began to saw at the chain. She needed a bolt cutter specifically but she doubted she’d find one without someone’s help. With the way things were looking when she left the apartment, she doubted they knew she was missing. The only solution was to get to them before something horrible happened. She was positive it was going to happen regardless.

Emilie couldn’t tell how long it took for the door to open but when it did she found herself smiling once again.

-x-

Bucky found the man in the panther/cat suit absolutely terrifying. He nearly clawed off his face twice before Steve could get to him. Steve try to get Bucky to go. To say the least he wasn’t ecstatic when the government including Rhodey had commanded them to stop just when he could have gotten away. He hadn’t a real idea of where he could go. There were two more safe houses in the city that no one knew about that he could have managed to get to. That was no longer a thought in his mind.

He was pushed to the ground, not that he had fought them on this. He soon found himself without the backpack on his shoulders that Emilie had packed for him. He hadn’t even gotten a chance to see what was in there. The second they got to the front door of the apartment all hell broke loose.

He sat in this transport device that restricted his movements. He could feel the hum of something running underneath it. Currents?

His brows furrowed at that.

He looked down at the metal arm and let out a sigh as they stopped. No one had come to get him out yet so it was possible they were at a stop light.

He took the moment of peace to remember the last thing Emilie told him before she jumped out the window effectively separating them. ‘ _Check your wallet and don’t die_.’

He couldn’t exactly do the first. He was strapped down tight. With good reason he supposed. He could fight his way out of here. Only he soon realized that was impossible.

He felt the first twinge of something in his metal arm when he shifted just the slightest. Definitely electricity. He sighed, closing his eyes. He thought he saw a woman just barely out of view along his dark sight. She was familiar. He opened his eyes again and she had disappeared. He blinked a few times trying to decide if he thought he was crazy. No. He wasn’t all there yet.

He shut his eyes tight and there she was waiting for him.

This was weird.

“Mom?” He whispered.

It had been a long time since he had even thought of her, or his sister Rebecca. The last time he had seen her he was a kid. His memory of her was fuzzy. He had a photograph of the three of them that sat in his wallet from when he was younger. A gesture from Steve. There weren’t many photographs left from that time beyond what had been in the museum or the files that various organizations had on him. None of them of his mother.

He had gotten his dark hair from her. She had told him he looked like his father. Something he hadn’t thought about until this very second. A brief flash of his father shot through his mind before he focused on the woman who had given him birth.

“Aren’t you…dead?” This was confusing him.

She laughed a little. “Unfortunately. That’s not why I’m here James.” He felt a ghost of a touch on his cheek as he gave her a curious look.

“What are you doing here? I’m in a moving vehicle and pretty sure I’m hallucinating because you’re definitely not supposed to be here.”

“Well you’ve gotten out of worse situations. I’ve seen it.” She paused watching the way her son’s face grew dark and afraid. “I know about the procedure. None of it is your fault. I’m just happy you have Steve and that girl to keep an eye on you. You’re gonna be fine, sweetheart.” She chanced a small ruffle of his hair.

Bucky jerked up at the mention of Emilie. “What do you know about _her_?” Winifred Barnes almost laughed. This was certainly a side of her son that she missed. He hadn’t quite found his footing with women yet when she died. Before his procedure he was pretty popular with them. She almost feared he wouldn’t settle down. Then everything happened to him all at once, and she worried more about him than the idea of her having grandkids from him. He had found someone in his darkest hour. He had been so confused about everything when Emilie was ushered into his life. She liked her, a lot.

She even had a habit of watching over her when James was away.

“Well, she’s a fighter. Which is good considering a lot of things. She’s okay, by the way.”

Bucky’s burrows furrowed. Did she know something about Emilie currently that she wanted to tell him?

“Where is she, Mom?” He was desperate. He didn’t want her involved in all this. If there was even a chance of her being harmed because of this – because of him. He’d die first before she did.

“She’s close. Don’t worry. You’ll see her soon.” She took another pause as if she knew her time was nearing its end.

Bucky bowed his head. He didn’t want her to go. He was tired of losing people.

“I love the man you’ve turned into. All of the pieces. One last thing before I go. I’ll be here watching you. Don’t be in a hurry to see me. Your future is close and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted for you. Remember that.”

Bucky drew in a shaky breath as he nodded. As she disappeared from view he could have sworn he heard one more thing for her. ‘ _Don’t die_.’

He tried not to smile. _They_ were so alike he almost hated that they would never see each other in this life.

As he opened his eyes his happiness slipped away. The chamber he was in was moving forward. He was being directing out of the truck into a new building. It was a lot of clear windows and office chairs with monitors. Something close to what S.H.I.E.L.D. looked like. Except much more than that. He could feel Tony’s influence to a T.

He kept his expression neutral as he passed Steve, Sam, and the Panther King who all watched him cautiously.

He soon found himself in a room by himself more or less.

The pulse from before seemed to increase as he shifted his gaze from one side of the room to the next. A table sat in front of him with a chair. He wouldn’t be alone for much longer.

He drew in a deep breath. He didn’t see this ending well.

-x-

Emilie managed to get the key to the handcuffs from one of the men that had been sent in to persuade her to cooperate. It only took a couple minutes to knock him out with what little amount of movement she had and get the key. Now she was waiting for the other one to find his comrade unconscious so she could slip through the door. Or alternatively if they decided to take her wherever Barnes and the others were. She wasn’t stupid. She knew she was in the building that the others were in. It would be much easier for her to have them take her there than to find them on her own. She hadn’t been outside of this one room but she imagined it was a fairly large place. She did wonder what exactly _this_ was.

The first man had no insignias on him. They were trying to keep her in the dark, she realized.

She looked down at her hands briefly, she had stowed her knife back in her boot. Her hands were stained red. As was the hoodie she had previously been wearing. Once she got herself free she took it off. The redness had barely touched her green shirt but there was a little there as well. There wasn’t much she could do about the blood.

Hopefully she’d be able to shower at some point or get a new shirt. It didn’t bother her as much as it should. It was just a reminder of how far she had to go.

The second one came after a much more extended amount of time. She first noticed that he was larger. She figured this wasn’t going to be easy but she tried to slip through the door anyways.

His hands were rough as he drove his foot into her back trapping her in-between the door. She felt the coolness of handcuffs being replaced on her wrists. Her shoulder ached. Something didn’t feel right there.

“I’m not telling you anything. “ She told him.

He only laughed as he hit her directly in the face upon pulling her into a kneeling position. She didn’t flinch. The taste of blood that trickled down to her mouth bothered her less. It was thick. That was an unnecessary hit but what could she do with her hands behind her back and the gun he was pointing at her face.

She was aware that her face hurt but she wasn’t sure if was her nose or her forehead that had been busted open. Her head was getting the brunt of the abuse today it seemed. It was starting to annoy her.

“Shut up. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll do nothing. I’ll probably blow your brains out no matter what _he_ says.”

Emilie smiled. She had to be quite a sight. Bloodied and bruised yet smiling at a man who eagerly sought to splatter her brains.

“I’d love to see you try.” She wasn’t scared of him. His arrogance and physique reminded her of Luke. Something that made her want to hurt him even more. She’d wait and see what happened.

The man rolled his eyes at her before taking a tight grip of the handcuffs – he was pissed – and pulling her to her feet.

“Walk.” He explained pushing her forward with one hand on her shoulder. The one shoulder that she was sure got dislocated in the explosion. She gritted her teeth as she began walking. It took about fifteen minutes for them to climb up a set of stairs and make it to a room that was already occupied by three people. Her people.

Steve, Sharon, and Sam all looked at her in surprise when they realized she was standing there in all her beaten up glory.

“Emilie…” Steve started. He looked distracted but his worry was paramount. She couldn’t decide if it was about her or about something else. From all her time around the Captain she had figured out that he was always concerned about something. It was just how he was. She wanted to give him on less thing to worry about.

Sam too looked distressed but in an entirely different way. “Are those really necessary?” He asked, eyeing the handcuffs that had been replaced. He took a few steps forward but didn’t come close enough that he could do anything. He was watching, waiting for a sign that she needed him.

She could tell he was trying not to hit the man who he was sure had hurt her. He wasn’t wrong. He was probably one of the people who had touched her while she was in and out of consciousness. She shook off the idea of how they had done that or rather what they had done. She didn’t feel violated.

She did have some extra stings on her arms that weren’t from hitting the floor hard when the one behind her assaulted her. She’d have to look at it later.

When she felt the click of the handcuffs being released, she bowed her head to hide her face from view. Before any of them could take a step towards her she had turned around in one quick spin taking the man by surprised and kicking him in his sternum, his knee and bringing him down to her level before finishing him off in one swift snap of his neck.

His gun hitting the floor was the only sound for a couple of moments.

She gave herself a moment to draw in a deep breath before focusing on her friends.

“Sorry about that.” She directed that more towards Sharon than the boys. This guy wasn’t one of her colleagues. He was worse. Knowing Steve and Sam they probably would have done the same thing. “He wasn’t one of yours.”

Sharon gave her a smile before passing a tissue to her. She gestured to her nose. That explained the bleeding. She made quick work of trying to get rid of some of it.

Sam moved over to her quickly. He gave her a once over trying to see if he could help with anything. Steve soon joined him.

“Just my shoulder. It needs to be realigned.”

Steve reached out to try to touch Emilie but she used her good arm to push him back. “Not you. I adore you but you’re a bit forceful and I need a delicate touch right now.” Her eyes found Sam who had to try not to roll his eyes at her, he settled for a laugh instead.

“At least you haven’t lost your spunk.” He remarked before having her sit down. She noticed Steve beginning to revert back to the monitors that filled the room. She had paid no mind to them at first.

“Where’s Barnes?” She asked as Sam drove her shoulder back in its place. It had been a long time since she had to do that. It hurt but she shook it off quickly, rolling her shoulder to make sure that everything was where it was supposed to be. It still ached but the pain was more of a dull throb.

Sam was the only one who would look at her. He had a very stern look on his face, as if he wanted her to understand something that she wasn’t going to like.

She completely disregarded him for that fact alone and instead switched her focus to Steve and what he was staring at. She got to her feet and walked over to him quickly. There was someone on the monitors.

_Barnes_.

He was right there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. Things are about to happen. BIG EVENTS. If you've seen the movie which I think most people have at this point you know what is about to happen (Whoa, okay there Natasha). Spoilers: Soldier mode will be activated next chapter and yeah I've been waiting to write the next chapter in particular because of that fact alone. There are events that happen because of that re-trigger that will effect the relationships. The biggest one in particular is obvious. They've made it through worse. So don't worry friends. I have a plan and it really takes effect next chapter.
> 
> About this chapter: I chose to finally shed some light on LUKE and a piece of what he did to Emilie. It's not an easy thing to think about let alone try to write but I wanted to at least give you a glimpse. It's very dark and sad. But, she's okay now. She can deal with it. Clearly. 
> 
> Bucky on the other hand, I really wanted to give him a moment of peace before things got worse for him. I had no idea I was going to write about his mom but I did it. I really love that scene. For anyone who may be curious because they don't really talk about his mom a lot in CA: TFA, I used what little I found out about Winifred from the Marvel wiki online. It says that she died when he was a child. It didn't really go into detail to HOW so I kind of made it my own to be able to connect it with what Bucky could remember of her. I think it turned out okay. 
> 
> Bucky and Emilie really mirrored each others experiences this chapter. Each having to deal with someone from their past figuratively and literally. It just makes me enjoy writing about them more. 
> 
> I do have a lot of the post Triggered Soldier stuff written. Like the stuff when he wakes up as the real Bucky. So when we get there I don't think we'll have to wait too long. I've been writing bits and pieces of stuff that I really can't wait to get to so I'll write a little bit here and there. 
> 
> Anyways let me know your thoughts on this one. I'll see you soonish with the next one. <3 
> 
> /*casually adds more numbers to the chapter count for the arc* to self: 'that's probably not enough' oops.


	9. Civil War - Part 3

7/11

CIVIL WAR ARC – PART 3

Steve Rogers had always pegged Emilie as the quiet type. It was why he found it kind of funny that his loud best friend or at least the previous life of the party man had found a woman who made someone think so much, without any warning. Steve was thinking about how hard this had to be for her; to see the person you fell in love with shackled and further away than you wanted.

This was only one of the things he saw on her face as she bit her already chapped lips and watched Bucky sit there looking away from the man who had joined him to try to evaluate him. He looked distant. Perhaps, that’s what made this easier for him.

Steve turned away for the briefest moment when he registered the sound begin to amplify in the room. _Thanks Sharon._

_“Your first name is James. I’m not here to judge you. Just want to ask you a few questions. Do you know where you are James? I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me, James.”_

_“My name is Bucky.”_

She gave him a small smile before he went back to focusing on his best friend and the woman beside him.

He felt her intake of breath before he heard it.

“What is it?” He inclined his head towards her.

“We need to go get him.” Her eyes shone with distress and small amount of fear. Not for herself, but what she thought was about to happen.

“They’re just evaluating him.” He told her although she shook her head at him.

“I know that man.” She pointed to the man seated in front of the chamber where Bucky sat. “I know his voice from when I was trapped in this place. Down below. Believe me when I tell you, we need to get out of there. Right now.”

“We can’t.” He started only for Sharon to speak up.

“I can show you where he is when something happens but not before. All of us are here for a reason. No escape attempts can be made or things get worse. I don’t think you want this to get any worse, Emilie.”

Emilie pulled at her hair as she turned away from all of them, Steve especially. He was just sitting back and letting this happen. None of them understood what was going on here. She didn’t feel right telling them. The only way things were going to get done was if they saw it for themselves. She knew that it wouldn’t be long before it happened, she just knew it; she felt it.

She inched towards the door and stood there waiting with Steve’s eyes fixed on the monitor, Sam looked like he wanted to know more of what Emilie was thinking. He had always played close attention to her. Bucky still sat there not saying much of anything – an act of defiance towards someone he knew didn’t have his best interests at heart.

It wasn’t until she heard Sam who had trained his gaze back towards the screen, get up to his feet and rush forward to stand beside Steve. “What did he just show him?”

Emilie lifted her head as the room went dark. She registered the last glimpse of her boyfriend. He looked pissed.

 

Bucky couldn’t register the last time he had ben this pissed off. Not since the helicarrier with Steve. He had been frustrated then. At the sight of the footage of Emilie that his ‘shrink’ had turned him to he suddenly felt like he had slipped back into his other self. However, he knew that he hadn’t. He also figured it wouldn’t be long until he truly was The Winter Soldier.

“Where is she?” He growled. His hand balled into a fist as he tried not to lose it. It wasn’t time to lose his cool. But, Emilie was in danger. They had her – he had her somewhere and he couldn’t get to her. Not as long as he was strapped down like this.

“Not important. I want to talk about you. Your home. Not Romania. Certainly not Brooklyn, no. I mean your real home.” He lifts a dark red leather bound book with a black star at its center from off the table.

Bucky ignored what he was saying for the most part. He glared at the stupid book. He was tired of that reappearing at the most inopportune times. He focused on the word home though. His home was with Emilie and Steve. The old ones were just memories. He remembered his mother. The rest he could do without.

He smiled slightly as the book was opened up. He wasn’t happy in the slightest but if it gave him enough drive to get him out of this chair and get out he supposed he’d endure the pain of the words one more time.

The carnal side of him would inevitable be let loose and he wouldn’t have much control over his own actions. He only wanted to do one thing – beat this man until he could no longer talk in that accent. It was grating on his nerves.

At soon as the words began he began to fidget and kick and struggle with the binds that confined him in this single space. His head felt like it was on fire but he tried to focus on getting out.

**Zhelaniye. Rzhavyy. Semnadtsat’. Rassvet. Pech’. Devyat’. Dobroserdechnyy. Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu. Odin. Gruzovoy vagon.**

When the last word came he felt himself whispering a prayer to the woman with the purple hair: _I’m sorry about this, Emilie._

The Soldier rose unblinking at the man with the book in his hand. They were always carrying that. Bucky was always trying to fight it. He found it almost strange that when faced with the man before them they were on a united front.

So they played along. Answering his questions about 1991. When he appeared satisfied they reached for his throat and squeezed.

The Soldier didn’t know why Bucky seemed stronger than usual today. He was usually like an insect. There but ineffective.

They didn’t really get a chance to snap the man’s neck. They were interrupted by about five guys entering the room.

 _Later_ , they promised.

 

Emilie kept up with Steve for the most part as they rushed towards the room where Bucky had been last seen. Every couple of seconds Steve would try to get her to tell him what she knew.

“Before you came to the apartment we started talking about The Soldier. It’s what we call him when we don’t want to talk about it. There is so much I didn’t know. I hadn’t looked around. Wasn’t my place. Not even the files on him that I had passed on to him when he came into my life. I saw a video once out of curiosity. It was playing on one of the news sites I look at sometimes to keep up with what’s going outside.”

“But he told you something, right?” He called as they continued up the next level of stairs. They were nearly there.

“You’ll want to hear it from him. Once he’s Bucky again.”

“About that – how do you know he’s switched back?”

“Call it a hunch, riddled with what that asshole who’s in the same room as him had told me, or rather what he didn’t say. Like you said he wanted to get a chance to be alone with him while Bucky was already confined to a space. It’s not too hard to believe that he had the words to get whatever information he wanted from The Soldier.”

“What words?”

“Trigger words. I don’t know them myself, but he told me about the book. He said there’s always a book that they **woke him** up with.”

They didn’t get to discuss any more about it. They had arrived on the floor. It was dead silent apart from the sirens going off.

Steve shot in front of Emilie and gave her a look as if saying ‘let me go first.’ She nodded and stood back as Sam flanked Steve. When she heard Steve talking to someone she moved a few paces in before the movement to her right caught her eye. She ducked and slid underneath the table before The Winter Soldier could grab her. He hadn’t been looking directly at her. Not completely. He had heard her footsteps and decided to act now.

Sam moved to shield her for all good that did him. He ended up splayed on the floor unconscious. As much as she wanted to check on Sam she knew she couldn’t just yet. She let out a sigh before getting to her feet and looking at the back of The Soldier’s head. He was about to collide with Steve next. She had to act before he reached him. She lifted the gun that Sharon had given her back in the viewing room and took a shot at his shoulder. He jerked back around advancing on her.

She knew to put all thought about Bucky Barnes on a shelf when she was standing off with his other half. She wasn’t banking on him knowing her. He forgot Steve the last time they wiped him (and the many times before that), she wasn’t anywhere near that important. At least she didn’t think so.

She had never stood toe to toe with The Soldier either. She had never thought she would have to.

She dodged his blows. Deflecting what she could. Blocking the metal arm every time he tried to use it grab her.

Memories of the first he had accidentally almost choked her out when he was having a nightmare ran rampant in her mind fueling her need not to get hit by it. One blow could mean danger, especial to her. She wasn’t a super soldier and she was pretty damn small to boot.

She could tell he was growing frustrated with her. So she allowed Steve to hop in and reach him from behind to give her some air to breath. She didn’t stray too far knowing she would have to aid him. Super soldier or not Steve Rogers had almost died the last time The Winter Solider was on him.

He had Steve pinned against a wall when she chose to jump him once more. It got him off Steve long enough for him to grab at her arm and toss her through the glass barrier that separated it from the other side where several men were down. It hurt, but she had been through worse. She pushed herself up determined to actually kill him if she had to. She hated being thrown around like some rag doll.

Sam pulled her up completely. He had finally gotten to his feet. “The foreigner took off. You okay?”

She dusted the glass off her shoulder. Didn’t feel like she broke much. Probably a couple bruises but no major cuts. “We have worse things to worry about. I have an idea. I haven’t a clue if it’s going to work but we don’t have a lot of options.”

“What’s up?” Sam stood close to her to listen to what she had in mind. She knew he wasn’t going to like it. Hell, even she knew that Sam wasn’t too happy when Bucky was first introduced to him physically. The car incident.

“I need to be alone with him.”

“Emilie,” he sighed.

“Trust me, Sam. It’s better if I take him out. Or at the very least see if anything clicks. It was pretty dark in here.” She explained.

Sam just looked at her for a few moments. She shared the same reckless attitude that Steve had. He was surrounded by idiots. However, he did trust her more than Steve when it came to this. They both loved the assassin for different parts of the spectrum. But, Emilie at least was thinking rationally while he was sure Steve would probably die first. He was already willing to almost go to jail for him. They at least had Tony to thank for why they weren’t all sitting in a cell somewhere.

“Tony and Nat are probably taking a shot at him. There’s your chance. I’ll try to find Steve.” He reached out and gave her shoulder a slight squeeze.

“Don’t worry about him. I know where he’s heading.” She pointed up. The roof. Of course. There was no way The Soldier could get out through any other exit.

Sam just laughed. “I’ll meet you in a bit. Go.” He gave her a slight nudge.

Emilie took off once more. It could only go up from here.

Tony spotted her first having been taken down by the time she skidded to a halt. He looked like he wanted to say something to her but she shook her head and stepped as lightly as she could in order to get towards the center of the chaos without being tracked by the assassin.

Sharon had been thrown much like The Winter Soldier had done to Emilie. Unlike the first time he had done it, she was better equipped with a plan of action. She waited until Natasha had been more or less halted in her tracks before making her move. “You could at least recognize me.” She heard the red haired beauty say as she tried to catch her breath when he left her there. He didn’t try to kill her. He wasn’t trying to kill anyone. That gave her a slight pause.

Emilie had to bite down a smile though. If he couldn’t acknowledge his girlfriend there was little hope for Black Widow. Emilie was aware they had a history. Heard the story from both of them and yet she still didn’t think much of it.

The Wakandan King was on him in a hot flash, causing Emilie to raise her gun. She pointed it between the two of them and pulled the trigger. She got three rounds in before the dark man made a move to pounce on her. He didn’t get that far. The Solider had grabbed him by his shirt and yanked him to the side. He turned to her and tilted his head to the side. He looked amused as he finally looked at her.

“ _Ty uzhasnyy vystrel_.” (You’re a terrible shot.)

Emilie laughed. “ _YA vystrelil , gde mne nuzhno . K tomu zhe on poluchil svoye vnimaniye_.” (I shot where I needed to. Besides it got your attention.)

“ _Kto ty_?” (Who are you?) He took a few steps in her direction. He didn’t seem as threatening as he was to everybody else. The others had noticed, despite having no idea what they were saying to each other except Natasha.

Emilie eyes found hers for a moment. She looked surprised but encouraging. She glanced at Tony she asked him silently to ‘stand down’.

Emilie focused back on the metal armed man. His brows furrowed, almost like he was concentrating too hard; on her. She could entertain the thought of being flattered considering this was in some way a different man than who she was usually dealing with on a daily basis. He had lost the gentleness. She saw specks of the confusion present, though.

“Komu ty rasskazyvayesh'.” (You tell me.)

He looked like he was about to tell her something when the King had come back for more. From the look that Nat was shooting her it was unlikely that anyone was going to get involved. He had a personal stake in this that the red head obviously understood. It was painful and completely raw.

The Soldier for all his forceful movements didn’t do anything beyond deflect and shove him away from him. He appeared uninterested and distracted. Emilie decided to help him.

“Your highness. What’s your deal?” She called to him resorting back to English.

The man in question had a hold on The Soldier’s metal arm. It wasn’t going anywhere though. The soldier easily twisted out of his grip and kicked him backwards. The King landed like a panther or a very large cat, something true to what his country symbolized from what Steve had told her while she had been patched up. He stood tall and lost his defensive stance for a little while as he turned to Emilie specifically.

“Who are you? You weren’t with the others.” She looked to The Soldier trying to decide if she should just tell him. It would be easier but for some reason she wanted him to figure it out for himself.

“I asked you a question.” She mumbled instead.

 _Defensive_.

The Soldier realized that the girl with the purple hair was avoiding telling not only the cat man who she was, but truly himself. He wondered why? Was he supposed to know her? Was she connected to Barnes? His head was a fragmented mess right now. He couldn’t figure out why she seemed familiar.

The man in question had gone radio silent. His energy drained.

“I am not required to answer it.”

The girl folded her arms, she tucked the gun in her back packet and she shifted from side to side.

“Neither am I.”

“Are you connected to him?” He paused as if experiencing some inner turmoil. “The man who killed my father.”

Emilie sighed. That certainly was a motive to want to come after him. Though she knew that Bucky hadn’t done it. They had gone over it before he left. He had an alibi. He had been with her.

The Soldier’s eyes flickered back and forth between the two of them. The shoe had dropped, and yet nothing had happened. The King was waiting for her to answer him. He didn’t think it was going to stop him from trying to kill him but he seemed to want to explore all the options.

“You’re after the wrong man. He’s not himself.” This was all the truth as far as Emilie was concerned. However it didn’t mean much to the two men.

“So you say. I know what happened.”

“Pain blinds people. Your status doesn’t exempt you from that fate. I’m sorry about your dad.” Emilie finished quietly.

T’Challa knew that she meant it. He could see a similar sadness in her face. She had lost someone recently as well. It didn’t excuse her obvious need to defend The Winter Soldier.

“Don’t get in my way.” The threat was clear. He just didn’t know that it awakened something inside the man he so desperately wanted to kill.

Emilie took the last remaining steps towards the King. She didn’t fear him. He seemed like he would normally be sensible. He wasn’t evil. No one here was. The only one she could think of had gotten away – ran in fact, like a rat.

“Are you implying you’ll harm me if I get in your way?” She spoke quietly.

T’Challa didn’t get to answer her. The Soldier had slipped between them. One hand was wrapped around her shoulder – pushing her on a table away from T’Challa, the other a few inches away from T’Challa’s sternum. He could hit him if felt the need.

When Emilie attempted to slip away he turned to her and applied slightly more pressure. He didn’t want her to move, but he was also trying not to hurt her. He was trying to protect her.

Her eyes softened at the idea of it. His gaze shifted back to the African man. From what Emilie could see he looked surprised that The Soldier appeared so quickly.

Nat must have realized her grasp on the situation was iffy. The next thing that happened was the roof suddenly caving in above them.

The Soldier was quick to cover her. His arms wrapped around her as he sprinted out of harm’s way. She vaguely could hear Tony getting annoyed.

“ _What the hell, Romanoff!”_

_“Civilians are supposed to be left out of it, Tony.”_

_“She’s not just a civilian.”_

_“She’s fine.”_

_“How…”_

Emilie was distracted by the body that was on top of her. He had his metal arm shielding her head from any debris that might pelt her. He didn’t seem to care if he got hit. It was something that Bucky would do, she realized. She had to focus on breathing and not thinking too much about it.

“ _Vy ponimayete, chto vy zashchitit' menya_.” (You realize you’re protecting me.)She grinned under him.

“ _Zatknis'_.” (Shut up.)

“ _Zachem_?” (Why?)

He lifted his head a fraction so that he could stare at her. “ _Кто ты_?” (Who. Are. You?)

He sounded distressed.

She wished she could just say something that would get him back. At the same time she enjoyed getting to know the brash machine who only seemed to want to get away from everyone…except her.

“ _Kto-to vy instinktivno reshili sekonomit', **James**_.” (Someone you instinctively decided to save, James*.)

She felt him stiffen and begin to move away from her. The expression of longing that flitted across his face made her move closer towards him. Taking the one chance she would have to be alone with him, she wrapped her arm around his neck pulling him back down.

“I love you, you fucking idiot.” She knew that he understood perfectly. He was well versed in both languages. Brooklyn born, Soviet trained.

She didn’t stop there, no. Before he could blink or shove her away – if he even wanted to – she pressed her mouth against his firmly. This was the most steady she felt all day. She didn’t move from this position.

Neither did he for a moment.

The Soldier’s mind was running at top speed. He was trying to process the confession along with the use of Bucky’s first name. People had called him James before. Not often because he preferred the nickname. It felt different when it came from her mouth. She said it with such care, even with swears thrown in there too. She was special that was for sure. To both of them somehow.

It was waging a war inside of him. Tiny images of memories were flitting to and fro centering on the purple haired woman and Bucky. He seemed at peace. In love even. It was an odd thing for the machine side of him to comprehend. The Soldier was okay with the feeling of her pressed against him. Her mouth felt rough from tearing (more than likely from biting her lips too much) met him but it didn’t divert him from pressing her a little closer and moving his mouth against hers. This was his girl after all.

He only moved away when he heard the voices of the others getting too close for his comfort. He couldn’t stay here with her. He had to go.

He wouldn’t go before he told her what he needed to. Bucky would certainly remember it; he’d thank him for it too.

He slipped her arm from around his neck and gave her a knowing smile.

“Marry me, then.”

Then he disappeared just as quickly.

 

Emilie stood there in shock for a few moments. He had said the words marry and me in the same sentence. She felt like her head was spinning causing this dizzying effect.

She told herself to breathe. It was something that happened. Several life changing events had transpired in the past two days. She couldn’t think much about it. It wasn’t Bucky talking, or at least she didn’t think so. He brain felt like mush. There was too much going on for her to focus on this one thing.

It was probably one of the ways he could have done it if he was in the right state of mind. She didn’t know what The Soldier was thinking. He was kind of a mess in the methodical way that he posed when in the limelight. He didn’t seem to care as much about anything besides his mission. But, HYDRA wasn’t anywhere near him. So what did he feel he had to do now?

It brought forward the question of what the false shrink had asked of him before he resolutely knocked him out. Emilie didn’t have a lot of answers but she knew that she couldn’t just stand around. She had to join Steve. He would more than likely be with his best friend trying to knock some sense into him.

She wasn’t wrong.

The Soldier was in a helicopter. He looked determined to leave but even as The Winter Soldier he had to know that Steve Rogers wasn’t one to quit easily.

Emilie moved to stand next to the blonde super soldier. He turned to her slowly. He seemed to be able to tell that something had happened in the time that they had last seen each other. She didn’t want to talk about it right now. She pushed him slightly piercing his side playfully.

“Your turn.”

“You know how to swim?” He called as the helicopter started to lift higher in the air. He was already reaching out to grab it and yank it back to the landing pad.

“Yes.” She yelled over the blades that were in full motion.

He said nothing more about it as he went to work on trying to get the aircraft to not spin out of control. The dark haired man seemed to find it amusing, he looked at Steve like he was a pesky bug that didn’t know how to quit. It was one way of defining the captain’s ever present need to secure the people he cared about. Never mind the costs to his own body and soul.

The way he stretched out between the barrier that was going to break and the foothold of the copter, it was clear he was using all he had in him to make sure that he didn’t make it that far.

When he had pulled it close enough he attempted to pry open the door only to get hand around his throat.

Emilie had trouble trying to move over to help Steve. There wasn’t a safe place for her to go except down below. His question earlier made perfect sense. They were all going to hit the water.

The Soldier took stock of both of them. The purple haired woman looked torn and Steve had let go of the barrier and took to holding the aircraft in his hands. The blades were going to hit her if she didn’t move considering the angle it had shifted to. She hadn’t noticed them quiet yet.

“Move.” He barked at her much to the surprise of Steve.

“Emilie, jump.” Steve told her just as the top part of the vehicle had inclined even further.

She was light on her feet moving to the left to dodge the path of destruction before making a clean jump down to the large body of water.

Neither man knew if she hit the water. Steve was focused on tipping it in the opposite direction. The Soldier’s gaze was elsewhere; on Emilie. He had gotten her name at least.

 _Emilie_.

She had dove under to wait on Steve to join her. He somehow thought the water was going to help Bucky come out of it.

When Steve joined her above the water – it took him a solid five minutes for her to come up after falling with copter along with Bucky trapped inside – she immediately noticed that her boyfriend was unconscious. The questions would have to wait.

He motioned for her to head to shore. He dragged Bucky up with him and tossed him down before wiping his own hair out of his face. He immediately told her what she already knew.

“He was worried about you.”

Emilie didn’t respond to that. She looked at Bucky and frowned. He worried her too. For a while anyway. She wonder if that dive had done anything in the ways of shifting him back to Bucky Barnes.

“Let’s get him somewhere safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - There is an alternate way of saying James in Russian. But I wanted her to say it in English for more of an impact.
> 
> This chapter ended up long, and I really enjoyed it immensely. It's probably one of my favorites, ever. For a lot of reasons. 
> 
> I'm going to go ahead and address the elephant in the room, he totally proposed to her. No matter who he was in that moment a part of him was like I'm marrying this girl, and he took the fucking moment. Has this always been the plan? Yep. I didn't know when in the story it was going to happen but I planned for it to go something like that. There is actually a prompt fill I did on tumblr that gives a much happier version that is pretty much an AU of the events but if you would like to read it feel free [here](http://sincerelydayyy.tumblr.com/post/145181867415/bucky-saying-his-own-version-of-cheesy-pick-up). I have a few BuckyEmi fics over there that are only over there. Who knows I may incorporate them in someday but for now they're very separate.
> 
> Can we talk about the dynamic between Steve and Emilie? Because I love those two 'Bucky defense idiots' so much. I had no idea how I was gonna spin that but their whole alternating shifts of who gets to have a go at TWS was so hilarious to me. I just think they're great. No jealousy there, pure appreciation for each other being in Bucky's life. May I remind you she's the reason they reunited at all. FEELS.
> 
> Also I'm just really fond of the way the TWS/Emilie dynamic played out. It's not the last you'll see of it. For this arc, it's done but for the fic nope. It'll reappear sooner than you think. So I would love to hear what you thought about all of it. The next chapter is actually already written. I wrote it before I even started writing the beginning of the arc because I knew it was going to be a thing. I just have to go type it up and add a few things but that one won't take as long to get out to you once I update the other fic I have going along too.
> 
> Anyways I've done enough over explaining. Can't wait to hear from you guys! <3


	10. Civil War - Part 4

8/11 

CIVIL WAR ARC – PART 4

Steve had managed to find a place that was just sketchy enough that no one would care to look for them there. Or at least that’s what Emilie hoped when she helped him bring Bucky’s unconscious form inside of the small opening that he had created for them to get inside of the dimly lit apartment building.

The area looked like it used to be an old factory that someone used as place of living. Beyond the crates that circled it there was only a contraption sitting the middle of the first floor. She could spot a hallway peeking out down the right of the empty space. Once they had placed Bucky against the contraption Steve spoke up for the first time.

“I’m sorry, we have to…” He started to gesture to the equipment that most certainly fit a body limb or two and encase it. The idea of a horror film being set in this place briefly flitted across Emilie’s mind before she jerked, nodding. “You don’t have to explain. I’m pretty smart.” She replied, shortly.

Once Steve had stuck him in there they heard someone struggling at the door. Sam had found them. “Did you use to squat in places like this, Steve?” Sam asked once he managed to bend the opening a smidge so that he could slip through.

“I didn’t hide very often. But I guess Bucky used to find me in places like this when I tried to fight someone who was double my size.”

Sam laughed. “I can’t quite picture that but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.” He turned spotting Emilie who looked distracted. “Em, you okay?” He asked.

Emilie looked between the two soldiers before scoffing. “Oh I’m great. Within the span of two days my family got blown to pieces, I was drugged and abducted for the third time now only to find out that my boyfriend was being held by the government who ended up causing him to turn into the raging machine who kills people.”

Neither Steve nor Sam knew quite how to respond. I knew she wasn’t about her circumstances but she hadn’t blew up at them to this magnitude yet. “Is there a shower? I need to cool off before something else happens and I really start hating everything and everyone.” She continued.

Steve struggled to speak for a moment. “There might be one down the hall. Haven’t had a chance to check.”

Emilie rushed off without another word.

Steve let out a heavy sigh. “I’m worried about her. Not just for his sake. She’s been through too much lately.”

“She’s stronger than you think. Give her a little credit, man. She’ll come out on top in the end. She always does.”

“It’s a little different this time. She lost her family.”

“Not all of it. She has a brother.”

“She has no idea where he is.”

“We’ll find him then. If nothing else she’s not alone.”

Steve nodded and braved a short smile. He watched Sam roam around the room obviously looking for something. He must have found it for he came back towards him and continued speaking.

“What happened out there?” Sam asked as he passed Steve a towel - it was mostly clean despite it’s smell but it would at least do the job and dry his hair. He had already changed into a spare shirt that had been sealed in one of the dry packets he kept in his pocket. He never knew when he’d need a new shirt. Now they were just waiting for Bucky to wake up.

Unfortunately they had to trap his arm in case they were meeting with the Winter Soldier and not the calm man that Sam had come to know. He knew that Emilie said that she understood but he couldn’t get that look of pain she had on her face. She looked worse than she did when they pulled him out of the water.

She still hadn’t told him what she had been thinking but maybe it would be better once he woke up and hopefully the guy that they all knew.

Steve let out a sigh as they walked over to one of the milk crates that littered the floor of the abandoned apartment building. There was debris everywhere.

“I don’t know man. When he was in the chopper he looked conflicted. I think he was afraid that she was going to get hit. He had yelled out for her to get out of the way around the same time I told her to jump. He looked panicked as if he really didn’t want to hurt her.”

“Do you think he would have leapt out to grab her if he had to?” It had been the first time that they had visibly witnessed him hesitating around Emilie. There was something about her that made the Soldier unsure if he was supposed to hurt her. They knew that the real Bucky was probably in love with her. Could that still ring inside of him when he was like this? At the most it was clear that he recognized something about her. Something that messed with the programming that had been done to him previously.

“It’s hard to say. Its little moments like that where it at least puts the question out there. He could have killed her.”

“From the commotion going on inside it seemed like he had been protecting her from the Cat King too.”

“He has a name, Sam.” Steve smiled, finding it funny that Sam had a bone to pick with The King of Wakanda.

“I know. I’m still pissed.” He paused for a moment. “Natasha passed word of something that she heard before letting Tony do his own thing. It was only brief though.”

“What?” Steve asked, concerned.

“Emilie apparently told him that she loved him. Her words, ‘ _I love you, you fucking idiot_.’ Natasha had trouble keeping a straight face about it.” Sam shook his head, trying not laugh himself.

“Sounds like her.” Steve chuckled. Emilie could be a fireball when she wanted to be. He had noticed her frustration before. It wouldn’t be too far to think that she would blurt something like that out if she felt it would help in any way. He wondered what else had gone on. The only one who knew anything about it was Emilie and she was dealing with her own shit right now. Not to mention she wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now.

They heard a groan from the other side of the room shortly. Sam was quick to get to his feet before calling his blonde friend over. “Cap.”

Bucky was awake.

As Steve joined Sam he approached his best friend carefully unsure of who he was talking to. The man in question blinked a little before looking from his trapped arm to his surrounding area. His eyes locked with Steve and he blanched. The only thing he could remember before he blacked out was that Emilie had been near him and they had spoken. Or rather she spoke to the Soldier hoping to get to him.

“Steve.” He called after neither of them said a word to him merely looking at him warily.

“Which Bucky am I talking to?”

“Emilie. Where is she?” He asked in response.

Steve shared a glance with Sam who merely shrugged, giving him the floor to do whatever he felt best.

“She’s fine.” Steve muttered hoping that would be all that was needed to get Bucky to talk to him about what had happened before.

“That’s it? We supposed to be cool now that he knows his girlfriend is okay? I mean he kind of took out everyone, Steve.” Or maybe Sam wasn’t completely happy at all.

“What did I do?” Bucky cleared his throat looking at Sam specifically.

“Enough.” Steve answered instead trying to make the situation any worse than it already was. He didn’t need Sam biting Bucky’s head off. He had to figure out what Bucky actually knew first.

Bucky looked away from the two of them towards the ground. “I knew this was going to happen. Everything HYDRA put inside my head is still there. All they had to do was say the goddamn words.”

“Who was he?” Steve urged.

“I don’t know.” Bucky sighed, looking back up once he felt like he could actually make sense of everything. He wasn’t a fan of being trapped, images of other times where he had been constricted flitted through his head.

“People are dead. The doctor did all of that – the bombing, the setup just to get 10 minutes alone with you. I need you to do better than I don’t know.”

Bucky could feel himself wanting to glare at Steve. None of this was in his hands. So he gave him what he wanted. He felt like that’s all he’s ever done for anyone. _Give, give, give, and give._ “He wanted to know about Siberia. Where I was kept. Wanted to know exactly where.”

“Why would he need to know?”

He steeled himself to finally give the information that he had only shared with Emilie before. Steve deserved to know too. “Because I’m not the only Winter Soldier.”

“Who are they?”

“Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in HYDRA history. That was before the serum.”

“They all turn out like you?” Sam chimed in.

“Worse.”

“The doctor, could he control them?” Steve focused him once more.

“Enough.”

“He said he wanted to see an empire fall.” Steve added.

“They could do it; speak 30 languages, hide in plain sight, infiltrations, assassination, destabilize. They can take down a whole country in one night and never see them coming.”

Sam turned to Steve. “We can’t go to Tony with this but I have someone who might be able to help.”

“Who?”

“He calls himself Ant-Man. I can get in touch.”

“Is this that…”

Sam gave him a look before Steve could continue to ask him about the time someone had tried to get something from the Avengers Tower – a moment Steve was never supposed to hear about and yet he still tried to get Sam to talk about it.

Steve chuckled before turning back to Bucky who looked slightly amused. “Mind getting me out of this?” He muttered. He didn’t miss the cautious look Sam had given him. He had every right to act that way. It wasn’t the first time Bucky had nearly killed him.

“Sorry Sam.” Bucky remarked once they removed the restraints. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. “Can I…?” He started only for Steve to practically shove him out of the room.

Bucky laughed as Steve directed him to the bathroom where he could hear water running. He didn’t hesitate to let himself in. He briefly looked at her silhouette through the steamed up glass door before he began to strip. He left his boxers on.

His need to talk to her weighed over the need to have her in that way. There was no time for that anyhow. They had to get moving and fast.

Bucky slipped through the small space he opened before shutting it closed. He leaned on the wall at first just hanging back to watch her; giving her the space she needed. He couldn’t read her all that well right now. She appeared to be coming down from a state that he never liked seeing her in. Riled up and pissed off at the world. She was combing her hands through her hair. A very soothing gesture he had come to appreciate when it was turned towards him.

“Are you afraid of me?” He breathed. His heart hammering in his chest at the very thought of that being true.

“No.” Came her short yet quiet reply. “I’ve never been afraid of you.” She sighed.

He pushed off the wall and took the short steps to get to Emilie. He reached out for her shoulder with one hand and using the other to move her hair to the side. He noticed the bruising there. He frowned, it was fresh. “Did I hurt…”

She spun around taking his hand off her shoulder. He made to move back thinking she didn’t want him to touch her. Emilie kept his hand in her grasp, entwining their fingers. She shook her head. “No. This was from someone else.” He watched her swallow as she met his eyes. There was something she had been waiting to tell him specifically.

Steve hadn’t told him how Emilie got to the site. She was supposed to be with her family. “Why are you here?” He squeezed her hand as his metal arm reached for her waist. He pulled her closer to him.

Emilie lifted her head as she settled her hand on his chest. “You’re all I have left now.” She drew in a deep breath. It was probably a little bit melodramatic to say that but it was the truth. Ethan notwithstanding considering he wasn’t even anywhere near here. She was pretty much all that was left of her family.

Bucky knew she was trying not to cry. Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. She was biting her lip slightly as if to steel herself as she got through this conversation. She was scared of him but just the idea that they were talking about this. He didn’t think she truly let herself cry, if it was anything like his day there was no way that she had the time to process let alone grief in private

. As the next words flew out he saw the tears start to slip out. “Just like that. Gone. An explosion.” She explained as she tucked her head into his chest. Bucky for his part held her as she wept. He understood what she didn’t say. Someone had come for her, broken her down and yet she still found her way back to him. Something that he imagined they didn’t want.

He remembered the images of her chained up just before everything got muddled together. He remembered the terror he felt when he thought they were going to kill her. That he could have if she wasn’t who she was. She pushed him and brought parts of him to life when everyone else just wanted to punch him down.

He hadn’t realized that they had gotten on the floor of the tub. Sitting in a warm embrace until he told her what he felt she already knew. “I love you too.”

Emilie smiled into his chest as she slowly ooked up at him. “You heard me.”

“Couldn’t help but hear you. You were right there.” He was borderline teasing but it made her smile brighten.

“I hate you.” She whispered as she pressed her mouth against his. Bucky grinned against her mouth. His hand find her hair and tugging her closer. He really hated they were going to have to leave this solitude. He wanted her; desperately.

He almost thought himself silly for starting to cry. It was something he hated doing. He didn’t understand how he got so lucky. From an outsider’s view he didn’t deserve this happening to him. He was supposed to be a horrible person. He killed more people than actually liked him in this lifetime. He felt elated though that he was able to have her at all. What would have happened if she had been blown up too or worse killed like he imagined she could have been previously?

Emilie wiped his face as she pecked him softly. “It’s okay. We’re gonna be okay. Together.”

He nodded. His hair brushed against her temple as he looked at her.

When the knock came on the door he wanted to ignore it.

“I hope you aren’t having sex at a time like this.” Sam voice filtered through the stream of water that was bone chilling cold.

Bucky’s eyes widen but he found himself convulsing with laughter along with Emilie. He had the urge to tell him if he had the time he probably would be.

Once they quieted down Bucky carefully lifted Emilie off of him so that he could stand. Once he was on his feet he reached down to help her up.

She began to head to the sliding door to open it but he pulled her back to him. Dipping his head so that his mouth found hers once more. A moment of longing shared for one more moment before he let her go.

When they were dressed once again Bucky took her hand and they filed out.

Sam rolled his eyes at them when he noticed them coming out. Emilie detached from Bucky so that she could address Sam’s earlier comment. “We didn’t have time for _that_. It’s nice you were thinking about it though.” Bucky was shaking with laughter. That was his girl. Unabashed for the most part and quick to lighten the mood.

“I hate you both.” Sam grunted not finding it funny at all.

His sour mood soon lifted when Bee came through the bent door. She nearly tripped but saved herself pretty quickly by quick stepping into a sudden halt. She was carrying a bag on her shoulder. It took Sam only a few strides to reach her and he exchanged a few silent words with her before she handed the bag over to him and he bent down to peck her on the cheek in greeting.

Emilie smiled as she watched her friend light up at the affectionate gesture turned on her. It didn’t last too long when she realized that there were people watching them. She immediately grew embarrassed. “You’re still as cute as ever.” Emilie cooed as she approached Bee and gave the woman a welcomed hug.

“Why are you always flirting with my girlfriend?” Sam grumbled.

Emilie shot him a smile. “Because it bothers you, and I know she likes it.” She winked at Bee. The curly haired woman covered her face. It wasn’t a lie. Everyone knew she had a crush on Emilie. It hadn’t lessened any since she and Sam finally got together.

Bee drew in a deep breath after a moment. “So you’re coming with me.” She told Emilie quietly. Sam had told her as much when he called to make sure she had gotten safely through the airport from the private plane that Pepper had let her use unbeknownst to Tony.

She watched her slump a little. It wasn’t because she didn’t like Bee. She had just reunited with Bucky. Her Bucky, not the HYDRA controlled machine. She looked over at him. He didn’t appear any happier about it. He soon slipped over to her side with a frown on his face. He seemed resolved however on whatever silent conversation the three guys had had while she had been merely greeting her friend.

“I’ll see you after.” He promised.

“You better.”

He encircled his arm around her in a hug. No one could be upset with Bucky when he was being so sweet and loving to the woman he cared about more than anyone else. He gave her a short peck before he turned away. It was now or never.

Emilie took Bee’s hand and they exited out the door.

When they got into Bee’s car she didn’t immediately start the car. “I got us a room near the airport.” Emilie watched the girl fiddle with her hands. She was avoiding her gaze.

“What do you know?”

Bee looked over and smiled at her as she put the key in the ignition and turned it over. “I don’t know anything.”

Not anything she was supposed to, Emilie gathered. Where did she get her intel? She needed someone like that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter that I wrote immediately when I knew that I was going to be doing a Civil War portion of the fic. LIke when the teaser trailer first hit I immediately knew that the shower scene was happening. Didn't know when and a few things changed when I was typing and editing bits out but it's still pretty much the same much to my great joy. I really love the interactions between all the characters. 
> 
> Hope for those who are into my Sam fic Will to Live like that little teaser for the endgame at the very end of this one. But I feel like that's a given that they will end up together. Just very slow burn (MY FAVORITE). I always knew that Bee would be a part of this too especially considering WTL takes place before Civil War. Just a little nugget for you guys. 
> 
> I don't really have much to say beyond that. I'm more curious as to what you guys think about this one. Let me know please. <3 day


	11. Civil War - Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emilie and Bee take off to the airport, and a certain proposal is finally dealt with in the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *note there is a certain thing about Bee that is mentioned for the barest of moments in this chapter. It does not in anyway truly effect the Bucky storyline as of yet but for those who do read Will to Live that was a bit of an easter egg for that story which by the end will be meeting up in Post Civil War vibes. Basically don't worry too much about that certain part of the chapter. I got a big headache over it when I realized that it would probably confuse a lot of people but it won't actually do anything to this story, YET. 
> 
> I'm eternally grateful for my friend orangesherbert06 who basically worked with me through this because I almost had a meltdown because of complex shared universe ffs.
> 
> Regardless enjoy and I'll see you with happier notes at the bottom.

10/11

CIVIL WAR ARC – PART 5

 

Bee was glad to see Emilie again. It had been a few weeks since the last time she had seen her. She could tell that things were less than perfect. Add on to the unsettled way Pepper had spoken to her before she hopped onto the private plane; things were going to be difficult from here on out. Even Sam had been less than helpful when he called her two days before asking for her to join him to deliver something and get Emilie away from this mess. It had been hard enough to see the way Bucky had looked when he had to let go of her. This was the saddest she had seen either of them. Even when she had dealt with her pain Emilie and Bucky had been there for her, and Sam who had done the best he could for what she could allow.

To see one of her favorite people worried and conflicted over something she could not very well control; it hurt Bee but she knew that like Emilie before she would stand beside her and try to do as much as she could.

“Do you want to talk about it, Em?” She began.

 

-x-

[EMILIE’S POV]

 

I smiled turning towards the concerned voice of my best friend. Bee had been one of my most complicated relationships but I adored her so much. She a strength to her that was so much like my own that it was so interesting to see how differently we handled situations. I could fight through anything while Bee was more cautious and logically driven. The only instance where that wasn’t true was due to Sam himself. Falling in love with Wilson had softened her heart to an extent but I could still see the uncertainty blooming underneath the surface.

I lifted my feet off the ground kicking my shoes off so that I could face her properly. Bee’s while curly hair was in full force today, but she looked tired – more than likely jetlag.

“Well, Bucky turned back into the Winter Soldier and asked me to marry him.”

I watched Bee’s face lighten as the reaction of shock flitted on her face, her mouth opened in a gasp before closing. “What?” She breathed.

“One day I’m going to hurt Sam for not explaining things before throwing you into these situations.”

Bee smiled softly. “Pepper told me that the government is involved and that the Avengers are split in two. I read about the death of the King of Wakanda on the way here. Was Bucky involved in that? The reports were a mess.”

“No. He wasn’t. This guy who probably was behind the explosion at my Aunt’s place took me captive and tapped into Bucky’s HYDRA programming with these phrases in Russian. It turned him back into his machine self. I was about to stop him in a way.”

She looked intrigued by that. “I think the Soldier knows I’m important to Bucky Barnes. He kept protecting me before Steve managed to get a hold on him and we ended up in the ocean.”

“When did he propose?” She hinted with a sly grin.

“When he was fighting Nat. Well technically it was after that. But It old him I loved him and the Soldier just blurted it out with that stupid smirk on his face.”

Bee laughed. “So did you give him an answer?”

I sighed. “He didn’t give me a chance. He bolted.”

“You’d say yes, right?”

“Maybe. But it wasn’t Bucky who asked.”

“They’re the same person even if he acts completely different. A part of him knows that Barnes won’t let go of you so easily. A part of him wants to have you as his wife. That’s pretty obvious.”

I laughed. “You would love that wouldn’t you?”

“It’s not really my call. But I adore you guys. I think it makes sense. I’ve seen you two together. Not even crazy psychos can drive you apart.”

“Is that why you picked the hotel by the airport?” I caught her.

“Sam’s there too.” She mumbled.

“I’ll take it, for now but I know that’s only half the truth. You’re resourceful. I know you know more than you’re saying.”

Bee feigned innocence. ‘You can think that.”

I really did miss her. There had always been something so calming about sitting next to her, almost reassuring.

“How are you Bee? How are you dealing with all of this?”

Bee shrugged. “I believe someone once told me that you just have to roll with it. Even the bad stuff can have some light in it. I know it might be hard to believe considering Tony Stark is who he is but I think that he’ll see reason eventually.”

“How long is eventually? They’ll tear each other apart before that happens.” I sighed.

Bee nodded. “Considering all that’s happened in the past year and a half I’ve come to realize that before things can get better shit has to happen. Break before you’re whole I guess.”

She had a point. Bee had more or less lost everything that mattered to her, apart for the fact that she still had her grandparents. That was one good thing that she could still hold onto if it all took an even worse turn. The way it was looking it just might.

Bee reached out and took my hand. She gave it a firm squeeze.

“Take a breath and stop thinking for the night.”

“Alright miss chill zone.” I joked before twisting around so I could lay next to her. I drew in a deep breath like she said and tried not to dwell on what the guys were up to.

The following morning when I woke up I could tell that something had shifted in Bee’s prespective. She had moved to the foot of the bed and was clutching the remote to the television. She had muted the newscast but it was clear from the news bulletin that the brawl had begun.

A knock soon sounded at the door. “I’m sorry miss but we were asked to evacuate.” A male voice shouted from outside.

“What’s the plan?” I asked her quietly. She lifted her head to look at me with a knowing looking look in her eyes.

“I suppose we make sure some of them don’t get hurt too badly.” I laughed.

“Gonna do those mind tricks of yours?” Her expression was light but untelling as she feigned complete innocence once more.

“No. Where did you get an idea like that?”

I smiled. Of course I knew she was just playing around. She just didn’t like to talk about a certain attribute she picked up nearly six months ago. This was where we differed. I didn’t mind using my talents where as she had strong reservations about it. I understood where she stood considering Bucky was exactly the same. He would love to never fight again if he could help it. It was half the reason it took so long for him to want to be near Steve.

“How bad do you think it’ll get?” I asked as we headed down to the car after placing the room key at the empty front desk. It was like a ghost town now.

The remaining few on the streets were hopping into their cars or taking the shuttles to a safe distance away from the insanity. We were heading right to it.

“It’s…chaos.” Bee said quietly as if she could feel it. We were pretty close to the action, perhaps she could.

Bee managed to get us close enough to the airport that we could walk the rest of the way without getting tired. What we found when we finally made it to the thick of things was exactly as Bee had said.

_Chaos._

Everyone was at each other’s throats. Sam and Rhodey. Clint and Natasha. Tony and Steve. Bucky and King T’Challa. Wanda was helping Clint right before Vision appeared. Bee had never crossed paths with him before although she had heard of him.

“He’s going to be a problem.” She muttered quietly as they took cover behind a stack of crates. They were fairly close to Sam.

“Why?”

“Not sure if I can do anything about him. His energy is off the charts.”

“What can we do?”

Bee closed her eyes as if thinking but I didn’t think that was what she was doing at all. I had once received a message from her when I was in danger and she was distracted. It had only been one phrase but her message had been clear, _I know this is freaky but get the hell out of there before you get hurt_.

 

[BEE’S POV]

_Wanda._ I tried my best to direct my thoughts towards her.

**Bee, what are you doing here?**

_Clear a path for Steve & Bucky. I’ll help._

**What do you mean?**

_Trust me. This gonna get worse before it gets better._

**Okay.**

I watched her begin to move the vehicles around trying to deflect both Vision, Rhodey and Tony. It didn’t take awfully long for Sam to realize I had joined the party. He was getting hit pretty badly when I interfered from the shadows.

“Bee.” He whispered quietly.

_Tell Steve to get to the helicopter. I’ll do what I can. We’ll be gone too shortly so don’t worry._

“Are you okay?”

I hesitated considered my nose was already bleeding for having to concentrate on deflecting Vision and carry on several conversations at once.

_Just tired. Be careful._

“You too.” He sighed before doing what I asked.

Once Wanda had gotten incapacitated I slipped away. I had to get back to Emilie who had gotten a chance to catch up with Bucky, Steve and what appeared to be Natasha aiding their escape. That was surprising. She had been on Tony’s side from what I could tell. However, in my own conscious I knew that Nat’s heart was not evil. She was constantly waging war within her to do the right thing. Sometimes it meant doing things that she wasn’t entirely comfortable with. I could only imagine what that had meant when she was still on the dark side – before Clint chose to not kill her.

“We have to get out of here.” I urged her as I wiped my nose with the sleeve of my shirt.

Steve started to move towards me but I shook my head. “I bought you some time. Probably shouldn’t have considering your other best friend’s worry but its fine. Emilie has to drive now.”

She looked aghast at my jibe but parted ways with Bucky when she noticed my condition.

“Look at you. You’re barely standing.” I lifted my shoulder as much as I could.

“Go.” I barked at the two super soldiers. Steve nodded in understanding before pulling Bucky along.

Nat was doing her best to not look irritated when The Black Panther caught a ride on the back of the aircraft. I smiled in her direction before Emilie started jostling me away.

I must have fallen unconscious sometime around the moment we reached the car again. When I came to I was greeted with was the familiar sight of Pepper Potts in shorts and a clipboard.

“How long have I been out?”

“Four days.” I drew in a deep breath, looking around the unfamiliar space. I was in someone’s house.

“Where am I?”

“It’s my place. Tony doesn’t know about this one.”

I must have looked surprised.

“We’re not on speaking terms at the moment, either.”

“I think he might need you.” I said as I slowly sat up. “Where’s Emilie?”

“Wakanda.” She replied simply.

“Wakanda?” I repeated, I was confused.

“That’s where Bucky is. T’Challa made sure to get her safe passage.”

“What the heck happened while I was resting?”

Pepper laughed but turned on the television that was on the wall. Reports filtered through cataloguing the damage caused by the internal spout between the Avengers. There was a small list showcasing where each Avengers’ member might be.

Sam, Clint, Scott and Wanda each had a question mark next to their pictures.

I just smiled at Pepper knowing where the remaining members of TEAM CAP were.

“What will you do next?” Pepper asked as she passed me a cup of coffee she made from the coffee bar on the other side of the room.

“Go home. My grandparents are probably worried.”

“They were. I made contact. They know you’re with me. _Safe_.” She paused. “I was sure you’d want to join Sam.”

“Not yet. I still have a life here. Besides not all of us can leave stateside. It’ll tip someone off.”

Pepper seemed amused but said nothing more about it.

“You’re very different Bee.”

I blinked. “Thank you.”

[EMILIE’S POV]

** WAKANDA **

As I hopped out of the jet that the King of Wakanda – T’Challa – had sent to retrieve me from Pepper’s second home in New Mexico my spare phone started going off immediately. I had a short moment to see that it was a message from Pepper letting me know that Bee would be fine in her care until she woke up. I had been worried about that little fact when Sam and Steve approached me being flanked by the King himself. I put my phone in my bag.

“Glad you made it out okay.” Steve said in greeting.

I shrugged. “Had to take care of Bee.”

I looked up at Sam who appeared calmer than I thought he would be when he was a) separated from his girlfriend b) her condition was unknown considering she still wasn’t awake after using what I assumed was too much adrenaline to try to help the guys standing before me.

Well, minus my one who I assumed was being tested in a lab.

“She’ll be okay. We have to have a bit more confidence in her making it out of bad situations. Her life wasn’t in danger this time.” Sam explained.

I agreed. “No, yours was.”

He sighed but didn’t argue as T’Challa stepped in to formally reintroduce himself. The last time I was in front of him he was threatening to do harm to me.

“Miss Timothy. I’m glad you made it.”

I could feel my nose wrinkling up at being called by my last name. It had been many years since it had been a comfort. “You can call me Emilie. Miss Timothy sounds too formally.”

The leader just smiled. “As you wish. Barnes is waiting for you.”

“What’s his status right now? What is gonna happen now?”

“He wanted to discuss it with you.”

I said nothing but I had a feeling that I knew what we were about to talk about. There were only so many ways he could live now that he returned to his old ways even for a day. I had spent much time with him and got to know how that strategic brain of his worked. I loved that part of him even when it would most certainly bring me pain.

He made me happy too. In ways I never expected to. It was kind of funny to reflect on it as we walked through the large and expansive laboratory. I noticed the eyes that were on me but at the same time ignored them. I needed to prepare for anything.

I was safe here. I had felt it the moment I stepped down from the stairs of the jet, but safety wasn’t the only thing I wanted.

I was surprised when we finally arrived at the sliding clear doors that no one followed me inside.

“We’ll give you some privacy.” Steve told me as T’Challa stepped away to tell one of the women at the stations to clear the room and turn off all cameras and recording devices.

This made it all the more real that we weren’t home anymore.

Wakanda was huge and more than anything Tony Stark could come up with. I stopped thinking of all of that as the doors shut behind me and Bucky turned around. He looked exhausted but clean in his attire of all white – a tank top and a pair of white drawstring pants. What was left of his metal arm had been covered by a black sheath of cloth.

He gave me a grin as he took me in.

It was still odd the different effects a person can have on you. One minute I was resolved to take whatever I had to deal with head on and the next Bucky had me in his arms as I sniffled.

“I’m okay.” He said quietly.

“I know.” I sighed. “What the hell happened to your arm?” I pulled back.

He chuckled. “Tony kind of blew it off with his suit.”

“What am I going to do with you lot?”

Bucky appeared to want to say something but held himself back.

“What?”

“Not important.”

“Everything is important when you’re about to fridge yourself again.”

Bucky shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was.

“Sorry. I should have known you would have figured it out. I still want to talk to you about it.” He paused looking at me as if it was the last thing he wanted to do. I was sure that was the truth. I reached out to take the only hand he had now.

“Then let’s talk.”

“This hasn’t been easy. I just don’t want to hurt people because I’m someone else. Someone I can’t control.”

“He was protective actually. Towards me.” I smiled.

“Yeah?”

“He hated when I commented on that but he never hurt me. He’s interesting.”

“Huh.” From the tone of that noise I could tell he was both intrigued and appalled by his alter ego.

“Don’t be jealous I’m in love with you, remember?”

“I do. Actually remembered that part.”

I stopped for a second and looked at him straight in the eyes. Maybe he remembered the other compelling part.

“Do you remember anything else?”

Bucky for his part tried not to smile.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I could have called his bullshit but instead used this as the opportunity to turn the script.

“Marry me.” I said quietly.

“What?” He sounded breathless as he twirled a few pieces of my hair in his hand.

“If this is our last day for a while then I want you, all of you from this day forward.”

I watched the sadness flit to and fro into decisiveness.

“Ask me again.” He mumbled as he pressed his forehead against mines.

“This isn’t a game, James.”

“I know. Please. For me, Emi.”

I sighed. He knew what calling me that did to me.

“Will you marry me, Bucky?” If we were doing this I could pull all the punches too.

From the slight tremor of air I felt against my face I knew he was going to make me pay for that later but he didn’t leave me hanging any longer.

“Yes. Tonight.”

“Today?” I asked.

“They want to put me under tomorrow.”

“Okay,” I breathed. “Okay. We are nowhere near prepared for this.”

“Worry not. We love our parties in Wakanda.” T’Challa’s voice echoed from the ceiling.

“Keep it low-key. Private.” Bucky called. “We wouldn’t want to cause a commotion.”

“You’re getting married, Buck.” Steve chimed in from the doorway.

I had to laugh at the shocked and happy emotions that Captain America was evoking. “You only get one chance to do this.” He paused. “This will be the only time, right?”

I lurched to reach across the room to smack him but Bucky had instinctively grabbed me from around the waist.

“Don’t piss off the bride, Steve!” Sam yelled as he joined the chaos.

I had to laugh. This was better than I was expecting. It would hurt less to say goodbye to him tomorrow. We still had tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wedding, eh? Would anyone care to see that or do you want me to dive straight into the morning after? I have written pieces of the aftermath of the whole Bucky decided to fridge himself again to protect the people he loves bit. It's actually not as bittersweet as I thought because I've basically had a plan for post cw BuckyEmi since wayyy before I actually knew about the ending so there is a lot of fluff ahead. That's a nice thought right?
> 
> Also I technically have two versions of the frozen!bucky scenario but I went with this one because what's more happier than a man getting married before he does something like that?
> 
> Btw for those curious I will be the one person who actually gives Pepperony the closure they deserve...in the next chapter or the one after depending on if the wedding gets written? But either way let me know what you guys thought of this and I'll see you in WTL or in this one's next chapter!
> 
> <3 Day
> 
> P.S. Happy Valentine's Day (ironically this was supposed to go up yesterday but I was tired by the time I got home I didn't get to finish typing it up.)


End file.
